Pony Ranch

Pony Ranch 19

“Ooof, nearly,” Mandy squeaked as the chair wobbled. She didn’t so much sit down as heavily collapsed bottom-first onto it. “Yep, that’s a definite! I think Sarah had better drive us back to the Inn later”. She looked at the half-full champagne flute in her hand, sighed, deliberately placed it on the table, pushing it away with one long finger, and repeated. “Why the long faces, guys? Last time I looked over this way, you were all laughing and now I see three….a trio of sour puss faces!”

The three of us laughed at that, earning a nod of approval. Jerry looked questioningly at me, a look I threw straight back at him. Jane backed me up, so he conceded with a rueful grin and sighed, being outvoted two to one, and turned to face Mandy, laughing a little nervously.

“We were just discussing, well, kind of wondering about….” He jerked his head. “About her, I mean and how, why, well, you know….”

“Know what? What do I know?” Mandy looked puzzled.

“What my not-so-better half is trying to say,” Jane intervened, giving her husband a withering look, confirming my suspicions as to who wore the pants in that relationship. “Who decided on what we witnessed back there before lunch. Not the little cameo itself, that was obvious, Sir Jeffery’s doing, but overall? We were talking about it, and then the same thought occurred to us. I mean,” she waved her hand. “Everybody else here seems to have been involved for a long time and you all know each other. Whereas Jerry and I are, well, not total newcomers, and we know some people here, but in a sense, we were still relative newbies, and our new friend here is even more so….I mean,” she jerked her head again. “What’s to stop that happening to one of us ?” she finished with a sort of apologetic little half-smile.

Mandy blinked—in fact, she blinked several times, looking astonished. So much so that she automatically took up her glass again and half-drained it in one go. Then she laughed, and not quietly, either. I noticed several heads momentarily turning in our direction as she let rip with a series of hearty cackles.

“My, my, darlings, is that what’s concerning you? Really? Golly,  even Golly Gosh!” she chuckled, evidently finding our apprehension highly amusing as she looked from face to face. “Were you really worrying about ending up like that silly cow, honestly?” That remark was addressed directly to me.”.

She seemed highly amused, so I met her gaze without flinching and replied in a steady, firm tone. “No, Mandy, I was not, am not worrying, I don’t think any of us were. But we are curious, and I for one don’t recall being given a rule sheet. You’ve provided a certain amount of information since I’ve known you and hinted at a lot of things, but as Jane said, we’re new or relatively new and so…so  as to what you might call governance.” I paused, wondering if I’d put that the right way.  Evidently, I hadn’t because it set my glamorous friend off on another laughing fit.

“Sorry”, she apologised and took another sip of champagne, seemingly to have sobered up a bit. “It’s just the idea of governance, like government. I can think of one or two folk who might fancy themselves as Prime Minister or worse, President, and for life!” she chuckled. “Who knows, I might even get a cabinet post, minister for….well,  something appropriate and probably nasty. But no,” she sighed. “Knowing those whose egos might direct them towards such elevated positions, I doubt I could work with them for long. Or them with me for that matter!”

“Would you like some more champagne, Mandy?” Jerry indicated her glass, but his low, flat voice indicated something else, like the expressions on Jane's face and mine. We hadn’t appreciated being made fun of and laughed at and teased.

“Sorry, guys?” Mandy apologised again. “I couldn’t help myself, especially with a belly full of the bubbly stuff. You did surprise me, though. I mean, are you really comparing yourselves to that gabby piece of silicone-enhanced, tabloid garbage?” The note of astonishment was back in her voice.

“Well, maybe not” Jane suddenly giggled, looking down at her chest. “I certainly don’t meet the criteria in that overblown sense, plus!

“I think it’s a nice criteria, as is, Honey”  Jerry consoled her.

“Very nice indeed,  plus you aren’t likely to shoot your mouth off either, any of you, nor do you crave attention every ten seconds of the day” Mandy observed with a smile “ so I wouldn’t worry too much on that score and there is no ‘rule sheet’ other than good old fashioned common sense”  the latter part aimed in my direction.

“Okay”, I said, “but it’s now later!”

“Later?” she blinked.

I reached out and gently removed the champagne glass from her hand and put it beyond her reach. “Later, as in later,” I reminded her. “As in loose cannons and tell me later!”

Mandy looked a touch indignant as her eyes momentarily followed the glass, then relaxed. “Phew, thanks! I did say that, didn’t I?” She blew her cheeks out and then looked thoughtful. “I wonder where that expression comes from, loose cannons! I mean it's one of those ones you use occasionally and know what it means, sort of, but where did it come from?”

“Hmmm!” Jerry cleared his throat. “I believe it dates back to the age of sail, the wooden-walled battle ships and so on. Cannons were big, heavy and cumbersome and usually firmly lashed down unless needed. If one became loose in a storm, say, it would be rolling back and forth as the ship moved, it would pose a considerable danger to both ship and crew, smashing everything in its path,  until they managed to secure it again. Thus posing a danger to all on board”. He finished and looked slightly flushed “I’m fond of sea stories and interested in Naval history”, he explained.

