Fleur IV: Amsterdam

The short break allowed Fleur to smoke a cigarette and go to the bathroom. When they reconvened in his office for the next part of the interview, professor Van Hovens returned to a trail that he wanted to pick back up:

“So you were saying earlier that there was one specific event when you were experimenting with sex in Amsterdam that kickstarted all the activities we categorized as ‘hard’? Could you describe what happened at this event?”

Fleur slid down into a comfortable position on the couch and started her recollection of the events.

“There was this party at some older lady’s house. I watched this one dominant guy I had seen a couple times before and he intrigued me. I was chasing him, cause he was always with this submissive skinny blonde girl and this night she was nowhere to be seen, but he was busy going from room to room watching other people play. He would only stay for five minutes in a room and then head back to this space marked ‘red room’, checking it before continuing to the next room. I had lost Megan along the way at that point, but I had figured out his pattern. After he left the red room, I snuck in. It was a small, dark room with only a single light bulb hanging over a square platform in the middle of the space. Every surface was covered with red leather there. Even the light was red. There was no one in there, but there was some stuff on the platform: this red leather body harness, four individual cuffs, a ball gag, wide red leather collar and some matching shiny shoes with ridiculously high stiletto heels.”

Fleur felt like she was getting a little off track, but saw that the professor was still intently listening to her and writing along on his pad, so she continued her detailed memory.

“I decided to be bold and stripped out of my skimpy latex wear and I put on the shoes, harness, cuffs, wide collar and gag. The shoes were too small for me and I was on my knees having some trouble tightening the straps on the harness and collar, when all of a sudden a woman walked in. I froze. I had expected this guy to come back, but he wasn’t there.”

Fleur’s mind wandered back to that fateful night. She clearly remembered this event. Images flashed through her head of the party she was describing. The trouble she went through when she hastily stripped and put on the red leather harness. She remembered the four individual red leather cuffs that she put on her wrists and ankles. They were padded with soft leather on the inside, cold to the touch like the hand of someone who just came in to the house after a winter morning stroll.

She remembered how she was puzzled for a few moments, figuring out what the front and back sides of the harness were. The collar of the harness helped; two straps ran down diagonally from it on the front side, only one on the back. She was able to close and tighten the waist strap and immediately figured out how the triangles of straps were supposed to fall along the sides of her breasts. All straps were held together by metal rings, the biggest one of them keeping four straps in place right between her breasts.

The harness was tight, with the straps biting into her skin and compressing her breasts from three sides, making them bulge a little like they were being grabbed from behind by big hands. Each strap had a clasp and pin that she could have used to loosen it, but she was in a hurry and she opted to try and get the whole outfit on before the guy would come back to check on the room.
The second part of the harness, the bottom, fortunately was a lot easier to figure out. It had one waist strap that fit like a glove and garter-style straps running down, which ran down to what Fleur had later learned was a ‘leg cage’ style of harness with four straps on the left and three on the right. They were easy enough to step into and she pulled them up until they fit around her thighs.

The professor returned with another glass of water and installed himself ever so slowly across from Fleur, who continued her recollection of events once he started the voice recorder again: “Here I was, wearing only the thin leather strips of this tiny harness. The woman was in her late forties, fully dressed in black leather, and said something along the lines of ‘Ha, you’re finally here, we’ve been waiting a while’ and she walked up to me and tightened all of the straps that I hadn’t been able to fully pull myself. I had the gag in my mouth, so I couldn’t say anything back to her. She was way too rushed to pay attention anyway. Before I knew it, she’d strapped my arms behind my back. Turned out some straps that I didn’t know what they were for, were meant to hold my arms tightly behind my back with straps around my wrists, forearms, elbows and upper arms. As she tightened my arms together behind my back, the straps around my tits dug deeper into my skin because my chest was pushed more up and out. So now I was completely immobilized on my knees and the woman picked up this this long leash from one of the walls, clicked it to the ring on my wide collar and commanded me to follow her.”

Fleur paused to sip the remaining water from her glass. As she paused, professor Van Hovens waited a few moments before encouraging her to continue. She beat him to the interruption, asking if she was getting too much off track.

