Wants And Needs Ch. 02

Oh, God. I must really be on edge if I sound like that to myself. Nervous energy bubbles up inside me, but I remind myself that this is for Derek. I mean, his own friends don't believe him, that's awful. If I can do something to help with that, it would be selfish not to!

Besides, it's not like this is something completely new. I mean, yeah, it's been me and him so far, but how different can it be with two more guys? I've watched enough porn to know the gist of it.

I walk at a briskier pace, mindful to not run late - that would be so impolite. For some reason, I find myself thinking of the pendant. I've barely laid eyes on it since I first got it. It's tucked away at home somewhere. Should I return it?

Anxiety spikes at the thought, for some reason that eludes my grasp. Every time I reach for it, it retreats back into the mists. A part of me - the old Phoebe, maybe - is screaming at me to turn around, to call the whole thing off. But I keep walking. For some reason, I can't bring myself to back out now.

Ugh, I can be so dumb sometimes. I shouldn't be thinking about that! I should focus on what's about to go down.

...

No pun intended.

As I approach the maintenance shed, my heart starts racing. I can't believe I'm actually going through with this. But I can't let Derek down. He needs me to prove to his friends that he's not lying about our encounters. And I need to please him.

I knock on the door and it creaks open. Derek is standing there with a grin on his face. Marty and Tyler are lounging on a pile of old blankets in the corner.

"Hey, Phoebe," Derek says, beaming. "You made it!"

I nod, feeling a flutter of excitement in my stomach. "Yeah, I'm here."

Derek takes my hand and leads me in, turning around towards his friends, as if to say, see? I told you, I was being truthful. Just seeing him so validated is enough to make me stand a little taller. I'm doing something worthwhile, something selfless.

I don't know much about his friends. I locked horns with Derek quite a bunch over the years, but I never interacted with his buddies. Marty is bookish and stout, and behind his thick glasses, he looks more nervous than I am. Tyler is tall, lanky, and seems to be taking it all in rather coolly. He eyes me with a... calculating gaze.

My antennae are firmly up, and receiving. Different persons will have different needs. I need to be attuned to that.

"So, what do you guys want me to do?" I ask, clapping my hands together to get the situation moving along.

Marty looks to the other two, uncertain. Tyler just studies me, very closely - he probably still suspects this is some sort of prank, that we're not really being serious.

That leaves Derek having to do the honours. He takes me by the hand, very gently, and guides me to kneel in the center of the blankets as the three of them surround me.

Marty goes red as a pepper as Derek begins caressing my body. I meet Derek's deep kiss as he unbuttons my blouse. He circles me, then, and fumbles a bit - whether because of the dark, or inexperience, I don't know - before finally removing my bra, exposing my breasts.

Marty stares wide-eyed, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. Tyler gives an approving nod. "Very nice," he says. "If she's bullshitting, at least that's dedication to the act."

"It's not an act," Derek says, and I blush at how nice he is. Defending the honour of my word, my honesty, my innocence. People can count on me. I'm a trustworthy person. A good friend.

I'm selfless.

"Alright," Tyler says with a shrug. "In that case..."

His hands reach for my breasts. I exhale when his skin makes contact with mine. I'm doing well by doing good. Doing well by doing good, yes.

Tyler's eyes widen a little when I don't flinch away from his touch, and then, they narrow again. He cups my tits firmly, teasing my nipples. Marty watches raptly, his eyes roaming over my kneeling body.

"Are you convinced now?" Derek asks.

"Maybe," Tyler says, thinking. Then, he looks me square in the eyes, as if in challenge. "I think it's time you showed Marty a good time," he says. "He hasn't really been getting any."

I want to scold Tyler for talking about his friend like that. That's not very nice! He must be feeling terribly! Then again, it's not so bad. He is getting me to take care of Marty's feelings, so all in all, that's pretty considerate, right?

With one fluid motion, I get up and slide out of my trousers. Save for panties and socks, I'm stark naked now. I drop back to my knees as I shuffle closer to Marty, looking up at him through my lashes as I gently pull down his zipper. He sucks in a sharp breath, watching me with disbelief in his eyes.

I give him an encouraging smile as I reach into his pants and pull out his cock.

