Pony Renaissance

“More toast?”

Tempting, very tempting, I eyed the polished silver rack Sally pushed towards me. The bread was freshly baked and delicious; indeed, it almost seemed a crime for someone to have toasted it. I eyed my empty breakfast plate with a slight twinge of guilt. A couple of cups of instant coffee at home, occasionally supplemented by a bowl of cereal or muesli, usually fuelled my start to the day.  Two thick rashers of bacon, a fat Cumberland sausage, fried egg, hash browns and grilled mushrooms had been far too tempting. 

I hesitated. I’d also be reaching for the butter dish if I had more toast, wouldn’t I? On the one hand, It wasn’t as though I needed to diet, more the opposite, but I knew it would be greed rather than hunger or need that drove my surrender. On the other hand, I desired to maintain my slim, petite, lightweight frame and even shed another couple of pounds if possible. 

No, I wasn’t some delirious teenage anorexic bone-thin waif looking in a mirror and ignoring reality in favour of seeing excess fat that didn’t exist! Nor was I an iron-pumping, step counting zealous dieting health freak. No, it was something completely different. The loss of a few more pounds would not affect me in the least, but it would perhaps add a little extra to the mileage I’d get out of my superb ponygirl once mounted upon her!.  

I sighed and declined the enticing toast making a mental note to stick to a single croissant like Sally on the morrow. “No, better not. That was a lovely change, but if I do that every day poor Beauty won’t even make it out of the stable!”

Sally threw her head back and gave that light tinkling girlish laugh that I found so delightful. I found everything about this tiny yet perfectly formed woman enchanting, and I was glad my hosts were away for a couple of days so that I had her all to myself. Sally had seated herself opposite me on a chair that matched the rest of the dining set save for being much taller. I noted that it discreetly elevated her in a dignified way rather than demeaning her like an adult in a child’s high-chair!

“Oh, I don’t think you will have any problems,” Sally said as she pulled the toast rack back to her side of the long rectangular table, also contemplated it for a second, then made the same decision as me.  “Motivating the beasts is not terribly difficult, not if you have a whip!” she winked at me and giggled and, just for a brief charming moment, did look remarkably like a wickedly precocious little girl!

I had arrived the evening before and not entirely in the best frame of mind. I was tired, a touch disorientated, even confused by the speed of recent events, apprehensive about what was going on back home and uncertain of the immediate future. That wasn’t even considering all the mysterious hints one Mrs Amanda Montague-Smythe had so casually been throwing about!  Verbal confetti and with about as much substance when I tried to pin her down as to specifics.   

I’d only found out that Mandy and Bob wouldn’t even be there for a few days when they dropped the horsebox off at my place lunchtime; even then, they were hours late in arriving, and I was knee-deep in builders by then. Well, okay, three plus Tony!  Change of plans Mandy had said so breezily without so much as an apology for her late arrival while waving to Tony and a few others she obviously recognised from the gang busily unloading a ton of stuff off a small truck.

“Change of plan. Need to be elsewhere, Honey. Unavoidable, we can’t get out of it, but Sally has taken time off work, so she’ll be there to look after you, likewise Sarah and the girls. Don’t look so worried, pet; it will all be perfectly fine.”

I tried to get some information out of her, but all she did was flash her gleaming white teeth at me and wave me off. “No time, no time, honey. Let us get you and your pets on the road and out from under these guys feet and then we can have a nice long chat in a couple of days, come on now”.

Bob wasn’t much better merely making a big fuss as to how delighted he was to see me again and echoing his wife’s reassuring, ‘don’t panic’ mantra before rushing off to discuss something with Tony and another guy. I wasn’t at all reassured and would have chased straight after him, but Mandy had hold of my arm, dragging me towards her big Range Rover or rather the dirty grey horsebox attached behind the vehicle.

Less than thirty minutes later, seething with both pent-up indignation and mounting irritation, I followed the uncommunicative pair down my drive and out of the gateway onto the road. They turned sharp left, quickly accelerating out of sight away while I went right with extreme caution and very gently put my foot down, conscious of the big grey object bouncing along behind me!