“No need to be embarrassed”, Mandy told him. “My Bob loves detective stories, especially those involving gruesome murders. Pervert that he is!” Then she laughed and winked at me, and I didn’t need to ask why. I’d seen him ‘enjoying’ his ponyboys and compared to his reading habits that perversion came with a gargantuan capital P!

“Makes sense, though”, Mandy continued. “That bitch was certainly capable of rolling about our decks and potentially putting our ship and crew in considerable danger even in a flat calm. To alleviate your worries there is no…no what can I call it? No watchdog, no committee, no secret cabal, no Big Brother. Oh, how I loath that silly TV program, talk about blatant voyeurism! So..…so…..where was I?

“Reassuring us” I reminded her.

“Ah yes” She nodded. “No, nothing like that. Nothing sinister if that’s what you were thinking. Nope, just plain, good old-fashioned common sense plus the fact that we all know each other and tend to keep in touch,” she shrugged. “Some of us more than others, those who’ve been involved longer. That bitch was clearly NOT the sort of person any of us would deem a suitable…emmm”

“Secrets keeper” Jane offered and added. “It’s something from the Harry Potter books.”

Mandy laughed. “Yes, quite appropriate. Unfortunately Roger seemed to have become enamoured, even besotted with the whore. No, I don’t think you knew him and probably never will, not now. Screwing the bitch outside of our tight knit little world was one thing, inviting her into it quite a different proposition! That ‘kiss and tell’ silly bitch couldn’t keep a secret even if her life depended on it! Thus, notice was taken and in this case her life, or lifestyle, depended on it!”

Jane suddenly clapped her hands, making us all jump a little. “I saw her on television recently, that…that…oh I’ve forgotten his name, bother! His chat show and she was, well, she looked a bit….”

“Drunk!” Mandy interrupted. “Obviously made serious inroads to the hospitality bar in the VIP waiting room, or whatever they have back stage. Well on the way to being pissed, thoroughly rat-arsed as they say. I didn’t see it, but they told me she could hardly walk down the stairs to make her grand entrance and stumbled down the last couple.  Apparently, most of the audience tittered rather than applauded.  I suspect being frontally top-heavy didn’t help either!”

Jane nodded. “Yes, it was a bit embarrassing to watch. They obviously cut it short, and towards the end, she kept going on about things she knew, things she couldn’t talk about, but that would amaze everyone. How she would be important, and a lot of other important people would look very silly. It sounded like drunken bragging but…..” she trailed off and made a gesture with her hands.

Mandy nodded. “Yes, and you were not the only one to see her performance, so alarm bells were already ringing, as were cell phones before that performance. Bad news travels fast within our little network, so when she did that interview, well, steps had to be taken swiftly and were taken. She was correct about important and influential people. Mandy paused and jerked her head in the direction of the other guests.

“As I said earlier, this event of Sir Jeffreys is pretty low-level compared to some, and there’s no…no one here I’d remotely call overly important or well known, not even our host,” she paused again and chuckled, jerking her head once more. Mind you, I’d keep that to yourselves. There’s more than one ego present that might object to my saying that!”

True though I thought looking around the room and noticed Jane nodding in agreement. I’d never heard of any of the people I’d recently been introduced to. That did, of course, raise the question of who these ‘important and influential’ people were, but I suspected that I wouldn’t get an answer if I asked, so I didn’t and let Mandy continue.

“I was only marginally involved and assumed the necessary steps had concluded. That’s why I was a little surprised to see her driving up behind me today, but then I was less surprised by what happened immediately afterwards. Shame about Roger, though, but he was always inclined to be a bit impetuous. I knew his mother, but” she broke off and wagged a finger at us. “It’s quite simple, guys, and you’ve nothing to worry about. Like I said, common sense.  However, dig even a little hole in the wrong road and you’ll swiftly get pushed into it, buried and forgotten! “She smiled “Metaphorically speaking, of course. Waste not, want not! So more likely to follow poor Roger into a jungle stall or worse! Those two aren’t the first and certainly won’t be the last to be so stupid. There’s that old saying, remember, ‘Money talks’, well, believe me, money is even more effective at buying or arranging ‘silence!”.

The three of us glanced at each other and then back at Mandy, who returned our sombre looks and then laughed. “Oh lordy, this is where I came in! Do cheer up guys. Your not anywhere near the dock let alone the condemned cell!  Look, here’s Sara and Suzy coming back, and there Sir Jeffery waving us into the next tent, and about time too, and why has my head stable girl got that silly, smug look on her face?”