It's already starting to harden as I wrap my fingers around it. I stroke him slowly, feeling his cock throb in my grip. Marty lets out a low groan, but he's not relaxing into the handjob. He's tense and taut like a violin string.

"Relax, Marty," I say. "Let me take care of you."

I lean in, running my tongue along the underside of his cock.

Marty shudders, one hand coming down to rest lightly on my head. He pulls it back right away, as if he's done something wrong... but, seeing no reaction from me, he tentatively puts it back there.

How nice. It's so unfair that girls neglect him. Time to make him feel good. My pace is slow and sensual as I explore every inch of him with my lips and tongue, learning what makes him gasp or moan.

When I finally take him into my mouth, sinking down on his cock, Marty cries out sharply. His thighs tremble under my hands as I start to bob my head. My tongue swirls skillfully, lips sealed tightly around his shaft.

I glance up to see him staring down at me, eyes dazed, mouth hanging open. He looks amazed that this is really happening. I feel a flush of pride that I can make him feel such powerful sensations.

I lose myself in the steady motion, focused only on Marty's pleasure. I take him deeper, sucking ardently. His moans grow louder, hands tangling in my hair. I can tell he's close now, even if it's only been a few minutes.

That's okay. The poor dear has probably been pent up for quite some time.

"I'm gonna...gonna..." Marty groans. His cock pulses and then he's flooding my mouth with spurts of hot, salty cum. I swallow it down eagerly, determined to milk every last drop from him; then, I lick him clean, gently, as he pants for breath.

When I finally pull back, I smile up at Marty, thrilled to have satisfied him so thoroughly. I want to make sure he doesn't feel inadequate for having busted his nut so rapidly, and he smiles back at me - mission accomplished.

Doing well by doing good.

"How was that?" I ask sweetly.

He opens his mouth to respond, but the words don't seem to come out.

"It was fast," Tyler says at last, behind me. "But it was also convincing."

I turn around to find him - and Derek, too - beginning to strip down, their hard cocks pointed at me. Expectantly. Waiting to be serviced.

Tyler moves closer, running his hands down my sides and along my thighs. "I gotta admit, I'm surprised you're going along with this Phoebe. Didn't take you for the type." His fingers brush over my panties, making me shiver.

"I'm full of surprises," I say breathily.

"That you are, it would seem."

Tyler grabs my chin, staring into my eyes intently. Meanwhile, his other hand continues to tease me. The fingers slip under my panties, probing my cunt. I gasp and arch into his touch. "Mmm yeah, you're definitely into this," he says.

My breaths come faster as he strokes and teases me... but my mind never slows down. What does Tyler want? Why is he being so analytical?

I think he wants to push me. I think he wants to know for sure that this is real, that I won't say no. And if my interpretation is correct, the only selfless thing to do is to say it out loud - that he can fuck me. No, that I want him to fuck me. That's what he really wants and needs to hear, after all.

And therefore, it's what I must say.

"I want you to fuck me," I say, looking up at him through lowered lashes. He seems taken aback for a moment before his expression darkens with lust.

"Please, I want to feel you inside me," I say, sliding my panties down. At last, it seems, his hunger wins over his self-control. He circles behind me as I position myself on all fours, and grasps my hips, positioning himself at my entrance.

I feel the head of his cock tease me, sliding up and down along my wet slit.

"Well, since you asked so politely..."

He slides into me, slowly at first, letting me adjust to his size. I gasp at the fullness, the sensation of being stretched and filled completely. My pussy clenches around him eagerly and I push back, taking him deeper.

"That's what you are, aren't you?" He asks, gripping my hips tighter as he begins to move. "Polite."

His thrusts start slow, but quickly build in pace and intensity. I meet each one, our bodies coming together again and again. The pleasure builds within me and I moan loudly, wanting more. Not more cock; not more sex; but more self-abnegation.

I want to please.

I want to give myself other to other people's wants and needs.

I want to be a selfless, better, happier person.

And as Derek circles around me and presses his cock to my lips, I get exactly that.

I part my lips and take Derek into my mouth eagerly, sucking and licking him as Tyler continues pounding me from behind. I've never felt so deliciously needed before, so completely devoted to others' enjoyment rather than my own.