Just what the hell was I doing? I had no idea. Mrs Mandy bloody Montague-Smythe had in a very short space of time totally turned my life not just upside down but had spun it round and round so fast in the process that I was mentally dizzy! The wretched woman seemed to be adept at…what could I call it? Adept at a sort of verbal hypnosis. None of this look deep into my eyes crap, more a case of listen to my voice and obey, and I had almost in a numb trance!

I was driving my new (another insisted upon suggestion!), German diesel hatchback. ‘No, no, no, darling. You can’t possibly use that rusty little thing of yours to tow a horsebox; no, why not get yourself what I suggested. I know the Regional Sales Director and Bob will see you get a good deal! We can tow your Beauty this time, but I am sure there will be other occasions when you want to move her around!’

So much for them towing Beauty this time, I thought! Here I was in a brand-new car that I’d driven precisely twice. Once back from the dealers and one cautious trip a couple of miles down the road to the village post office and back. I cast a worried look at the sky, thinking I didn’t even know how to turn the bloody wipers on, let alone most of the other stuff. The bloody dashboard and steering column bristled, with an array of knobs, levers and switches! 

Because of Mandy and whatever crazy scheme she was cooking up, I was driving a strange car down a narrow winding country road and towing a bloody trailer for the first time in my life! A trailer incidentally that contained a pair of live human animals held captive totally against their will! Thus I reflected grimly, guaranteeing me a long, a very long stretch in one or her majesties more secure penal institutions should any members of her local constabulary become unduly curious! 

I could add a large dollop of apprehension to the seething mix of resentment and irritation as my eyes continually flickered via the rear-view mirror to the swaying object I was towing. Thank God Bob had the foresight to phone and ask me for my new number plate so that he could get one made up for the horsebox, for I’d never have thought about that. I looked at the glowing digital number on the speedo, a new novelty after needles and dials, and cautiously accelerated, realising that crawling nervously along at the speed I’d been doing was likely to attract as much if not more attention than going too fast.

Rush, rush and bloody rush! I’d been running around like a mad thing seeing to Tony and his guys and checking up on stuff, and I might say being fobbed off with a stream of short unsatisfactory answers from all and sundry. Handing over your home plus virtually everything you owned to a bunch of strangers might have been an everyday occurrence for them, but it certainly wasn’t for me! Especially not when you considered the rather unique circumstances surrounding my lifestyle of late!

Mandy had led Beauty into the box and secured her while I’d been shooed away to go and fetch little Fluffy and Raven from the house. Hell, that short walk with my leashed puppy girl made me feel as though I was the one flaunting my naked private bits for all to see, and my face flamed red. I have to say that the relative indifference shown to both me and Mandy was somewhat reassuring. Maybe such odd sights were indeed all part of the days work for Tony's guys and him. They seemed more intent on making a fuss of my over-excited young German Shepherd than my other two more exotic pets! 

Not unexpectedly, Fluffy and Beauty acted with far less indifference at the sight of the strangers. You would have thought that by now, the foolish creatures would have realised that if they were being paraded in plain view so blatantly, then such optimism was doomed to disappointment! Hope springs eternal as they say, I suppose!

I saw Mandy delivering a series of heavy slaps as she manoeuvred my uncooperative pony into the box. Likewise, my right trainer kicked out a couple of times, providing similar encouragement to Fluffy, curbing that silly tendency to try and resist the tug on the leash she showed at the sight of our visitors. Unfortunately, the only sympathy they elicited from said folk were a couple of knowing grins, none of them at all sympathetic!

“No, stay, stay”, I shouted as Raven interrupted my train of thought. He was stretched across the rear seats because the luggage space at the back wasn’t all that generous, something I should have considered at the showroom! Then with bloody Mandy hassling me, it wasn’t the time to start working out how to lower the rear seats. I’ve never liked or gone in for big cars, and my purchase reflected that although the dealer had assured me that both vehicle and fitted towbar would be suitable for towing a horsebox. The last thing I needed at that moment was an attack from the rear by enthusiastic paws or a long wet tongue. 

I grinned to myself. Now there was a thought. I frequently made good use of another warm wet tongue but so far only at the front. Perhaps I should indulge myself with a new experience and give my puppy girl a taste of the rear, my rear. An entirely new sensation for both of us, I suspected and undoubtedly only to be pleasurable for one of us!