*****

“So what on earth was all that about?  What have you been up to?” Mandy asked Sarah as the four of us took our seats, in the second row on the right-hand side, facing the podium and lectern. Mandy had led us to them, saying, "She wasn’t a front-row person." Nor it appeared was anyone else, except old Colonel xxx and his sour-faced wife, who took their seat in the centre of the front row on the left. Sitting in comparative isolation, the stately couple's body language signalled to everyone present that they considered this their natural right and privilege.  Everyone else followed our example or sat behind us, so we became the front-row people on our side by default.

“Why did Eustace come rushing up like that, fling his arms around you and kiss you like that, and why was Claude grinning like a cat that had fallen into a dish of cream, giving you a thumbs up?” Mandy demanded. “What’s got into that pair and what have….”

“Oh, he’s said yes, he said yes. He’s going to do it!” The new arrival was Jane, bubbling with excitement. He just stopped us and asked if we were interested in him. I mean just like that, totally out of the blue so of course I said yes and and so…oh well, the price he suggested was more than reasonable so of course we jumped at the offer!” She hugged Sarah, kissed her enthusiastically on the cheek, flashed a smile at the rest of us, and then dashed off.

“Impulsive girl!” Mandy watched her and then turned to Sarah. “Well?” she demanded.

“Well, what? Oh, you mean that?”  Sarah nodded in the direction Jane had disappeared.

“Yes, that!” Mandy growled. “What‘s up with it suddenly becoming happy hour?” Her eyes narrowed. “Just what have you been up to, Madam?”

Sarah chuckled. “Merely spreading a little happiness as you just suggested, Boss! Plus, ensuring you and I get to enjoy ourselves, not to mention maybe saving you a few pennies into the bargain. Now, here's Sir Jeffery looking all pompous and important, about to start the proceedings, so… oh, I’m assuming you did intend to bid on a certain late addition to the auction? She smiled wickedly and winked at Mandy, who was looking somewhat perplexed.

“Nope!” Sarah said, putting a finger to her Boss’s lips, stopping a verbal outburst. “Just go with the flow and follow my lead, trust me” she winked.

Mandy’s mouth opened and closed, and then did the same again. It was probably the first time I’d ever seen her lost for words, and I doubt that she could have remained silent had not the microphone squeaked loudly into life with an ear-splitting electronic screech that stopped all conversation dead. It was followed by a second that died quickly away as Sir Jeffery quickly fiddled with some hidden control on his lectern. He did the obligatory one, two, three finger tap on his microphone, but omitted the testing-testing vocal part as the dull taps echoed around the room and then cleared his throat.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!”

“And about bloody time”, Mandy hissed, finding her voice. She gave Sarah a hard look but refrained from saying anything else.

Our host, I was pleased to see, kept his opening comments relatively brief, possibly because the event was running late and a discernible mood of growing impatience was evident among his audience, which included prospective buyers, sellers, and mostly assorted general spectators I suspected. He picked up a small brass  gavel with a wooden handle from the lectern, wrapped it twice, and two of his young stable lads brought out the first of the afternoon’s lots to a subdued round of applause.

Predicably lot 1 fell flat. There was no reserve and not a single opening bid which didn’t surprise me. I might have been a novice to this type of auction for human livestock but I’d attended enough sales and auctions with my parents when I was young. My whole house was furnished with their purchases for my mother had a good eye for a ‘bargain’. At least my father always said that, whereas to me one old chair or cupboard looked the same any other and still does!

Lot 2, the 66-year-old Pandora fared no better than the 64-year-old Barnaby, which I thought was hardly surprising.  Bargain basement was how Suzy had described the elderly lots we’d briefly viewed.  Bargains that it seemed nobody wanted for basement duties or elsewhere, as Sir Jeffery tried in vain to elicit at least one offer for the dumpy, elderly woman.  He wasn’t entirely unsuccessful, but the offer of ‘one pound for both of them' from somewhere behind me neither impressed nor amused him. Nor might I add, the accompanying ripple of laughter from the audience.

“No hilarity, please, " he reproved tartly. “There may be no reserve, but that does not entitle you to make ridiculous offers, Sir! Now if you wish to make a serious offer, yes….no, very well then. Anyone?” He finished with a sigh and a long pause while he looked around in vain before lightly tapping his gavel on the lectern, “Unsold!”.

“What will happen to her and the other one” I whispered sideways.

“Various options”, Mandy shrugged indifferently. “Return to the owners, maybe sent onto another auction, or….” she paused and shrugged again. “Other options, as I said. I wouldn’t worry yourself about them. Now what's going on? What's happened to Noire? He should be next? This is getting silly, and why are you chuckling like that?”

Her last remark addressed to Sarah, who was indeed cackling quietly to herself. Sir Jeffery had just announced to the effect that, as with lot 3, lot 4 had also been subject to a late withdrawal. A statement that caused a rumble of discontent and didn’t go down well with at least two parties seated over on the left-hand side. One big burly-looking guy I’d not been introduced to was up on his feet giving our host a right mouthful as my father would have put it, nor were the German couple, the Schmidt’s, seated nearby being overly quiet either. Indignation and anger were very much in the air, so Sir Jeffery jumped down from the lectern dais to engage directly with them.