My tongue swirls around Derek's shaft as I take him deeper, eager to give him the same mind-blowing sensations that Tyler is giving me.

I relax my throat, suppressing my gag reflex until my nose is pressed against his abdomen. I hold him there for a few seconds, massaging the head of his cock with the back of my throat, before pulling back and repeating the process. Marty is stroking himself as he watches it all, wide-eyed.

God. I used to be such a recalcitrant bitch. I made a religion out of contrarianism. It was so difficult for me to think about things from other people's points of view. To see their needs.

And look at me now, being spitroasted, taking it like a fucking champ, out of nothing but selflessness. It comes so easy to me, now.

I've changed.

Tyler is gripping my hips so hard I know there will be bruises later. But I don't care. I want the marks. I want the reminders on my body of how helpful and nice and sweet I've been to Derek and his two friends.

Tyler's powerful thrusts rock my entire body, I can feel my breasts bouncing wildly with each slam forward. The lewd sounds of flesh slapping on flesh mingles with our collective moans. I've never felt so utterly and perfectly filled in both ends.

My own climax builds within me but I don't chase it, keeping my focus on the hard cocks penetrating me front and back.

"I want a turn with that pussy," Derek says, withdrawing from me. Tyler, behind me, does the same, with a wet squelching sound, and the two switch places. I find myself confronted with Tyler's cock, glistening with my own juices.

I have no second thought about parting my lips and taking it into my mouth.

Derek teases my entrance with his tip before slamming inside me. I cry out, muffled by the cock in my mouth. He sets a brutal pace, his balls slapping against my clit with each thrust. I clench around him as intense pleasure shoots through me.

"I told you guys, she's fucking incredible," Derek says with a grunt. He reaches around to roughly grope my breasts. Tyler grips my hair tightly, forcing himself deeper down my throat. Drool drips from my chin and tears sting my eyes, but I don't resist.

Openness is an important part of being selfless.

The familiar heat coils inside me once more, radiating outward from my sex. Sensing I'm close, Derek moves his fingers to my clit and starts rubbing fast circles.

Then, I tip over.

My pussy clamps down on Derek as a powerful orgasm rips through my body. I let out a long, muffled moan around Tyler's cock. Derek continues to pound me through it, chasing his own release. With a few more erratic thrusts, he buries himself to the hilt and I feel him pulsing inside me as he fills me with his hot cum.

Tyler pulls out of my mouth and strokes himself rapidly. I nod my assent - he likes the idea, so I like the idea - but it takes him a blink of an eye to finally climax himself.

The first rope hits me, and then the second, and then he's streaking my face and hair with thick spurts of his cum.

I collapse forward, thoroughly used and satisfied. The taste of cum lingers on my tongue as it drips down my chin, and I can feel the load in my cunt too, and most of all... I feel the glowing happiness that comes with making other people so, so happy.

Something still nags at me, even now. It insists that this isn't who I really am, that I would never act this way normally. But the mist seems to glow brighter, whispering that this is all I want.

That this is all I need.

***

I'm suddenly afraid.

The bathroom door creaks open, and I freeze, like a scared animal. My hands are still cupped under the faucet. There's still some cum sticking to my face.

And there, in the doorway, stands Sylvia.

Her eyes are wide behind her glasses, her lips pressed together in disapproval, her arms crossed. She's tapping her foot, angrily, and I feel dread in the pit of my stomach, because there is only one reason for her to be here now.

"I saw everything," she says, slowly. "Nice work on that errand."

My heart sinks. I don't know what's worse, the fact that she caught me, or the fact that she looks so disappointed in me. So soon after I betrayed her trust, I have to feel like this, again? I guess I've been an idiot. I should have just told her the truth. But she was being so inquisitive about it, and...

"Uh... Sylvia, I can explain," I stammer at last, though I'm not actually sure that I can.

"Explain? Explain?? What the fuck, Phoebe?" Sylvia says, her voice rising. "What the fuck was that?"

Well, that's easy to answer at least. "It was a fun time," I say.

The response seems to utterly stupefy her. Her mouth - and her fists - open and close in angry disbelief. "A fun time? You can barely stand Derek, and you don't even know those two losers! And you've lied to me!"