That mental image and other pleasurable thoughts lightened my mood and shortened the distance, seemingly till I hit the main road and, a short while later, the dual carriageway that would take me a good way towards my destination. Despite my misgivings and mixed other feelings, I could not help myself feeling a little excited at the prospect of not only revisiting Mandy’s exceptional place but, this time, staying for a lengthy period.

I kept glancing at the box behind the car, but it seemed to be behaving itself, and I was getting used to both it and my shiny new car. My confidence grew, and I no longer felt like a novice truck driver making his first trip with an articulated trailer!  I wondered how the two unwilling occupants restrained within were finding their unusual journey. Mandy had produced a couple of ring gags and handed one to me for Fluffy while she dealt with Beauty. ‘Don’t want them choking themselves to death on the journey. I always use these. Better up and out if they get too queasy and keeps them quiet at the same time, I take it you haven’t fed them recently as I told you?’

Were they feeling sick, I wondered? I’d been feeling a touch nauseous myself, what with all this sudden crazy hassle that seemed to have got totally out of control almost overnight! My control anyway! Nor had I had any breakfast, and last night’s dinner had been more light snack than anything substantial. Although I’m sure he would challenge that, the only one of us who had a full stomach had grown bored with chewing on the rear seat belts and settled down to sleep on the seats behind me!

I began to relax as the journey continued. I’d never had a new car before and was enjoying the sensation, that highly distinctive smell, the thrill of ownership, playing with all the new toys (new to me after my last cheap and cheerful third-hand basic model!). One eye on the road, half an eye on the trailer and half an eye discovering what did what on the dashboard! I wondered why on earth I hadn’t indulged myself before now. That box behind seemed to be very well behaved as well. My simple mind had assumed that I’d feel or sense some kind of a noticeable drag and that the steering would seem unduly heavy or funny, but to my relief, everything felt more or less normal! I began to feel a bit silly thinking back to how reticent I’d been about the idea of taking my ponygirl over to Mandy’s estate. Why it was no big deal, was it?

Now don’t get overconfident, girl, I told myself. I’d almost succumbed to the idea of pulling into a roadside burger place and having a late breakfast come lunch but withdrew my hand from the indicator at the last moment. No way I was going to try using the drive-thru with that thing behind me; would it even fit? Nor did the idea of leaving my two animals unattended in the car park for even a few minutes appeal either. Nope, I just had to put up with rumble tum till I arrived. 

I gave up fiddling with the CD player come radio thingy after a sudden lurch, and a distinct protesting wobble from the trailer told me to leave it for another time. Anyway, the damn device had an instruction manual thicker than the one covering the entire vehicle's operation and maintenance! Although to be fair, that included about a zillion other languages! A timely warning, I thought as I turned my attention fully back to the road and immediately cruised past a stationary police car perched on a unique little pull in behind a clump of bushes ready to pounce on the unwary or the illegal.

By the time I’d reached the turn off my mind had become a good deal less troubled. I could trust Mandy, even if she was driving me bonkers! I could also trust Tony to do everything we’d agreed upon that day on-site and by email and phone afterwards. Whatever was in the wind that Mandy childishly wanted to keep a secret was evidently going to be of benefit to me, so why worry! Plus, she was the one who’d lectured me about security, so if she wasn’t worried, why should I be?

I had a brand-new car, plus trailer towing wasn’t proving the horrendous experience that I’d imagined it would be. The more I thought about it, the more I knew I would enjoy the next few weeks as a guest, an honoured guest no less, at Mandy’s substantial estate. So why worry. I gave a big sigh because inwardly, I knew a part of me still would!

Sally was waiting for me outside the big house. My final worry hadn’t been as bad as I thought it might be. I’d opted to avoid that wretched farm track following the old brick wall along the supposed shortcut of my first visit. I suppose chicken of me, but I didn’t fancy towing the horsebox along that bumpy route and opted for the village road works instead. Thankfully in the intervening period, most of the ‘idle shovel leaners’ had got off their butts, filled in most of the holes they’d dug and decamped to make life miserable for motorists elsewhere.