Mandy watched the altercation for a moment, then started as Dolly suddenly appeared at her elbow and hissed at Sarah. “Well done you, that’s dropped the miserable old skinflint deep in the shit.” she giggled delightedly, gave a quick thumbs up, then shot back to her seat at the rear just as quickly, Mandy’s head swivelling to follow her before turning to Sarah. “Give!”

It was Sarah’s turn to shrug, though she’d sensed enough not to giggle or laugh, not with that black expression souring her boss’s face. “No big deal, merely spreading a little happiness like I said. A little bird told me, well, Simon, told me that his nibs over there was having second thoughts about that Dutch pair he’d grabbed. Noire was a late arrival and once his boss clapped eyes on that big boy, well, like Bob, he’s got that same taste in truculent big bastards!”

Mandy nodded. ”That I do know!”.

“Yeah, well while I was circulating,  Helen….” Sarah turned to me, “She’s the old lady we met on the way into the viewing tent earlier remember. Anyway, Helen told Dolly that Sir Jefferey was a little short of the readies at the moment”.

“I’d heard he was a somewhat strapped for cash Mandy admitted. “That’s why I’ve been leaning on young Charlie if she wants Pandora. I don’t want a rubber cheque. Wait, are you telling me…”

Sarah shook her head and then said “No, well kind of but hear me out”. She glanced to one side where our host was still engaged in trying to mollify several of his unhappy guests and jerked her head in the same direction.

“You saw how he was when he was talking with us about Noire earlier. Not quite drooling at the mouth but not far off!”

“Mmmm” Mandy mused. “So?”

“So, like I said, he was having second thoughts about shelling out and emptying his piggy bank for the Dutch pair plus I knew Jane was very taken with Draco, that ponyboy they’d taken for a spin yesterday. So while you were circulating and doing a few introductions, I was thinking of that additional lot and guessing you were interested in the bitch so after Dolly mentioned his financial situation to me….well I did a little bit more thinking!”

Mandy’s eyes narrowed. “So what exactly did you think”

Sarah gave an evil-sounding chuckle. I caught him on his own and mentioned Pandora to him and how you might be amenable to a …a delay in payment or even…”

“You what!”

“Oh don’t go getting all het up, oh look, he’s back on the podium. Hush now, I’ll fill you in later but don’t start bidding on that cow till you get my signal. Once I get the nod from Simon, I’ll poke you in the ribs, alright?”

Mandy didn’t reply, although her mouth opened and closed several times. I turned to Suzy on my left, but before I could say anything, she spoke first, whispering, “Interesting! Oh, look, that’s the one you were interested in up now.”

The girl was right. That had been an interesting interchange, not that it made any sense to me, nor by that look on her face, to Mandy either. But curiosity could wait, it was decision time, and did I want to join Sir Jeffrey as the owner of an empty piggy bank? Mind you, from what I’d seen of his estate and stable operation, I doubted that his could be that empty. More a reluctance to spend I thought given people seemed to freely throw terms like miser and skinflint around when they spoke about him.

I recalled one of those ‘difficult’ family moments from my childhood. We’d been at a country auction and mum had been enthusiastically bidding on some…. on some object that I can’t even recall now, and at one point stopped bidding and looked beseeching towards my dad. He’d shaken his head, and that was that. Mum sulked all the way home and half the next day. It wasn’t till I was older that I fully understood his explanation. ‘Your mother may do the looking and bidding, but I’m the one who does the paying, and that means I’m the one who sets the limit!’.

“Now then, ladies and gentlemen, back in business. My apologies for the little interruption but I’m sure these things happen even at the best auction houses”. He mentioned a famous fine arts house with branches all around the world, at which point Mandy snorted derisively. She was probably right for I doubted they had many clients or customers storming out as the Scmidt couple just had along with that big guy who given our host a right Anglo-Saxon mouthful before exiting!

Lot 5, *********, was the ‘back in business’ item, if one can refer to a human being that way. I was going to say  ‘fellow’ but throwing that in front of human being under the circumstances didn’t seem quite right given the difference in our respective situations, even amusing!  I was a world away from that poor creature Simon and one of the stable lads was hauling onto the podium and I was pleased to see that she was not being quite as cooperative as the two previous sad dispirited creatures  had been.

********* had caught my eye the previous day before we’d left the new training building as a sudden thought occurred to me.  Mandy had concurred immediately when I mentioned the idea to her. “Yes, I agree, quite suitable in all aspects”.

