Relationship Talk (sequel to Guest Speaker)

NOTE: This is a sequel to "Guest Speaker", but I thought it made more sense to start a separate series.

On our way home, we both started to say something, and then Nat said "Wait until we get home."

Once we did, it was pretty much dinner time but I wasn't hungry, I asked Nat she wasn't either, even though we tried not to order too much we agreed we'd either make something frozen or order food if we got hungry later. Then, in our bedroom, well really just our room since we had the master bedroom and bathroom in a house with other students, I sat in a chair while Nat sat on the edge of our bed. I couldn't think of what to say, fortunately Nat took the lead.

"I think the interview with the professor was good, I'm inclined to be a guest speaker next term, but don't have to decide yet. But a lot of other things came up, I think we should have a serious talk this weekend. Don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong, I'm still into you both romantically and sexually and intellectually, I just think that a lot of things happened to us, well me especially and you dealing with it, and talking with the professor I realized we haven't talked too much about our relationship recently outside of sex and teasing. So until we talk this weekend, no sexual wordplay, no teasing, and I'd like to make it cuddling only, nothing more. If you need release you can masturbate of course, but I thought we'd reward ourselves with a sex session after our talk, so maybe you want to make sure you're pent up, after two days feeling like I do all the time. Sorry, I said no sexual wordplay, my bad. Are you okay with all that, having a talk on the weekend and taking it easy until then?"

"Of course yes, it's not all about sex I like spending time with you for any reason, and we're not guys, we don't flee from relationship talks!" I smiled at Nat, while thinking about fleeing the relationship talk. "But cuddling until the weekend it is!"

On the weekend, after a modest breakfast, my turn to prepare it, we both had scrambled eggs and one half piece of toast, we floated some ideas of what to do the rest of the day, other than study of course. Neither of us seemed in a mood to do much, I realized we were both anxious to have "the talk" but Nat spoke up first.

"Can we agree that when we're speaking about what we want, and possible changes to our relationship dynamic, both sexual and non-sexual, that it's not to be taken as criticism about anything up to now? I think we should both be open without worrying that wanting something different is taken as not liking what we were doing before." I nodded quickly in agreement, genuine agreement. "Oh, and smallest, or no, clit goes first." Nat gave a somewhat bitter, but still sexy, smile. "Non-sexually, even with other people in the house now since classes started, I think the way we as a house split the cleaning seems to be working so far, I mean not everyone does a great job in the kitchen or bathroom, but it all seems okay and the difference due more to lack of experience cleaning than laziness. You agree?" I nodded and Nat continued "I don't think either of us have become great friends with our housemates, our backgrounds and studies are a bit too different, but we're at least friendly, and I wouldn't mind having the occasional house party some weekend. Oh, weekend, that reminds me." Nat looked serious. "I love how you tease me, verbally and physically, and how you bring me to incredible heights of arousal. Speaking with Professor Gale was great, I mean not just potentially of academic interest to her and the class but personally, sexually, a huge turnon, and some things she said gave me ideas. But as special as it was, I don't want special things diluted too much. So I was thinking, instead of teasing me as frequently as you do, verbally I mean, maybe we could start setting specific weekends, one or two a month depending on our classes and assignments, and on those weekends you have free reign to tease me, verbally, physically, whatever, but the rest of the time, unless we've agreed in advance to something special like for a holiday, we have a normal, loving, lesbian relationship. Two girls in love."

Nat suddenly looked stricken, I didn't realize why at first, then realized, this was the first time she'd used the L word. Love, I mean, not lesbian! Crap, I was being silent too long, "Ditto. I mean, yes, I love you too."

"Ditto?" Nat almost burst out laughing. "I'll remember that. I'll make sure you remember that. But as tempting as it is to celebrate our first use of that word here in our bedroom, I'd like to continue our talk first." I nodded and Nat continued "So is that okay, limiting our sexual verbal and physical teasing to not being all the time? I realized I asked you to tease me a lot, I'm sorry if it's difficult to change,"

I interrupted Nat "No, it's fine. Good even. Maybe summers, winter break, spring break we'll talk about extended periods, but as much as it's a turn-on for me too, I think it will be a relief to not be on all the time. Besides, that way I can work on my material and save my best stuff instead of using it all the time." I smiled sexily, well I hope it was sexily. My smile dropped as I realized something and brought it up. "I think, maybe, could we have some weekends where you take the dominant role again? I think I miss that. Of course if it's too much a reminder of what used to be or something then no, but,"

This time Nat interrupted me, "No, I'll have to think about what to do, but think that would work out. Kind of related, and thinking about what professor Gale said about an introduction to someone, not necessarily that, but except for your loss of virginity experience, we haven't involved other people. I mean the man who fucked you, not counting the dog as a person." Nat stuck her tongue out at me, I rolled my eyes and she continued "I'll have to think about the other stuff you and the professor brought up, there was a lot, maybe we can talk about it all on a teasing Nat weekend. In terms of other people, I'm not really interested in polyamory or opening up our relationship, I hope you aren't, but if you are we can talk about it. Generally, I mean. I think it might be nice for some special occasions to have someone else involved, and your talking about me domming you sometimes again got me thinking of something like, if we had another woman for one evening I could be the domme making you serve each other for my amusement or something. Then when she left, you and I could continue, she wouldn't ever have to know about, well, my condition. But, the fantasy aside, guest speaker in class is okay, maybe allowing the professor to see the, the, you know the video of what happened to me, but I don't think the class. But your suggestion of taking me to a sex club being exposed to strangers, at least for now keep that as a fantasy, I don't want strangers seeing my clitless pussy. The professor and even more maybe, students, was okay because there's genuine academic interest even if it's also sexual. Like some people in the class won't be turned on by it!"