“It’s fine,” her reassured her, “Please continue. Detailed recollections like these do aid me in my profile. I will stop you whenever I think we’re getting nothing of use. Can I get you some more water?”

Fleur nodded and the professor paused his recorder and put down his writing pad, before he got up to refill Fleur’s glass.
Fleur thought of the short walk she made to the second floor. Only two flights of stairs, but at the time it felt like an eternity with all the nervous energy shooting through her body and the people watching her as she was led to a closed-off area of the house. When the professor was back in his seat, she continued.

“So this woman led me through the hallway and up two flights of stairs. I remember people staring at me. These shoes were so uncomfortable I barely made it. Only when I was at the second floor did I realize that the area she had taken me to was off-limits for the regular party guests downstairs. We went through a door that was guarded by someone to keep uninvited people out. Then we entered a small hallway, where a tall, muscular man was apparently waiting. He was also in a rush. ‘Finally,’ he said, ‘tell Yves to get his girls ready on time from now on,’ something like that. Then he freaked out and stopped us before we could go into the next room. ‘Look at her tits! She’s not ready,’ he shouted. Before I knew it, he went into the next, room, returned, handed some stuff to the woman who brought me up and grabbed me by my neck and pushed and held me against the wall.”

Fleur paused for another moment.

“I panicked enough to not even know what they were doing, until I felt like my right nipple was on fire. The woman fiddled around and then I felt the same with my other nipple. Apparently, they expected my tits to be ringed, so the woman performed the piercings right on the spot. The rings didn’t even go through my nipples either, but rather behind them, through my areolas. They were pretty thick. I later found out they were 4g when I had them removed. From there I was dragged into the next room. It wasn’t extremely big, but large enough to accommodate about twenty people in chairs and couches around two platforms in the center of the room. I received twenty strokes on my ass and ten on my tits with a plastic cane for being late. They had me drooling and in tears before I even got onto my platform. Once there, I saw a woman on the other platform. She was harnessed exactly like me, but looked to me like she was in her thirties. Her tits were much bigger than mine and her body looked good, even though it was nowhere near as slim and toned as mine. The other people there were all at least her age or older. As soon as I was on the platform. they started playing games.”

“What kind of games?”

“They made us do little sex contests, like they had these benches with four dildos bolted on them, from small to huge. And we had to rub the drool from our ball gags over them and then squat over them and go from one to the other, only moving forward when they disappeared in our pussies, trying to race each other. I kept up for quite a while, only being one dildo behind until the second round started: anal. I’d had enough anal sex before to manage the first two dildos, which were about 6 and 9 inches long, but it took me a while to fully sit down on the second one. By the time I was halfway down the third, which was about two times as thick as the first and four inches longer, the woman had already finished and was sitting down on number four, this 12 inch monster. She was clearly a pro at this and as a reward, she was allowed to pick her choice from a board with nine punishments for me. She picked alligator clamps for my nipples and pussy lips and I was glad to get off easy, that was at least something I’d had experienced and enjoyed before. What I didn’t know yet, is that every punishment, whatever it was, was followed by another 10 strokes with the plastic cane. These went on my thighs. Immediately afterward, music started playing in the background and the woman and I were freed from our arm bondage and made to kneel on all fours for the party guests to examine. Men and women alike came over to fondle us, but no one spoke a word. Several people tugged on the chains that ran between the alligator clamps on my nipples and pussy lips, others hooked their fingers through the big rings through my areoles and tugged on them. At some point the music stopped.”

