My Roman Crucifixion (Part 1) - Broken, Nailed, and Displayed

The Preparation of Shame

They dragged me out of the darkness again, rough hands gripping me like I was less than nothing.

I had to be shaved. I was 18 years old and luckily was not very hairy. 

They wanted it all, the hair on my arms, my legs, even where no man should be touched.

I was thrown down onto a cold stone bench, my limbs pinned.

One guard pulled out a sharp razor, its edge gleaming cruelly in the dim light.

They started on my arms, ripping at the light hairs with the razor and their hands, scraping and cutting until raw flesh showed beneath. No water or lubricants used. 

Every stroke burned; every yank tore.

But that was only the beginning.

They moved down to my legs, scraping away the fair hair that had been part of me for the past four or so year's - now scraped bare, my skin reddened and sore.

The guards laughed as they worked, mocking me like a beast stripped of its fur.

I had a small amount of hair on my face, a short patchy beard - this was stripped quickly. 

They didn’t stop at my arms or legs, no inch of my body was spared.

The razor traced long, burning paths, dragging across sensitive skin, tearing at hair in clumps.

Then came the worst - my groin.

They tore away the hair that was mine alone, exposing me utterly - naked in a way I had never been since boyhood. 

The razor scraped over swollen skin, the sting sharper, crueler. They worked on my penis, scrotum, even the area between the legs leading to the anus. The pubis was cleaned bare, I looked like a child. 

I wanted to scream but my voice was gone.

When they finished, my body was raw and aching, stripped of every hair, every shield, only the short hair on my head remained  

I was left vulnerable, exposed like a child, humiliated beyond words.

They shoved me back into the cell, the cold air biting my bare skin where the hair was gone.

I wrapped my arms around myself, but there was no hiding now.

I was nothing but flesh and shame.

The next morning they came, it was cold and they threw a bucket of cold water over me. I was shivering as I was still naked. 

The cell stank of mold, sweat, and waste. I was crouched in the corner, filthy, my wrists bruised from chains, my breath shallow in the stale air. They didn’t say a word when they came. Two soldiers entered - helmets gleaming, whips at their belts. One grabbed my arm, the other kicked me to my feet. I staggered, weak, blinking at the torchlight.

The redness on my body from the shaving had subsided, however when I looked at myself I felt shame, I wasn’t an adult, I was back to boyhood. 

They mocked me and made comments about my private parts. With the cold they had shrunk with my penis retracted into my body. My scrotum was tight against my inner thighs, shielding my testicles from the cold as much as they could. 

The soldiers mocked me some more, said I was a pre-pubescent boy, that I couldn’t have babies and asked if I had even wanked and cum yet. They said I looked cute with no hair, that the girls would love to see me. 

A few years back during puberty my foreskin had retracted to expose half of my glans. A friend thought I was circumcised but I think it just retracted during puberty. I guess some men just have short foreskins, but I was very shy to show this and would always try to cover the penis head as much as possible. I hated to be nude with others, I was always the shyest amongst my friends. 

The soldiers noticed my shyness and retracted the foreskin fully, I wanted to pull the skin forward to cover the head but they hit. One pulled out a fine piece of rough hemp cord and tied it around my penis at the groove where the glans meet the shaft. He tied it quite tightly to stop the foreskin from returning to its natural covering position. He pulled the bunched skin to cover the cord. I didn’t understand why he did this. 

They dropped my cloths on the wet floor and told me to dress. 

They rushed me to dress, this made me feel better as I hated being naked. I felt that Rome did not condone nakedness, I would be fine. 

They then tied my hands together at the front.