After watching the two youngsters with their new acquisitions, Pandora and ********, we’d briefly spent a few minutes looking at the two mares destined for the next days auction and I’d kind of felt impulsively drawn to one of them as I recalled a conversation I’d had with Sally the other day. It had been a lovely afternoon, the sun was shining but not hot enough to make a hardworking pony sweat unduly nor was there any chill wind. Suzy and I had assisted Sally in harnessing a very truculent Medusa to a sulky for a run around my little estate.

I’d been watching my diminutive lover effectively using that terrible long whip of hers to quiet the big troublesome animal before her outing when I decided to join her. I’d intended to spend the afternoon exercising Beauty and Goldie on the external walker but it was so nice why not throw a saddle over Beauty and join her. We could do a couple of circuits and then stop for a cuppa and a biscuit at the picnic table and enjoy the afternoon sun.

“You know, I’ve never ridden a pony the way you do”  It was while we were sitting and sipping coffee from a thermos flask that Sally brought up the subject looking at Beauty tethered nearby.

“Never?” I was surprised. I’d never thought about but given her perfect, if child sized body, she’d have no trouble in mounting a pony, any pony in fact. Every animal stalled in Mandys stable could have carried her on their back and shoulders with relative ease given her size and weight.

“Uh huh, nope” She shook her head. “I’ve only ever driven carts and mostly behind things like that” she added eyeing Medusa the big Russian ex-bodyguard. The poor creature was tethered facing away from us and almost bent double, her bridle closely fastened to the branch of a fallen tree. An additional uncomfortable punishment  imposed by her tiny Mistress during the ‘rest’ period for her mettlesome negative behaviour. From where I sat the creatures massive udders were hidden from view but doubtlessly they were also bleeding like her  shoulders, bottom and thighs. Further evidence of her tiny Mistress’s irritation.

“How come?”

Sally snapped off one finger of a KitKat bar and daintily bit a piece off one end and thought for a moment. “I suppose because it rarely happens at Mandys. Carts and carriages of various sizes yes but I don’t think she’s got a single saddle in the tack room, not one. She’s too big, well maybe not for Samson or Hercules if she was so inclined and even they would struggle with Sarah on their backs. I never thought about it till just now,  strange!” she finished eyeing Medusa speculatively.

“No problem with that one, we can get a saddle made for her easily enough. It’ll cost a bit but nothing we can’t afford, Love” I hesitated. “I’m not sure I’d advise it though, not with her!”.

“Mmmm” Saly took another bite of KitKat and continued looking thoughtfully her big ugly mare, then shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. It would feel….oh I don’t know, kind of wrong on that one. Plus she’d be too much of a handful I expect. Maybe in a few years time when she’s well broken!”

I nodded. “I think she’s better behind a cart, safer!” I added quickly feeling a sudden twinge of anxiety. Medusa was a bloody big mare by any standards and still about as wild, angry and dangerous as she’d originally been despite Sally’s enthusiastic efforts to domesticate the huge beast. The image of my tiny lover perched atop that feral animal with nothing but a crop, reins and spurs to control and contain its anger was an alarming prospect. “Much safer between those shafts” I repeated firmly and then as an addition. “Why not try my Beauty, or Candyfloss, she’d be even better. You could try her before Suzy sells her, she’s even more docile”.

“Maybe, I’ll think on it. Anyway, Beauty is your and yours alone remember just like my Medusa. That’s what we agreed and so we shouldn’t cross those lines. I’ll think on it some. Maybe I could even buy myself a riding pony, I mean we’ve empty stalls haven’t we. Come on” she jumped up. “Time to see if Medusa’s learned to behave herself otherwise the stables going to get very noisy once we get back!”

I grinned at that recent memory. It had for Medusa never seemed to learn and the word ‘mercy’ meant nothing to Sally unless it had ‘less’ tacked on the end and in practical terms, Sally never went in for less! Even Suzy had complained about the noise which was a first in my experience.

It was Sally’s comment about a riding pony that had sprung into my mind as I looked at the two mares obediently following the uncaring mechanical arm of the pony walker. One destined to be lot six was pretty average looking height and body wise with a long mane of brown hair and I guessed to be in her early forties since her bridle covered a good portion of her face but it was her companion that had triggered my interest. Taller, long shapely legs, very long in fact that helped her to walk with an elegance the other pony lacked. Apart from the legs there wasn’t a great deal else about the beast to tempt the eye. No mane to speak of, just a blonde fuzz and hardly a discernible bump where her udders were supposed to be. Just two prominent nipples so had her shaven crotch not been on view I’d have taken the mare for a colt or stallion at first glance.

“Thirty five or there abouts, maybe” I said to Mandy who shook her head.

“No, younger. That other one, perhaps thirty five or so and the beanpole,  thirty at the most. That one looks more in Bob’s line than mine!”

“Oh I don’t know” I mused. They were both younger than they appeared at least to me and then I remembered that pony life did tend towards premature ageing and Mandy was far more experience in this type of assessment than me. I told he what I was thinking for the ‘Beanpole’ and she nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, I agree, quite suitable in all aspects for that purpose and big enough to appeal to Sally into the bargain!”