"I'm sorry about lying," I say, delicately, gently. "But Syl, you've been so... nosy about this stuff. It really does feel like you can't believe I'm trying to be less selfish now."

She throws her hands up in frustration at that. It hurts like a slap. Why can't I make her see?

"What the fuck does selfishness have to do with any of this?"

"You know, I could ask you the same thing," I say, throwing my chin up. "Why are you so worked up about my sex life?"

"Because that's not what bothers me, Phoebe, come on! You're like this with everyone, you, you... it's like you can't say no anymore!"

A stunned silence follows her words. It's like she herself has said more than she realised. She brings a hand to her mouth, and I feel... the room seems to be spinning a little... I stumble forward, and I almost lose my balance.

"Of course I can say no," I manage to say at last. "It's hard to explain, but ever since I visited this one store... I mean, I was always so selfish before, only caring about my own needs. But now I see how good it feels to make others happy. I just want to be a better person."

Sylvia rolls her eyes. What do I need to say to get her to take me seriously? "A better person? Phoebe, you're acting like a fucking doormat. A pushover. You're letting them walk all over you."

She covers her face with her hands. "You know why I feel so shitty about this? Because it feels like it's my fucking fault. Ever since I got angry at you, it's like you've been on a crusade of self destruction. I didn't want this for you. I didn't!"

Oh.

Oh. She feels guilty. That makes me feel absurdly guilty in turn, and I feel tears pricking at my eyes... but at least it gives me somethong to work with, a clear issue to remedy. A direction. I need to make Sylvia feel better. Nothing else matters right now.

"This isn't about you, I promise, Syl," I say, softly.

"Isn't it?" She asks. "I know you've been going through a hard time lately,but this isn't the answer. Doing things just to please other people, losing yourself in the process...it's dangerous, Phoebe."

"I'm not losing myself," I say, defensively. "Syl, come on, it was just sex."

"The sex isn't the problem," she says. I've never seen her this shaken and upset, or this assertive. "It's why you did it. Be honest. Was it because you were horny?"

"Well, I was, once we got going, but..." I think for a second, trying to pick the combination of words that will hopefully placate her. "Derek needed a favour, and I was happy to help."

"A favour." Sylvia says, dryly. "So you think letting a bunch of horny jocks use your body and cover you in jizz is doing them a favour? I mean, I guess that's technically right. Do you really not realise how you sound?"

"It's not like that," I protest. "They were so grateful afterwards. I could see how much they needed that release. And it made me feel powerful in a strange way, being able to give them something they desperately wanted."

"I swear to God," Sylvia says, "you've always been good at rationalisations, but today you're overdoing yourself. You used to come up with totally valid reasons to never lift a finger, and now... ugh! It's like I said. You can't say no anymore."

I feel a flash of anger at that, this time. But I won't yield to such a self-centered emotion as anger. This is my friend. I need to patch things up with her. I need to make sure she's doing well.

"Look, Sylvia, I get why you're worried," I say carefully. "This whole thing probably seems really sudden to you. But I'm still me. Don't you think you're being a little over-dramatic?"

She fixes me with a hard stare, not speaking for several seconds.

And then, she says, curtly, "Let's find out. You said Derek needed a favour. Well, I need a favour, too. I would very much like you to step through this door, get in the car, and drive back to my place. We're going to sit in my room and we're going to have a talk about this, even if it means staying up through the night. Will you do that for me?"

I open my mouth, ready to protest - but the words die on my lips. She's right. I owe it to her to explain what's going on.

"Okay," I say with a small sigh. "Let's go talk."

Before I even realise what I'm doing, my feet are carrying me through the door, my hands fishing the car keys from my pocket.

Wait.

This isn't... right, is it? It's not how this is supposed to go. I'm supposed to say no, to prove a point. I'm...

I can feel the mist closing in. I can feel the train of thought I could use to rationalise this. It's there, ready to kick into gear, but it doesn't take over, this time. Not with Sylvia's gotcha grin as she watches me step over the threshold, out of the bathroom, and into the hallway.

What is happening to me?

I feel...

Afraid.

TO BE CONTINUED

AUTHOR'S NOTE: More chapters of WANTS AND NEEDS are already available on my Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/alectashadow
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