Young Suzy was on gate duty at the entrance lodge and, after welcoming me most enthusiastically, insisted on accompanying me all the way up to the big house, this time in my own vehicle,  where I received a similar warm if a bit shyer welcome from the diminutive Sally. I didn’t even have to worry about parking the trailer. Going forward had been one thing, but at the back of my mind was the suspicion that manoeuvring it in the opposite direction might not be quite so straightforward.

I needn’t have worried, for Sarah, Mandy’s Head Girl, suddenly appeared and, after another warm wet lipped greeting, grabbed my key fob and said she’d deal with it. “Got a similar one to this myself, cheaper model though”, she laughed. “I’ll Park it and the trailer and deal with the occupants. Pony to the stable and your puppy to the kennel, all prepared, okay?”

“Let’s go inside; I’ll bet you are starving. Mandy phoned to say you’d left and hadn’t had any breakfast or lunch, silly girl! Leave things to Sarah,” Sally insisted. “Come on, bring your big doggie.  Get something warm inside you, and then if you want, you can visit your other pets afterwards. They’ll be perfectly alright, though. The girls know what they are doing.”

I hadn’t visited them afterwards, and now as I watched Sally fiddle indecisively with the toast rack before following my example, I did feel a teeny bit guilty. I knew that Sarah and her girls would have looked after them and probably far better than they were used to with me, still? Raven was nowhere to be seen. He’d found his way to the kitchen the previous evening and immediately made friends with the other Mrs Smythe and was probably now scoffing his second or third breakfast of the day, loyalty already forgotten in favour of an extended belly!

I must have been way more worked up about everything than I realised the previous evening. Sally served a simple but humongous dinner of delicious steak and kidney pie, creamy mashed potato and assorted green veg, followed by delicious apple pie and ice cream.  I was bushed, likewise, my unfaithful young hound. I found him snoring loudly, no doubt equally sated, curled up on a rug in the corner of the vast kitchen playing spoons with a huge shaggy malamute he’d evidently adopted as another new best friend!

I’d given way to a series of large yawns, offered my apologies to everyone and followed Sally to the bedroom they’d allocated. Someone, probably Sarah, had already brought up my luggage. The bed, needless to say, was huge and radiated an aura of instant oblivion to the occupants’ worldly problems. An offer that I was not at all slow in taking advantage of after divesting my clothes and with no preparations other than a quick pee in the immaculate ensuite facilities.

“Kennel or stable?” Sally asked, joining me in the hall. We’d both gone upstairs after breakfast to refresh, and Sally had also changed out of the simple wool dress she’d worn for breakfast. Absently I wondered if things were going to be ‘formal’? Was I going to be required to ‘dress for dinner, I wondered? Well, if so, people had better not get their expectations up, not when I considered the contents of my single modest suitcase and overnight bag. Surely not!

I thought the tiny woman looked so deliciously sweet and sexy when she came carefully down the grand curving staircase, taking her time for the treads were relatively high. She looked a peach in her black boots, tight jodhpurs and skinny ribbed fawn sweater. Height wise, she might be child-sized, but that clingy sweater told a different story.

“Bob keeps promising to get a lift installed”, she laughed.

I grinned back at her. “Not a bad idea. Those steps are deceptive, as I found out last night when I was feeling tired. You aim with one leg automatically and come up at least an inch too short!” Instinctively I held out a hand, and a warm small one immediately took it as we walked together towards the entrance, but I don’t think either of us regarded the action akin to that of mother and child!

“This way,” my diminutive host said, taking the lead. “Kennel first, I think. You didn’t see that last time, did you?”

“Uh hu” I shook my head and laughed. “To be honest, I didn’t see a whole lot. Mandy whizzed me about so quickly it all became a bit of a blur other than our outing with the pony carts and meeting you, of course.”

I felt my hand receive a light squeeze as she said. “Well, I felt a bit guilty about that afterwards. I owe you an apology for as I was a bit short as I recall”.

“Not really,” I told her. “I tend to be a bit silly at times and say the wrong things. Being verbally naive, my mother used to call it! How come those stairs are so high anyway. I’m not exactly tall either, and I noticed them as I went up last night?”

