What Became of Me

“Finally! My training is starting for real now!”, I thought.

I knew that everything Petra had said so far was necessary. In fact, as you know, the previous lack of communication about expectations had been a reason for unease. Generally speaking, I was quite patient and focused on the long term, as Petra had rightly pointed out. But of course, I was also impatient for my training to finally get underway. I think that’s understandable, right?

Petra reached for her cell phone again, and my pussy sent a jolt through my body in anticipation of another glimpse of Julia ... of the other toy. Another glimpse into my future. But to my surprise and disappointment – I can’t deny it – Petra settled in on the sofa and started a phone call. Her legs were now fully in my line of sight, but that was only a small consolation for being neglected.

“No, that’s not what I said. I said we’re optimizing the operating model, not restructuring the business. Those are two very different messages, especially from an investor-relations perspective.”

Oh, no! A business call. Even on a Saturday? Even with a toy ready to play with right in front of her and another one in the basement? I almost let out a sigh.

“No, because Finance will push back on the CapEx allocation if Procurement hasn’t finalized the vendor framework. We need sequencing, not speed. Also, keep Compliance in the loop, but don’t make them the bottleneck. If they see the final package instead of every working draft, we’ll save ourselves three weeks.”

I’ve always found it hard to tune out a conversation taking place within earshot, even if it didn’t interest me at all. Or if I wasn’t actually supposed to be listening. That phone call was none of my business. Not to mention that I could barely understand what Petra was talking about.

“Great! But have them rerun the sensitivity analysis with the revised logistics costs. I want best-case, expected-case, and downside scenarios on my desk on Tuesday.”

It went on like that for at least half an hour, even when I considered that, to me, time was crawling by while I was being so blatantly and matter-of-factly ignored.

“Yes, thank you. See you on Monday, then.”

Finally, the phone call – which had seemed to go on forever – came to an end.

“Yes, I will call Sales next. Have a great weekend!”

No, no, no! Not another call like that. I think I actually sighed this time, because Petra looked up and smiled at me. Yes, she was smiling, but this time with a slightly sadistic look. But maybe I was just imagining that.

“They need to understand that feature completeness is not the KPI. … Right. … Has IT completed the cybersecurity audit? … Good. … Then we can move forward with the cloud migration. But I don’t want optimistic recovery-time estimates that haven’t been tested.”

I finally managed to tune out the conversation. No wonder Petra made so much money. Judging by her tone and demeanor, she was firmly in control. I was certainly proud of my work and my degree, but Petra was in a league of her own. I felt small next to her, in that regard as well. That was fine; after all, I liked the feeling of inferiority, especially when it was objectively justified.

I also realized that my impatience was misplaced. The idea of spending the weekend more or less nonstop shackled in a cell with almost no contact, turned me on incredibly, but having to wait here for a comparatively short time left me dissatisfied? This didn’t add up.

My misplaced impatience stemmed from misplaced expectations. In fact, I realized my training had actually begun, and patience in the face of being ignored was the first – perhaps the most important – lesson.

So, I began to concentrate on holding the assigned position and focused on the small charcoal drawing on the wall behind Petra. I started to think that was exactly the point of the drawing: to give the little dolls a point to focus on while they waited for their owner to start playing. My pussy begun buzzing again. The first lesson at least had started to take hold.