Fleur took another sip of her drink and watched the professor as he continued making notes. When he paused, she continued:
“When the music stopped, a woman came up to me and rubbed a gloved finger over my chin and gagged mouth, collecting saliva before she pressed the same finger in my asshole and fucked it slowly in and out. Other people stayed around and kept fondling my body while she slowly started fucking my ass with her folded hand. Even though it felt like it, I don’t think it fully went in at that time, but after a few minutes, she filled me up with a fairly big butt plug. The same had been done with my competitor and we both received ten strokes with the plastic cane on our plugged asses before we were ordered on our knees for game round two, which was blowjobs. That was finally something I was excellent at. The ball gag was taken away and I finished four men off before the other woman was even done with her second. The fourth only counted as the third, because the actual third ejaculated when his dick was halfway down my throat and I couldn’t show his cum as proof. We weren’t allowed to use our hands, so I was glad my tongue is so long and that I’d learned to properly use it. As punishment I gave her the same she had given me after the first round. She also received the strokes with the cane and we were once more ordered on all fours for more fondling when the music started again.”

Another pause. Van Hovens looked up after a few seconds and it prompted Fleur to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not sure I will be able to tell everything in the right order from here on out. You see, I was very scared up until this point.”

“That’s understandable,” the professor replied. “It was quite something that you had been thrown into without any preparation or warning. It must have been scary.”

“That wasn’t it, though,” Fleur said. “I had been afraid that someone would find me out or recognize that I wasn’t the girl who was supposed to be there. But no one said anything and when I won that round, it kind of relaxed me and gave me courage; I had watched and enjoyed a lot of hard S&M videos that went much further than I had ever gone myself, but that was more because I had no one to act them out with. Not because I was too scared to try what was done in them. Being there with total strangers who kind of expected me to do or undergo all those things, turned me on immensely.”

“You’re already getting to the ‘why’ of that event,” Van Hovens noted. “So you’re saying you got aroused, because the situation had already created expectations for you, some kind of reputation?”

“Something like that.”

“I wrote it down. We’ll get back to that later. Please continue the description of the event from the point where you felt more relaxed. Don’t worry too much about the exact order of events if you are unsure.”

“So yeah, I had won the blowjob round and no one acted weird or asked questions. I got the idea that they had no clue that probably someone else was supposed to be there. I hadn’t seen anyone I knew either. So that gave me a sense of freedom to just go with the flow and I was equally scared and excited when they brought out a metal frame. I believe those things are called a ‘pillory’? Anyway, those things with locks for your head and wrists. The frame went where the benches with dildos were before and the woman’s ankles were spread and cuffed and she was bent forward over a small beam before her head and hands went down on a horizontal bar made out of wood with indentations and another part was put on from above, locking her neck and wrists in place.”
“While they strapped the woman in there, I was told to squat on my platform. They adjusted and tightened the clamps on my nipples and labia. The chain on the ones on my nipples was pulled under and over my waist strap so there was a constant pull on my nipples. They got an entire set of new clamps and they used two sets to clamp my pussy lips while the other end was tied to my ankle cuffs, so I was tugging on my own pussy whenever I moved too much in the squatting position. With my nipples and pussy lips stretched like that, I had to hold up two trays with two metal cups of water each on them. Then they started gang banging the woman in the pillory for as long as I could keep the cups on the trays. After just having me sit and balance for a little bit, two guys started taking turns fucking my face and pulling my hair while a woman used a riding crop between my stretched pussy lips.”

Van Hovens nodded and Fleur continued her story.

“Of course, I dropped the water after a while. Then we had to switch places while the people did the same. I didn’t see if the same was done to her, but they took the butt plug out of me and the gang bang was basically anal only. The woman lasted much longer than me with the trays, so I received not only more cocks in my sore ass, but also another ten strokes on my tits with the plastic cane. They started to bruise pretty badly at that point, but I just wanted more and they certainly didn’t go easy on me. After that, they took off the alligator clamps and I received four needles in each nipple. Not through, but straight in from the front, with their colored caps pressed against my nipples. The mistress used the tip of a riding crop to make sure they were all completely pushed in. Then she put the alligator clamps back on and it was time for more sex games. Do you want to hear them all?”

“Just tell me how it ended.”

“Surprise: I didn’t win. Since the other woman was the winner of the evening, all men congratulated her by jerking off or having her suck them off and then spraying their cum on her face and body, anywhere they liked, really. When she had received all the cum in and on her, she was hung by her wrists from a St. Andrew’s cross in the back of the room and I had to lick all the cum off of her and swallow it while some people watched and others fucked, it was like one big orgy.”