“This way, round the back here” Sally pulled on my arm. “Mandy says according to the local lore, the original owners were veritable giants according to village legend apparently.” She suddenly laughed. “They certainly would have been to me—all of them topping six feet and more. Bob is more down to earth. He says the house is old but hardly old enough for legends and reckons the builder bought the wrong sized wood and was too lazy or lacked the tools to cut them down. Take your pick. I’ll bet neither of them is correct, though!”

I looked about, wondering if I could see Raven anywhere, my disloyal hound. Sally said he’d had his breakfast and gone off with Mr Smythe and his new friend, Billy.”

“Billy?” I repeated for it seemed an odd name for a giant dog like that.

Sally grunted and rolled her eyes at me. “Short for Billy the Kidd! Mr Smythe is a Western fanatic. I gather their last dog was called Wyatt Earp and the one before that Jessie James!”

We were now behind the house, passing a neat grass tennis court surrounded by the traditional wire fencing. To the left the I saw a stepped terrace decorated with numerous plants in troughs and stone pots. None of your cheap garden centre ornamental plastic tub- here I thought. Next to the tennis court was another wire enclosure with a finer mesh comprising four long runs. They started outside a single-story old moss and ivy-covered stone building and ran towards the terrace. Next to that, the extensive lawns started broken here and there by flowerbed and what I took to be perhaps a rose garden complete with a fountain, of course at the far end. I was impressed by the scale and said as much.

“It’s beautiful and so immaculately kept. All of that must cost a fortune in grounds staff” I paused partly because somehow I could not envisage Mandy grubbing about in the flowerbeds on her hands and knees. As for gardeners, more staff would mean potentially more potential security problems, wouldn’t it?”

“Not really,” Sally said and then laughed. “Silly me, why did I bring you all the way around when we could have gone straight out of the back door?” She was standing with the tip of one finger in her mouth, her eyes wide, looking for all the world like an adorable child discovering something new for the first time. So sweet.

I grinned at her. “I probably needed the exercise. I had a lovely sleep, but that bed, so dammed soft, I needed to get some twinges walked off. I am a tad curious, though. Who does all this” I waved my hand toward the immaculate greensward with hardly a daisy or a dandelion in view? “Maintaining all that must be a full-time job for a work gang? I can’t see Mandy doing it, either!”

Sally giggled. “Not quite, but you’re right about Mandy. She loves the gardens, but I doubt if she’s ever so much as pulled up a single weed. Colin does most of it; he’s a natural green-fingered wonder and can do the work of three ordinary guys. Bob and I lend a hand with the mowing” She giggled again and winked. “Colin uses a ride on motor mower, but we prefer to it the old-fashioned way, of course, slow but fun!” she made a whip-cracking motion with one hand. 

“Ah, Samson and Hercules, no doubt!”

“Naturally, why have them standing around doing nothing when the animals can make themselves useful? We have several different sized cutters or rollers they can pull, some light, some heavier.  Bob tends to use the lighter ones with his pretty ponyboys, whereas I always use the big heavy ones.”

I smiled. “I suppose the lighter one is faster.”

Sally immediately scowled. “That hardly matters; the end result is the same, isn’t it?”

“Sorry”, I immediately apologised. My, I thought she is more than a little sensitive when her handling of those huge beasts is called into question. “I meant nothing by that, just a practical observation, that’s all. Just one guy, though?” I questioned surveying the vast area of impeccably maintained grounds.

Sally laughed that light tinkling laugh of hers, all sweetness and light again and pointed. “That’s Colin over there on that end lawn; let's walk over, and I’ll introduce you before we go see the doggies.” She frowned. “He’s a perfect sweetie pie despite his looks, but he can be a bit difficult at times”, she cautioned. “Colin is the son of Mr and Mrs Smythe; the housekeeper come cook. He is very wary of strangers and a bit, well, you’ll see. Come on” her small warm hand retook mine, and we strolled across the well-cropped grass hand in hand.

“Sounds like he got off lightly”, I observed dryly.

“How so?”

“Not being named Clint, or Duke or something along those lines!”

Sally instantly clapped her hand to her mouth and giggled through her dainty little fingers.

