Crazy Eight

4 - Their 30ths approach

“Welcome, it’s good to see the crazy eight together again,” said Karen, raising her glass of Prosecco to the assembled group.

“Welcome to our humble home,” laughed Sally, “please don’t mind Barney, he is house-trained.”

Barney was a golden Labrador who ignored his name being mentioned, as he was far more interested in getting to know Max, who was a black Labrador belonging to Linda.

“I guess it falls on me to give the first update,” Sally said, “I would like to announce that Karen and I are now officially a couple.”

Karen had a smile that, if it were any wider, would have touched her ears and was holding Sally’s hand tightly.

When Sally had left university, she had met and married a Fireman called Kevin. They had all attended the wedding, and Karen had been her bridesmaid, spending the whole day looking wistfully at Sally. Sadly, a few years later, Kevin had been killed in a major warehouse fire, leaving her a young widow. Karen had supported her through those times, and the rest of the women suspected there was more, but it had never been revealed officially.

“And there was me thinking you didn’t like the taste of pussy,” Cathy laughed.

“She does now,” Karen joked back, making Sally blush deeply.

“Well, that may be the next step for me,” Kate said quietly, “My divorce became final last month, so Stuart and I are no longer a couple.”

There were murmurs of commiserations, but nothing too serious, as most of them didn’t really warm to the large, loud-mouthed man Kate had married a few years ago. It seemed to them that she only got married to put a man on the farm following the death of her grandfather, not long after she graduated.

“I have been promoted again,” Victoria announced proudly. None of the others bothered asking about any personal relationships, as Victoria was married to her job in the city.

“Well, I would give you an update on the number of men I have slept with in the last year, but we all know I would be lying,” Linda laughed. “However, I have been nominated for an award for my latest research.”

Linda had once tried to explain what she did at Cambridge Science Park, but within minutes of her starting, most of them were hopelessly lost. It was easier just to picture her with a white lab coat, safety glasses and bubbling test tubes. It was this vision that had earned her the nickname ‘The Professor’ or ‘Prof’, though the truth was she worked in a baggy sweatshirt, hunched over a computer with not a white coat or test tube in sight.

“I guess you have all seen, or rather heard, the new EnsureUInsure advert,” asked Cathy.

“Oh my god, is that yours?” Pam exclaimed. “I mean, apart from you selling out to the establishment, it is pretty catchy.”

“The senior management is very happy with me, so hopefully a bit more money is coming my way. What about you, Pam? How is your band, ‘Complete Darkness’, doing?”

“It was ‘Utter Darkness’ as you well know,” Pam said, poking her tongue out playfully, “and we had a recording contract on the table before our lead singer decided he would fuck the producer’s son.”

“Boys will be boys,” Victoria chuckled.

“I think it was doing him on stage and on film that caused the issue,” Pam replied, remembering the fight that had broken out after Reg, their lead singer, had posted it on OnlyFans and tagged the producer.

“My parents are still running the White Hart, and despite all the shit going on, things are doing OK,” announced Shelly. ‘Doing OK’ was perhaps a little bit of an exaggeration as the large pub in the centre of one of Manchester’s feeder towns was suffering the same as the rest of the industry. Her long-term partner Brian worked in the kitchen, and she helped out behind the bar as the plan was always for them to take over one day, but that was now becoming questionable.

With the scene set, the women started to chatter in smaller groups, and Victoria was in the corner with Shelly, who was becoming increasingly more drunk.

“What’s wrong with dog sex anyway?” Shelly slurred in Victoria’s face.

The rest of the group stopped their chatter, and in the silence that followed, you could have heard a pin drop.

“Shelly, are you saying you have fucked a dog?” Kate said very quietly as she looked at the pair.

“Yes, I have,” Shelly said defensively, “and I still do.”

“What about your Brian?” Sally injected.

“He knows and he helps. After all, it was his idea.”

“And how did it start?” Cathy added breathlessly.

“It all started with dogging rather than dogs,” Shelly began.