“Do you look back on all of it fondly?”

“I am very happy where I am now, and that was one of the first steps. I started becoming ‘Fleur’ - which is actually my middle name - from that night on, so yeah,” Fleur replied. “It opened a lot of doors for me.”

“How so?”

“When I was done, I was approached by a man and a woman who complimented me on my performance. I was still shaking from the events, on my side on one of the couches in a small room next to the main play area, cause my ass hurt too much to sit down on it. The man had a job offer for me. Easy money, bondage and S&M video productions with distribution only far away in North America and Asia. He gave me his business card and left. When he was gone, the woman wanted to know how I got in, that she knew I wasn’t supposed to be there, but that she didn’t stop me or say anything because she liked what she saw. She gave me a card with a phone number on it that I should call in case I wanted to return the next time they’d get together a few weeks later."

“I assume you did?”

“Of course. I called both of them the next day.”

“And did you return to the next party?”

“Yeah. It was more of the same that I just described.”

“And did you do the proposed video productions as well?”

“Yeah, but they were a little different than he had described to me. The first was easy money for sure, just me in rope bondage, gagged, fondled and lightly whipped by another girl dressed up like a mistress. Immediately after that, the offer came to do boy-girl stuff for more money. I did two scenes in one weekend with several old men, no offense. They must have been in their sixties and they definitely did not keep in shape. Turns out there is this whole scene of porn aimed at girls being used by grandpas. While I am attracted to older men, that was not my thing at all, so I refused to do more and then they offered me double the pay for more heavy S&M stuff, starting with me being the mistress in some Femdom stuff.”

“Did you need the money? Didn’t you say your bank account was well-stocked?”

“I didn’t ‘need’ it per se, but it was nice to have a little extra, cause I was spending most of it on cigarettes and an increasing amount on drugs. So I tried it and it was not my thing to be on top. Looking back, I don’t even understand why I thought I could do it properly. Even though those guys were happy and satisfied, it totally didn’t work for me. I cringe now when I see those videos. Thank god I was credited with all kinds of fake names on those.”

“Is this the time you started going overboard with drugs?” Van Hovens wanted to know.

“At that time I was not yet doing an excessive amount of drugs. I felt like I was still in control of my use. But then again, I would have said the same if you’d asked me a year later,” Fleur laughed. “But I guess it was still relatively under control.”
“And that changed?”

“Yeah, when I lived with Megan, things got a little out of hand. I had no appearance to keep up anymore. I had no-one around who would raise their eyebrows because of rope marks, bruises or worse. No college friends that I needed to get up early for. It led me to seek out more extreme play partners and spaces myself. There was no accidental getting into situations anymore, it was quite deliberate. At some point, one of Megan’s friends taught us how to slam meth. Before long, I had my own kit. One gram of meth cost around 150 euros then. I had my bank account as well as the money from the videos and we were looking for ways to play longer and more extreme and the drugs just helped.”

“How so?”

“Crystal meth makes you so fucking horny. First you start to feel warm, then you feel it wake up your hands, feet, head and then your pussy, ass and tits feel like they’re glowing. It makes you lose track of time. We used to do sex and play sessions of 12 to 16 hours starting on Friday nights. Megan took me to S&M clubs where a lot of people played. We’d get high as a kite and we roamed the seediest parties playing mistress and slave girl, often ending up at someone’s home at the end of two nights of debauchery. Sundays were always the hardest with detox and all. Of course, everyone I encountered was eager to indulge a pretty, young and skinny thing on her quest to become the biggest S&M slut of the weekend.”

Van Hovens kept writing and writing as the young woman in front of him kept talking about her experiences in the bdsm scene.
“Please continue,” he encouraged her.

“So, Megan and I slowly started drifting apart. It took her a few weeks to admit to me that she was in love with me and had been ever since she met me. She said she was confused because we’d have awesome sex at home but I always ended up somewhere else away from her at the S&M parties. She knew I was always looking for the most dominant man with the largest cock in the house, trying to be the girl he would fuck hardest, deepest and longest that night. And she had put up with it, cause she knew I’d be going home with her at the end of the night.”