The bulky figure had his back to us busily engaged in raking up dry grass clippings. His hearing must have been very good or maybe his sixth sense, for he suddenly swivelled around though our feet were virtually soundless on the close-cropped turf. He dropped the large rake and rose to his impressive full height, arms hanging gorilla-like at his sides, a look of surprise, anger, and then finally recognition on his face, at least toward Sally. Far less so in the sullen, suspicious glance in my direction.

Gorilla like wasn’t quite an apt description; neanderthal would have been more appropriate. He was also built along the same lines as Samson and Hercules. Indeed they’d almost have made a matched threesome in terms of both build and truculent expressions. In his case, his face slowly relaxed and twisted into a feral variation of a welcoming smile towards Sally.

“Hiya, Colin, this is my friend” she’s going to be staying with us for a while, “say hello.”

To my relief, the expression in his eyes immediately changed from suspiciously hostile to old friend recognition, while his facial muscles made a valiant if vain effort to do likewise. An enormous grass-stained paw-like hand shot out for me to shake. 

“Lo” 

“Hello, Colin” surprisingly, my hand wasn’t crushed; his grip was much lighter than that of Sally’s hot little hand. I realised instinctively what Sally had meant by that ‘you’ll see’, likewise, why Colin wasn’t happy in the company of strangers. I gave him a beaming smile which caused those facial muscles of his to twitch again.  “I’m very impressed; it all looks so lovely” I gestured around. “You are doing an excellent job. It must be hard work keeping all this looking so, so immaculate”.

“She means nice”, Sally interjected and quickly ducked as the huge youth gently swung his hand over her head in a mock threat.

“Not stupid, know what she mean by maculate, little girl”, Colin grunted and winked at me. This time he was the one to wave his large hand, indicating his domain. “Not so big, I manage okay. Plenty to do, but I like it here. Mrs Monty very good lady, good boss. I like to be in the open, not locked up like back in prison” he finished with a bit of an angry snarl but mitigated that by finally producing something resembling a grin. He paused, screwing his face up in thought and looked at Sally. “Was’at thing she always ses about pet, I always forget it?”

Sally laughed. “Fringe benefits!”

Colin laughed with her. “Yeah, that’s them, that’s what Mrs Monty always calls em. He looked at me and the big clownish grin repeated. “I got them vringe benefits here like she say.”

Obviously, the uncomprehending expression on my face amused him further, for he roared with laughter switching seamlessly from ominous neanderthal caveman to jovial jolly green giant. Sally, slightly to my annoyance, joined in the merriment. Colin must have noticed my expression, for he took pity on me, put two large fingers to his mouth, and promptly threatened to destroy my hearing for the remainder of the day with the loudest and most penetrating whistle I’d ever heard.

“Colin!” Sally exclaimed, joining my visual protestations threatening to put her fingers in her ears. 

He ignored her, shrugged his immense shoulders, and brought his palms together in an ear-shattering clap that made the pair of us wince in unison, his attention being focused on something behind us. Someone I realised as I turned to look.

A strangely distorted figure with a large hump appeared from a gap in the boundary trees and hastened towards us with a queer bent over shuffling gait. Colin repeated that fearsome whistle but mercifully at a lower decibel level, then ruined the moment by bawling, “Git yer lazy butt over ere, bitch!” at full blast!

I watched the odd figure come nearer, realising that the hump wasn’t a physical disfigurement but a large tub-like basket, a wicker one strapped to a man’s back, a naked and heavily shackled man. A vague suspicion came into my mind to be immediately confirmed.

Fringe benefits,” Sally giggled. “What number is this one then, Colin, still three?”

Colin grunted and wiped his mouth with the back of one massive hand. “Nah, broke that. This un’s Vour. Not had it more’n a couple o’ months, but her’s a right lazy bitch and needs a deal of smacking to keep working hard!”

“Well, I expect that will change,” Sally assured him. “But you’ll have to start being a bit more careful with your toys; you can’t expect Mrs Boss Lady to keep replacing them all the time. Play nicely,” she scolded and quickly added, “for heaven's sake, Colin, when did you last bathe the filthy thing or even feed it for that matter. I can smell it from here?”