“How much do you think she’ll for and oh, I don’t want you chipping in, not with money anyway. You and Bob have already done way too much for me as it is! Besides, I want to buy her for Sally myself as a …a sort of partnership gift” I blushed.

Mandy found that amusing and roared with laughter and took my arm leading me away, apologising quickly as she sensed my resentment. “Oh don’t take it to heart. I know what you mean. Bob bought me my first dressage pair as a wedding present after all. Price wise you can never tell I’m afraid. I’ve seen gawd awful stock sell for ridiculous sums and occasionally the reverse but not very often in the latter case” she cautioned. “Speaking personally I wouldn’t go higher than…” she lent close and whispered in my ear. I smiled and nodded. I liked that figure.

Now, twenty-four hours later I was feeling decidedly less confident as I glanced down at the A4 sheets in my hand. The first couple of bids were accepted by a beaming Sir Jeffrey, who despite the recent altercation he’d had seemed to be in that same untroubled benign mood that Jane, Claude and Eustace had displayed. I wasn’t the only one who’d noticed for I saw Mandy throw another exasperated glance in Sarah’s direction. I grinned and reread the entry that interested me.

My friend had a good eye for pony flesh in terms of age.  The animal was twenty-nine years old,  Rumanian. A former physical education teacher who vanished en route to a tournament along with the teenage netball team she’d coached. Surplus to requirements she’d been sold as a prospective racing pony but although leggy and superbly fit her owner had found her less promising than some of his younger livestock.  Probably less appealing to the eye as well I thought thinking of those deliciously bouncing udders I’d seen on so many ponies.

Fourteen months in harness and described as ‘temperamental and spirited’ . Interesting terms I thought but from a positive prospect. Sally would hardly be interested in a docile doormat of an animal would she? They’d removed the bridle and head harness replacing it with a ball gag for the  viewing podium so I’d had a look at its face. A brief look before Mandy hustled me into the luncheon tent. Beanpole, that name had stuck in my head so maybe I’d suggest it to Sally if I was successful and she wanted to change it.

Leg wise and body wise Beanp….I mean XXXX might have interested a model agency, maybe one of the top ones. They tend to go in for the flat frontage look don’t they? Plus yesterday on the walker she’d moved with the sort of natural grace that would have served her well on a Rome or Paris fashion show catwalk. Whereas above the neck, well, I won’t she was ugly but‘d obviously suffered from some genetic or similar aberration that made her face and features somewhat angular to look at. By no means monster like but definitely a little odd! Mandy had even muttered, “Now if it had been me selling that one I’d have left all the head tack on her!”.

It was a good job my friend was more alert than I was for I was still looking at the notes deep in  thought when she stuck a finger in my rib cage as she hissed “Wake up!”

“Going twice, twice do I hear more, last chance ladies and gentlemen to own this fine athletic animal. Years of useful life left in those splendid long legs. Yes, no, surely someone is willing to commit another five thousand, no….yes by Jove! Lady in the second row there, well done madam!”

“Sit down, Silly” Mandy hauled me to the chair again after I’d jumped up waving my hand.  I complied feeling somewhat embarrassed but nobody laughed or anything. I waited watching Sir Jefffrey intently who was looking over my head towards the rear rows with similar intensity. Suddenly he shrugged.

“Come on, no? Alright, going twice with a new bid, twice, yes, no….” he paused and shrugged. “Well then thrice and sold to the last bidder he banged the gavel and beamed at me. “My apologies Madam, I’m ashamed to confess that you name eludes me for the moment and I know we were introduced only yesterday. “Sold to Mrs********* lovely companion” he beamed a big smile at me.

*****

“Excellent, splendid! Jove, Simon. Thee are times when all this new-fangled technology is actually useful. I’m old enough to remember when such a transaction would have taken a month” Sir Jeffery paused. “Maybe not a month but getting on for a fortnight I expect by the time a cheque had gone the rounds!” he suddenly chuckled “Mind you in my case it would have been longer than a month because it would have taken that long for me to have got around to writing out the damn cheque. Regrettably for some reason I’m not the most prompt of people when it comes to paying up. Alas!” he winked at me.

“I know, and while we're talking about cheques,” Mandy said, or better still, bank transfers. She pointed at my cell phone, which I’d retrieved after showing him and Simon that the bank transfer had taken place. “I’m not prepared to hang around for a month while you feel ‘regretful.’ How about doing a bank transfer in my direction for Pandora? Your not fooling me with all that ‘living in the past’ geriatric crap!”

Sir Jeffrey laughed, and then his expression changed. “But dear lady, I thought that was settled, quid pro quo as my old Latin master would have said. Is it not as we agreed. A favour in exchange for a favour surely?” He was addressing his words to Mandy but he’d turned to look at Sarah.

