Asian Mistress Chronicles: Personal Intermission

I have recently published 3 entries into my "Asian Mistress Chronicles" series about Taiwanese Mistress C and her white slave Daniel and got some encouraging feedback and questions from the audience. I have decided to proceed in the form of this text which may be perceived as some kind of not-so-tricky meta-narrative, or even as a personal confession in the middle of my fiction project. The truth is the "Chronicles" are based on my real life power dynamics with a powerful Asian Mistress in her country. She is not Taiwanese, although she has some family there. It needs to be said that short stories dramatize and somewhat fictionalize our sessions but they are usually quite close to what has actually happened between us. Overall my Mistress is more caring than fictionalized Mistress C but during the sessions she can be equally ruthless.

During playtime we follow very similar rules to those described in the short stories. Rather, it will be more correct to say that I follow those rules because she is the one who sets and polices them. The first rule which I think is not that usual in femdom relations is her clothing choices and policy. She is not just always fully clothed in my presence, she also purposely allows me to see the bare minimum of her skin. She likes to wear the full hunting gear with long boots, gloves and blouse buttoned up high on her neck, or long Asian-style dresses. She never puts on those sexualized dominatrix outfits and never shows her cleavage to me. Even her shoulders, ankles and feet are an extremely rare sight I almost never get. To be honest, I find it maddeningly hot, it makes her body something divine, transcendent and unaccessible to me. Obviously we never have penetrative sex (that would be unthinkable!) but she regularly orders me to please her orally; recently she really enjoys riding on my face and she can do it for long stretches of time. In that case I am obliged to wear a blindfold for the whole process so I tasted her pussy many times but I have never actually seen it. Once she decided she wanted to pee in my mouse so for that I was also blindfolded and taken to the bathroom. After she did it (which by the way was much more pleasant that I feared, I had never done something like that before) she only took off my blindfold when she was back fully closed and tidied up. Her clothing policies requires impeccable discipline on her behalf; we live together for extended parts of the year, and still she managed to never show me her back or her thighs.

The second rule applies to my clothing, or lack thereof. During our sessions I must be stark naked the whole time. Except for the collar and the chastity cage which are always there. Sometimes there's also a ballgag and a shock collar around my chastity cage directly connected to my balls. One of my Mistress's fixations is destroying my manhood in different ways (so already for a long time for me manhood means defeat); and she wants a direct and swift way to "fry my balls", as she put it, just by pushing the remote control button. Because during sessions I'm always naked in her presence and she needs to constantly watch my naked body, she strictly requires me to take care of myself, control my diet and go to gym at least 4 times a week. She doesn't want to observe an ugly body so I try hard to keep myself fit for that sake. After our relations become long-term I have lost 7 or 8 kg of fat and added muscles. I'm in my late thirties but my body has never been so fit; all thanks to my Mistress.

Speaking of the shock collar, I should probably comment on the episode in one of my stories about Mistress C and Daniel. This episode is at once true and not true, let me explain. In the story Mistress C blindfolds Daniel and orders him to please her orally; he obeys and performs quite well so she can soundly come; but after she comes she suddenly shocks Daniel's balls with a collar so that he falls to the ground in tears and disbelief. Then to fight Daniel's resent Mistress C commands him to open his mouth and shoves her foot inside, and he obediently starts to suck it. Basically the story shows how Mistress C destroys the slave's ego and breaks him completely. This episode happened in real life in our dynamics with my Mistress but I also belief on emotional level something entirely different occurred, almost showing my Mistress weakness... well, not weakness but compassion. So the setup was the same as in the fiction: I was blindfolded, made her come and then was suddenly shocked to the balls. I was indeed in disbelief and cried. And she indeed pushed her naked foot into my mouth. But the foot thing wasn't breaking me down, or final humiliation. It was actually more like a concession, or a sweetening. Maybe I'm imagining this but I think she was saying sorry my bad this way. The thing is I adore her feet. I'm totally obsessed about her beautiful tiny feet. And as I mentioned before I can very rarely see them, touching them is something exceptional. She orders me to lick her shoes or boots often but it's not the same thing of course. Kissing and sucking her naked feet is one of the most intense erotic pleasures I had in my life (and I had plenty); and to be honest I suspect she doesn't really enjoy it so when it happens it happens as a gift for me. That's why I think the meaning of the balls shocking episode was actually completely different from what I described in the fiction. She was kind of trying to make it up to me for randomly shocking me after the orgasm. So that's why when she puts the other naked foot on my chastity cage (also a rarity for her to put naked foot there), I was leaking like crazy. Every time I get to suck or kiss her feet I can't stop leaking like a whore.

And here comes rule number three. I don't get to come. Well, to be honest I do get to come but very very rarely and I need to beg for it with unpredictable result. During sessions I'm in my chastity cage, and if she decides to take it off for a minute usually it doesn't mean anything that good. Once, I was was told to masturbate kneeling in front of her. When I was close to coming I asked for the permission. She said no. She said no way and ordered me to put my hands behind my hand. I briefly considered disobeying but she showed me the remote controller to the shock collar which was still around my balls and I left my pathetic penis and was put to chastity again. Sometimes she ruins me but it happens not that often. Usually I just don't get to come and always feel on edge. Once, though, it happened just like in one of my fiction stories: I came inside the chastity cage without intending to. My Mistress was furious. I had to beg her for forgiveness for long time but she only forgave me after a very harsh caning.

The hunting story is the most fictionalized one. We have never done a proper hunt, although it is one of our favorite fantasies which we often discuss with my Mistress even outside the sessions adding more and more details. We have seen every available femdom hunting porn video together. Unfortunately it is very hard to make it happen in the region where we live. But what we did were parts of it. One day she really put me in the trunk of her car naked, handcuffed, gagged, plugged and caged. She drove around for more than an hour before coming back home. It was fascinating. We also did... well, not the real hunt but more like a target practicing for my mistress with a toy gun with plastic bullets. Funnily enough this was probably the only case I clearly benefitted from my chastity cage as it protected my manhood from the Mistress's shot. We haven't given up about my hunt, and I believe resourcefulness of my great Mistress will make it happen sooner or later.

Finally, I need to address the title: the title of the chronicles and the title of this intermission. It bothers myself that I keep calling my real Mistress and my fictional Mistress C Asian. I don't want to sound racist in any way, and I don't think that any race or any nationality has any inherent advantage. I dream of an equal world where everyone can freely choose their power relations as much as possible. Also, the term "Asian" is problematic in itself because it can name very different cultures from Central Asian to Indian to East Asian. I could have used the word "Chinese" instead but reference to nationality or ethnicity bothers me even more. Finally, I could have omitted "Asian" at all which probably would be the most politically correct way. But I just can't turn away from the truth of my fetish and from the truth of my desire. I can't imagine giving my body, my soul and keys to my so-called manhood to a woman from Europe, the US or Africa. My beautiful and divine Mistress was destined to be East Asian, and I love her.