23
"I think I'm getting worse," Susan said.
"Why do you say that?" Dr. Alberts asked.
"My god, don't you understand what I've been telling you? I really
thought he would do it. I really thought he was going to leave me tied up like
that--just leave me there, helpless, for Tom to find me when he got home. And if
he did--well, my whole life would be over. I mean Tom would divorce me--if he
didn't kill me first. He'd throw me out, I'd have no place to go... Don't you
see, I knew all that, I KNEW it. And still I had to have him. I couldn't say,
No, go away--I HAD to have him...fuck me. To hurt me more. Right then. Even if
it meant my life!"
"Could it be," Dr. Alberts said, "that subconsciously you WANT your
husband to find out about you? To discover your needs?"
"God, no. I told you, he'd throw me out so fast--"
"Perhaps on some level you resent your husband and would like to have
your marriage destroyed."
"No!" Susan shook her head despairingly. "I love Tom. You know I do.
He's--our marriage is the most precious thing on earth to me. Don't you
see--that's why it's so horrible. When Jerry starts in on me, nothing can stand
up to that need. Nothing!"
"Susan--"
"And my god, there's no help for it! I mean I've been coming to you for
six months now, and we've talked and talked about it, and you tell me I'm
getting better, and it's...well, it's bullshit, that's what it is!"
"Susan, please..."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Doctor. But--but I don't know what to do any
more. It's...it's not just Jerry, you know. He just knows how to push the
buttons by now. But it's me that's the problem. Jesus, even that disgusting
janitor got to me. He just--he just had to--" Susan began to cry.
Dr. Alberts placed a box of kleenex on the arm of her chair. With a
sudden violent movement, she knocked it to the floor.
"Oh stop it!" she sobbed. "Stop being the wise, all-knowing healer, for
god's sake! You can't heal me. Jerry is right, I'm a slut. A filthy, lousy
whore. No, worse. I don't even do it for money. Anybody can have me for
nothing--all they have to do is push the button. Just give old Sal a little
pain, and she turns on. Just make her crawl a little, she loves it! She'll do
anything you want. Christ, you wouldn't BELIEVE what she'll--"
"Susan, if you'll just--"
"No, I won't just! Oh god, you're so calm and superior, aren't you?
Don't YOU ever get turned on? Don't YOU ever lose control? Hell, you could have
me, too. Sure! You're a man, aren't you? and you know all about me. All you'd
have to do--"
"Look, I really think--"
"Oh, shut up, Doctor! You don't know what you're talking about. And god
knows I don't. Don't you like me? Don't you think I'm good-looking? I have a
nice figure, right? Good breasts. Good--"
"Susan, you're a very attractive woman. But why don't--"
"Well? Then why shouldn't you take me? All you'd have to do is hurt me a
little. You know that. Twist my arm, pull my hair. Slap me. Whatever. Doesn't
that turn you on, Doctor? Doesn't it excite you to know I'd be putty in your
hands? Nothing but a toy--a plaything. A slave. You could make me do anything
you could think of. You could--"
"You're hysterical, Susan. Stop it now."
"Come on, Doctor. Slap me. Isn't that what you do with hysterical
people? It's a great excuse. Go ahead, slap me. You could have me sucking your
cock in no time. Go ahead, damn you! Go ahead!"
"I think our time is up now," Dr. Alberts said, looking at his watch.
"I'll see you next--"
"Oh, you bastard!" Susan moaned, her voice suddenly breaking. "You're so
saintly, aren't you? I'm just dirt to you. Well, you're right, I am dirt. But--"
She stood up suddenly. "But look, Doctor!"
With a quick movement, she grasped the hem of her blue slipover top with
both hands and pulled it up over her head and off. Before Dr. Alberts could
react, she had droopped it on the floor and was unfastening her brassiere, which
she also pulled off and dropped.
"How about it, Doctor?" Her voice was strong again, but she was
trembling now. "Take a good look. That's not dirt, is it? And that's not all..."
Her hands went to her skirt, and it fell around her feet, leaving her naked
except for the panties and shoes.
But now Dr. Alberts was out of his chair and walking away from her
toward his desk. "Susan! Stop this right now. Get dressed immediately, or I'll
call in the receptionist."
"You son of a bitch," Susan whispered; and then she suddenly shrieked at
the top of her lungs, "You son of a BITCH!" And she ran at him with all her
strength, her hands coming up to claw at his face.
"Susan!" The doctor turned and, seeing her coming at him, got his own
hands up just in time to defend himself. Instinctively he grabbed her wrists and
forced her arms down. She struggled to get loose, and he twisted them back
behind her. "Susan! For god's sake--"
But Susan had suddenly stopped struggling. "Yes," she gasped. "Oh,
yes..." Her body slumped against him. Her breathing was audible. "Harder," she
panted. "Twist harder."
Alberts didn't move. "No, Susan," he said. "You mustn't. No." But he
didn't move.
"Please," Susan breathed. Her bare breasts were flattened against his
chest, her hips pushing into his. Her face was raised to him, her mouth open and
quivering. "Harder..." she whimpered.
"Oh, damn you," Alberts said hoarsely. "Damn you!"
And he twisted her wrists very hard indeed.
Susan cried out her joy in the flooding pain. Her body writhed into the
doctor's, and with an inarticulate sound he mashed his mouth down on hers. They
kissed passionately, while he still kept her arms twisted in his painful grasp.
They gasped and moaned as the savage kiss went on, their bodies squirming to get
impossibly closer to each other.
After a time he pushed her away from him and stepped back, his body
trembling, his hands clenching and unclenching as he made a last effort to
control himself. But he couldn't take his eyes off the panting, moaning, nearly
naked woman.
"Oh god," he rasped finally. "You bitch. You little bitch."
"Yes," she groaned. "I'm a bitch. Hit me."
He hit her.
The open-handed blow landed on the side of her face, and she went down.
He fell on top of her.
In a blind fury of lust he managed to pull her panties off and to yank
down his zipper. There wasn't time for any more. Then he was at her and pushing
into her, bearing down on her as her legs spread wide and then clamped around
him. Her loins rose eagerly to welcome him deeper into her cunt, and then went
into a wildly erratic pumping as he began to slam his hips brutally up and down,
the rest of his body crushing her beneath his weight.
"Aaahh! Aaahh! Yeesss!! Fuck me!" she cried. "Hurt me! Oohh god...More!
Hurt me more!"
He slammed his mouth down on hers again, and at the same time he brought
his hands to her head, grabbing two fistfuls of her soft brown hair and pulling
hard.
She screamed into his mouth and her body spasmed out of control as she
came. The pressure on her hair pulled her head back, tearing their mouths apart.
She shrieked again as a second climax smashed through her on the heels of the
first. Alberts groaned and battened still harder at her arching, squirming,
bucking body until he too lost control, gave a hoarse cry and shot jet after jet
deep into her eager, writhing pussy.
Dr. Alberts rolled off her after a while. They lay there catching their
breath. Then he said, "Susan...I-I'm sorry."
"Why?" Susan said. "It was my idea. Anyway, it was the best therapy
you've given me yet."
Then she turned over and began to sob into the rug.