“C’mon Boss” Sarah took Mandys arm and gently  pulled her away. “Lets head for the après sale nibbles and champers buffet and have that little chat you wanted to have a  while back”

Mandy allowed herself to be led away as Sir Jeffrey looked after them, then at me, then shrugged still looking puzzled and turned to talk to Simon. Suzy and I hurried after our companions, Suzy looking equally baffled whereas my mind was more on financial matters. I’d just virtually emptied my current account, making that down payment. I’d have to set about transferring funds from various savings and other accounts when I got home, and pay the balance. Unlike Sir Jeffrey, I was a ‘prompt’ sort of person who didn’t like having debts hanging over my head.

“All part of the deal, " Sarah said, handing Mandy another glass of bubbly. “As I mentioned, he was temporarily strapped for cash. He regretted not having seen Noire before agreeing to purchase the Dutch pair when I ran into him for a chat during lunch.  Anyway, to keep it brief, I suggested he give Fiona a quick call and make her an offer for the big beast. She’s supposed to be a good friend of his, after all. If she were agreeable, I’m sure Claude and Eustace would happily pay him a decent price for the Dutch father and son pair. Plus, if he wanted a little extra, the J’s were looking for a ponyboy and seemed quite taken with young Draco".

Mandy looked at the glass in her hand, considered it and then swapped it for a tumbler of apple juice. “That sounds like one hell of a conversation you had with him! He was singing the praises of that Dutch pair when we talked to him while we were looking at Noire”

Sarah shook her head and chuckled. “Sheer face-saving bluff on his part, I expect, and things sort of fell into place in my mind. He was moaning like hell and seemed to be using me as a sort of…sort of sympathetic ear, and I’ve no patience for that sort of thing. If people want a shoulder to cry on, please don’t use mine! I just tossed a few possibilities back at him”. Sarah smiled and sipped her champagne. “Next time he caught me, his mood was very different, obviously having made his phone call to Scotland and got a yes or maybe an aye in the local dialect. That’s when I stung him about Pandora and made a little suggestion. Taking a liberty I know, but as the opportunity had arisen, why not? One favour deserves another if you get my meaning” she chuckled and jerked her head back towards the auction tent. “and lets be realistic, Pandora’s price was only going to be a fraction of what Miss plastic tits was going to go for. We might have been a bit surprised but I gathered there would be several people less so on the other end of telephone lines or what ever the modern equivalent is nowadays!”

“Hence that cough and nod in Simon’s direction during the bidding war I was having with ‘she who shall not be named’ after all the others dropped out”>

“Who’s that?” I whispered to Suzy who shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

“Hmmm, well you might have given Simon the nod a little earlier. That bitch still cost me  a fair packet!”.

Sarah laughed. “Yeah, but even with no reserve, it would have looked a bit suspicious if she’d sold for peanuts. Besides, I owed itr to Sir Jeffrey, one irate punter to deal with later is better than half a dozen! Once the other phone bidders dropped out it was Colonelk ******** wife, your good self and our less than popular friend on the end of the phone Simon was holding. Just one of those things that she got cut off at a critical point right after the colonels sour faced spouse dropped out, serve the lazy cow right for not bothering to attend in person! Can’t blame anyone but herself for technical difficulties!”

“Your being a little unfair” Mandy chuckled. “I didn’t even know about that extra lot myself till a couple of hours ago so heaven knows how she and those others found out about it! Not that it matters now of course” she laughed and clapped Sarah on the back. “Poor old Simon but I’m sure Sir Jeffrey will be able to explain his way out of it, bad atmospherics and poor rural service or something and by the time she got reconnected, he’d dropped the hammer! I think I can absorb the loss on Pandora under the circumstances”.

Sarah nodded. “Yup, that’s what I figured when he let slip she’d be one of those putting in a phone bid. Come on lets have a few nibbles and decide what we’re going to do. Head back straightaway or take up the option to stay another night down the road. Personally I fancy the latter and trying something else on the menu, they seem to  have an amazing chef!”

Mandy nodded and tossed her car keys at Sarah. “Yes, no rush. A nice dinner, a good nights sleep and we can pick up the new livestock in the morning and no, neither of you two young ladies need to know who was on the other end of the line” She laughed and teased. “Maybe at some other time. Come on ladies”.

“Hop in, Ma’am” Sarah said a few minutes later politely holding the passenger door open for her boss as Suzy and I scrambled into the rear then added from the driving seat as she reached for the ignition. “A very successful trip methinks and I’m certainly looking forward for what someone else is about to receive!” she laughed as the engine roared into life. 

*****

We were back the following morning. De’jà vu I thought, thinking of our outward journey as Suzy twisted around in her seat from looking at the horse box behind us as the vehicle moved smoothly away. Well not quite, we’d set out with two animals and were returning with three and all somewhat more animated than the two the horsebox had housed when we’d left my place. One in particular had been troublesome as we’d loaded the box until Mandy encouraged her with a borrowed riding crop. ‘Much more interesting and lively stock’ as Suzy described them.