The man had reached us staggering along with his spindly legs handicapped by the short-chain between his heavy iron ankle shackles.  He wore a heavy iron collar around his neck with long chains on either side, leading to smaller versions of the neck collar around his wrists.  He was panting desperately for breath and threw only the briefest of glances in our direction in his haste to get to Colin. The wretched creature was clearly terrified of the young giant! 

Colin merely grunted with amusement at Sally’s words. He grabbed the emaciated man by his mane of long shaggy uncut hair pulling him forwards and twisting him around his other hand, grasping and roughly fondling the wretches naked buttocks as he did so. “I likes em good an skinny. Anyways plenty more where this un came from for the boss to pick up!” he laughed and winked at me. “Got a taste for bitch’s like this when I were doing time like he informed me.”

“Oh!” was all I could think of to say.

“Ger on yer knees bitch”, he growled, forcing the scrawny figure downwards. “You show some proper respect when a lady boss is here!”  he casually cuffed the man knocking him down, then bent and yanked him into a kneeling position. The man could say nothing in protest, for he was bited with what looked like a short thick stick in his mouth pulled cruelly tight by a length of twine knotted behind his head. 

“Well, we’ve gotta go, things to do, take care, Colin,” Sally said. 

”An you little Missie”, he replied with a wave of his giant paw. “You take care yerself now wi them two big ugly buggers of yourn, dornee let em get out of hand now!”

Sally laughed and repeater that whipping gesture.  “Fat chance of that!” she skipped up to him, and he bent down and lifted her gently in one effortless movement; she was so lightweight compared to his vast bulk. She kissed him lightly on the forehead, and then the pair rubbed noses, prompting them to giggle in unison. As he gently put her back down, I sensed a great deal of empathy between the mismatched pair and could guess why.

“And for goodness sake, give that damn skeleton a decent meal or two, take him down to your mum’s kitchen every so often, or you’ll be asking Lady Boss for number five way too soon!”

Colin gave a short bark of laughter as though he thought the suggestion a huge joke and waved his hand again. “Nah, er will likely spoil the useless bitch rotten, er’s soft like that. You seed that big fat hound she got, darn thing can’t even chase its tail let alone catch burglars or out else!” He turned away, chuckling, and I saw him kick the kneeling figure. “Git yere lazy arse ower there so’s I can fill yer basket again wi the clippings, and yer’d better be quicker goin an dumping em on the pile this time, or I’ll tan yer arse again! Don’t make no difference to me when I fucks it later, be it lily-white or red or black’n bloody blue, do it bitch?” 

Sally made a disapproving noise, shook her head, then took my hand and led me towards the kennels. I said, “Goodbye Colin, nice to have met you”.

“Bye-bye, Mrs”, he replied politely but with his back to me as he shovelled dry grass into the waiting basket with those massive hands of his. I turned back, and an image popped into my mind as I did so from the previous evening.

 “I saw his mother last night in the kitchen when I went to see Raven before I went up to bed; she was laying into a maid with what looked like a rubber paddle, the one who served us dinner, the one in the rubber hood.”

“Oh, slag, you mean! She’s always getting a taste of that rubber slapper, either that or Mandy’s cane. Getting old poor thing, but that’s not an excuse for slacking so far as Mandy is concerned!”

“Slag? That’s what you call her?”

Sally shrugged her shoulders as though she wasn’t interested. “Either that of just girl. I don’t know what her name is, nor do I care. Mandy had always called her that, so I just followed suit; she’s been there a hell of a long time, I know that! What of it, if I may ask? 

“Just curious, no big deal, but she was certainly making her squeal. She’s like her son, big build. She was holding her down with one large hand across the table and really letting fly with that rubber thing” I was trying to sound nonchalant, for such seemed the norm here, but the spectacle had fascinated me. “I just thought that a little odd or out of character considering what you told Colin just now.”

Sally frowned at me for a moment. “How so, oh wait, I get you! Nah, he might have had his belly filled for a change, but not much else. Now, if he’d been in the kennels or stable, that would be different! Susan is a complete nutter when it comes to animals, even the sort we keep. She sneaks little treats to them when she thinks nobody is looking,” Sally chuckled, “but we all know she does it. Mandy and the girls find it amusing the way she treats them, just like the waifs and strays she sometimes has in the kitchen, baby birds that have fallen out of nests, motherless kittens and the like!”