“And you stopped doing that?”

“Yeah, I changed my performance name to Fleur and started seeking out more pain play instead of the fetish and bondage and discipline stuff and I knew she wasn’t too big on that. It was a totally different crowd, but they were eager to embrace me and my enthusiasm. I dove headfirst into the more extreme stuff.”

“When you say ‘pain play’ and ‘more extreme stuff’, what do you mean exactly? Can you give me some examples of activities you started to engage in that you hadn’t previously?”

“Sure, um, it wasn’t just pain play that came my way when I sought it out. It was like going from a little box to a bigger box, if that makes sense… there were definitely more things aimed at pain than at sex, like play piercings, heavy whipping with the intent of leaving marks, clamps and weights, knife play, hot wax and oil, double fisting, both vaginal and anal, that kind of stuff. But with it came other things, like all kinds of suspension, breath play, devices to keep your mouth, pussy or ass open, increasingly bigger dildo’s, those kinds of things. Not to mention a totally different level of degradation.”

“I didn’t want to just assume that they were things that were in the ‘hard’ or ‘extreme’ categories of the survey, and I would like to take care in documenting the evolution as well as I can.”

“No problem,” Fleur replied.

“Can you elaborate a little on the degradation aspect? How did that differ from before?”

“I guess it surprised me how much more physical it was. Instead of getting a command of going on your knees to lick boots or kiss a whip, there was a lot of face slapping or even punching involved. Getting stepped on my head or breasts to pin me down or getting kicked in the tits or pussy with heavy boots was something I had never experienced before. Also, a lot more ass licking, ass to mouth fucking, more exchange of body fluids. Instead of pissing on someone, it became pissing into someone. It all felt more physical to me than mental.”

Fleur paused for a moment, eventually adding: “I have to say, though, that degradation methods differ immensely from crowd to crowd and from person to person.”

“Do you have a personal preference?”

“Yeah, I definitely do.”

“Could you describe it for me?”

“When I’m the only masochist in a scene, I immensely enjoy a dominant who will roughly and forcefully physically expose and use my body to either the audience or camera, showing beyond any doubt that they have no regard for my body, feelings or desires. And when I’m in a scene with other masochists, I really get off on clearly being used as the lowest whore on the totem pole. And then ramp it up with some filth play like body fluids. I have yet to do heavy blood play with anyone other than my ex-boyfriend and current girlfriend and have only recently started training in full toilet service, my new mistress is really into that. She’s also into actual body modification like cuttings and into slicing and stabbing with sharps, which she is training me also for now. She says she has plans and fantasies of removal of parts of skin and tissue, which is not something we have gone to so far. Other than that, I think I’ve pretty much checked all the boxes.”

“Are you mentioning those, because you have a desire to check those last few boxes?”

“I guess it’s up to whoever plays with me. If I feel confident enough to enter into a no limits scene with them, I guess they could make me do anything they wanted.”

“By the sound of that, it would appear that you actually mean giving your body up to someone to do with as they please without any rules or hard limits.”

“When I say no limits scene, that is indeed what I mean.”

Fleur’s mind wandered to the plans she was currently making with Dominika. It looked like a groundbreaking no-limits session was really getting put together with the help of some of her new Mistress’ friends. It still equally scared and excited her, because as the plans solidified more and more, it became apparent that the people involved were the sickest and most sadistic minds that Fleur had ever encountered. There were plans to turn the whole thing into a 24-hour double torture marathon with another masochist and different sadists taking turns working on their bodies, increasing the intensity with every switch and the only end goal being to inflict as much pain as possible and leave the girls permanently marked with a memento from every dominant.

The professor looked up from his writing pad and saw on Fleur’s face that her mind had drifted off in a daydream. He circled the words ‘no limits scene’ on his writing pad and put an exclamation mark next to it. He didn’t want to go deeper on that subject yet, but it would definitely come back later in the interview session. Instead of pursuing this subject now, he chose to take another short break.