“This way everybody is happy, well those that count.” Sarah was saying from the passenger seat returning to her verbal manoeuvring of the previous day..

“Your forgetting Bob” I warned leaning forward. “Bargain price or not that’s still a hefty chunk of his money you two have just spent and  weren’t you complaining to me the other night he was in one of his tedious economising phases? ”

“Our money” Mandy corrected but she did look thoughtful.

“Sherlock Holmes!” Suzy suggested brightly. “You said yourself, Bob likes detective stories. I was talking to him in the stable one time and he was saying he’d love to call in and see the museum on Baker street next time he was in London. You know the one that’s housed in what used to be a bank that was at the same address the fictional detective was supposed to live at. Why not book a romantic couple of days in a plush hotel, you can visit the museum, enjoy a couple of decent candle lit meals and then tell him. You know what I mean. Make it the excuse for going.  Has he been there yet?”

“Mmmm, not to my knowledge,” Mandy muttered thoughtfully. “He does regularly re-read those books, though, and he was glued to the telly during the TV series. "

“You could visit Eustace and Claude,” Sarah chipped in, adding. “I’m sure Bob will be interested in seeing their latest acquisitions, and you can say hi to Inga; she was asking about you when we saw her during our visit. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you again, especially since you’ve been instrumental in getting her two new ‘boys’ to care for, particularly as Daddy seems like he might be an interesting challenge!”

Mandy was nodding in agreement. “ Capital, ladies. I think that might do the trick. He’s always gets on with Claude and Eustace, but….” She frowned. That might take a while to arrange especially if I do it as a surprise and what about Miss big tits in the meantime, she’s hardly likely to remain inconspicuous in my stable is she? You know how he likes to wander around and peruse my livestock while chatting with you, even if they aren’t exactly his cup of tea!”

“No problem”, Suzy winked at me. “Don’t put her in your stable! We’ve a spare stall. We can board her for a few weeks while you make your arrangements, and then tell Bob about her when you're away enjoying your romantic little weekend. Who knows, maybe if you gently remind your gay friends that they owe you, or rather Sarah, they might even let Bob have a little play. This way, once again everybody is happy!” The girl flashed an impudent grin at big Sarah, who was suddenly looking outraged and far from happy.

“We’ve got a spare stall?” I queried with a laugh. “We?”

“Well, you know what I mean, and Sally won’t mind, I bet!”

“But, but…I mean the whole point was….” the big head stable girl spluttered and looked appalled as her boss spoke up.

“You know, that’s not a bad idea, Suzy. The economy drive spell will be on the decline anyway by then, it never lasts long, and it's been a while since we had one of those cosy romantic weekends, or maybe a couple of days mid-week might be better. What do you think?”

Her question was directed at Sarah, but the big woman was still struggling with the prospect of not getting her eager hands on her boss’s celebrity purchase, at least not for a while.  Virtually speechless, whereas I could see certain entertaining, not to mention amusing, advantages in the proposal.

I caught young Suzy’s eye and gave her a sly grin. The girl's face was absolutely expressionless, but I knew her well enough to know that was a false front.

“Yes, that’s what we will do, providing you don’t mind, of course?” Mandy turned to me.

“Happy to oblige”, I answered, “Sally and I are only too happy to help and besides, I owe you big time anyway”.

Mandy beamed at me as she turned the steering wheel and slowed the big vehicle. “Good, that’s settled then, I can wait,  and talking of waiting, one sec folks” She drew to a halt near the steps to the big house waving to a familiar figure. “Now I must have one last word with Sir Jeffrey before we decamp. Oh, and of course since you’ll be looking after…., oh, we’ll have to think of a suitable name for her driving back won’t we?  Feel free to introduce the bitch  to the basics of her future life. Nothing too serious though whip wise, don’t get carried away and not too much on those huge tempting udders” she laughed and exited her car.

“You rotten little Bitch!” Sarah growled, finally finding her voice as she scowled at Suzy.

“Me?” Suzy giggled innocently. “Call it payback time for a very sore bottom and three orgasms to nil  the other night. Next time, be less selfish and a bit more generous. I told you I’d get even and I have, so there,” she thrust her pink tongue out aggressively at the big woman.

I chuckled at the various expressions of frustrated anger and frustration flickering across Sarah’s face as she stared helplessly across at our younger companion and couldn’t help but add my pennyworth to the pot.

 “You can even have first turn, Suzy when we do those introductions Mandy just mentioned! I’m sure we can find something to make those udders dance divinely without leaving too many visible marks!”

Here ends Pony Ranch, the third book in the Pony Reality series. Keep an eye out for Pony….Pony something or other if I get around to writing it!