I looked back at the odd couple working behind us before turning to Sally as she spoke. “Poor Colin, not the sharpest knife in the drawer and has some other problems besides. I can certainly sympathise with that. Despite all his parents' attention, he went down the same route others like him have followed. Frequent school expulsions, fights with his peers, special school, juvenile court appearances, detention ultimately leading to serious crime and a long sentence. No, don’t look like that. He’s a real sweetie; he wouldn't hurt a fly these days!”

“Really!” I must have sounded highly dubious, but then I’d seen that poor ‘bitch’ of his, hadn’t I?

“Well,” Sally hastily extemporised. “Maybe with one exception. Or perhaps two. I wouldn’t care to be the trespasser to feel those giant hands of his around my neck, would you?”.

“No, I would not!” I said with a shudder. “is that one of his jobs, and what did he mean about Mandy and plenty more of them?”

A series of pitiful shrieks and screams of pain reached our ears even as I spoke, and we both stopped and turned to watch Colin teaching his bitch not to be so lazy with what looked like something long and flexible. I had noticed a long thin sapling lying on the ground near to him.

Sally took my elbow, and we turned back towards the stable. “He meant prison”, she explained. You know or maybe don’t know how it goes! Mandy has a contact who has a contact who has an excellent connection with a prison about twenty miles away. It’s a category B institution, not for the most dangerous types but those deemed too risky for the lower C class establishments. Usually, those that behave themselves would end up in one of those or an open prison before release but not the unrepentant bad boys!” she smiled. “Getting the picture?”

I nodded. “I think I’m beginning to”.

Sally laughed. “Mandy thinks of it ‘as doing her bit for society’, keeping the streets safe and all that. At least that’s what she says, and I suspect she might even believe that!”  Sally giggled. “I expect that if her tastes ran to male ponies, the streets would be even safer. Seriously though, I gather such establishments are an excellent source of raw material for people like us.”

“How so?”

Sally shrugged, “Right contacts with access to personal records. A reliable and constant turnover of material not generally beloved by society and in many cases nobody terribly concerned if they should disappear. Go poof into thin air and vanish for good! More the opposite, I should think!”

“So that’s where”, I turned to look back, “where Colin’s friend came from?”

Sally laughed. “Friend is pushing a little, I think, but yes. In most cases, the poor dears are thrust out of the big old Victorian wooden gates into a seedy, rundown back street at the crack of dawn, clutching their meagre belongings in a brown paper bag. There is nothing in their pockets but a few pounds and a railway ticket and a letter giving their appointed parole officer details when they get to their home area. No wonder most of them re-offend within days! Not all, of course, some get met or something else, but for many of them, it’s just a solitary walk in the damp morning air.”

 “But some of them do get a lift, an unexpected one,” I said shrewdly. “Not friends and family nor an official one either!”

Sally chuckled. “Here we are, almost back at the doggie kennels. No, not an official vehicle; many are looked at, but few are chosen, or so I am told. But then not many are needed, are they?  I suppose in a sense they should feel almost privileged.”

She said that with such a straight face. We both looked at each other and simultaneously burst out laughing.  I glanced back again, but Colin and his pet were out of sight.  ” Privileged!” I exclaimed.

Sally grinned as she led me towards the long low building. “Oh, there are far worse ways to serve than that poor wretch, Honey! Anyway, they ought to be used to it. Going from one strictly controlled regime to another complete with bed and board also provided” she stopped abruptly, making me almost bump into her small frame. “Although perhaps ultra-severe regimes might be more apt, and I doubt the bed and board would meet regulatory standards”.

“Nor the punishment for breaking the rules and minor infringements”, I added.

Sally chuckled wickedly and winked. “Oh, why should we even bother ourselves waiting for them to break the rules, and nothing here is ever minor! Now come along, let’s check on your little puppy girl and introduce you to the other occupants. You can take her walkies to the stable, and I’ll take one of her new friends. I like to stroll around the grounds when I’m staying, and it's so much more fun when you have a doggie with you” she laughed and pushed open the old wooden door.