I prefer using the word "dom", Nat prefers "domme", so when I'm writing about her I'll try to remember to use her preference. Hey, she reads what I write before I publish it for the rest of you horny readers! Oh, and in case it wasn't obvious, our names aren't actually Jane and Natalie, nor is there a Professor Barbara Gale, well maybe there is but not that we met, I've changed names and some other stuff that would identify us too closely. But what happened, in Berlin and Eastern Europe (we think, as I mentioned before the exact location is unclear), was sadly all too real, the description of what happened all too accurate.

Enough with the downer. "Nat, speaking of other people, not strangers but friends, not about sex, some of the other girls on our rec soccer team have been asking about you, why you don't come out anymore. I thought we made some friends last year, before the exchange." Neither of us was good enough or competitive enough to be varsity athletes, but we played in a fairly competitive women's recreational soccer league at the college, indoor during the winter and normal outdoor soccer the rest of the year. I suppose you readers would prefer we were volleyball or field hockey players!

Nat glared at me, "You know why, if we end up showering afterwards because the team is going out or something instead of coming back here, I'd be afraid of someone else seeing me, seeing what happened!"

"Nat, please, I know that, I just meant, they miss you, they want to see you, maybe we can meet up socially outside of soccer? And you used to like participating in sports, are you, can you,"

Nat was smiles again "Yes, I'm flexible, the scar tissue doesn't prevent me bending, stretching, spreading my legs. Hasn't that been obvious in the bedroom? No, I mean I do want to resume working out, when I can come back here to shower, but I'm too nervous that someone might spontaneously say, hey, let's go out for drinks, we'll shower here in the cruddy change rooms, and then I'd risk exposing myself or acting all weird not to expose myself, facing the wall, whatever."

"No, I get it, well, I think I do, not saying I know how you feel, just," then it hit me. I went silent and thought. Then thought some more. Nat was patient, we were having a serious discussion she wasn't going to stop me from thinking. "Nat, can we move into talking about sex and stuff? I don't want to shut down the relationship talk, and I'll volunteer that I should work on my cooking skills a bit more, not just doing scrambled eggs and toast, but I had a thought."

"That's fine, I mean talking about not being teased all the time was about sex and stuff, we can talk about your cooking skills, or lack of skills beyond eggs and toast another time." Nat smiled to remove the sting from her words.

"Do you trust, well maybe not everyone on the soccer team but at least Catherine, Rachel, Emma and maybe Wendy? Trust them enough to help you keep your secret, you know, being around you when we shower if there's a situation in which it would be weird to come straight home or something like that?"

Nat looked at me without understanding. "Sure, I think so. But how would that work, them helping keep my secret without knowing what it is and without risking them seeing it in the shower themselves?"

"Well, that was my thought. You were willing to show yourself and your clitless pussy to the professor, a stranger, even if you were a bit surprised when I encouraged it in her office. You may be willing to expose yourself, even if not physically emotionally and in sharing what happened to you, maybe even the video of your clitoridectomy" I wasn't trying to tease, just be factual, emphasize the point "with a class full of strangers. What about sharing what happened, even showing it, not to strangers, but to friends, other women, who you trust and wouldn't be cruel to you, like those three or four women from our soccer team?" I waited to see what Nat thought.

She seemed about to speak, hesitated, then about to speak, closed her eyes and thought. Then she opened her eyes, looked at me and finally spoke. "Definitely have to think about it, and how it would work. I think all of them, including Wendy, would be trustworthy. Not sure they'd be comfortable, but I think they'd be okay with helping me keep my secret. But I realized as you were speaking, or as I thought about it afterwards, there was one thing that, well, I hate to say it but we're being honest. I didn't like. I had to think back to my reaction to realize."

"If you were okay with the thought of revealing your clitoridectomy to them, what didn't you like?" I asked.

Nat closed her eyes again and even with her eyes closed looked away from me as she spoke. What was she so embarrassed about? She didn't even react like this when talking about her clitless pussy and permanent inability to orgasm with the professor, she made more eye contact when standing there naked, spreading her lips to show off her clitoridectomy scar, with her panties in her teeth. Hey, I wasn't teasing Nat in our conversation then, but in writing about it afterwards, it's fair game not restricted by the weekend rule! But at the time I was wondering, what would be so bad, so embarrassing?

Nat spoke, dragging out the word slowly. "You said our friends wouldn't be cruel to me. But I think," Nat swallowed and continued even more nervously, "If we revealed my, my clitoridectomy to them, I think I'd like them to be cruel to me, to mock me, to tease me about being a clitless cumless cunt like you do. A broken barbie doll with only scarred smoothness where there should be a clit. Maybe even threaten to expose me to the rest of the team. I wouldn't want them to actually do that, not a serious threat, and like us shifting to occasional teasing weekends not all the time, I wouldn't want them teasing me all the time. But at least once, for that first time when they learn what happened to me, I'd like them not to pity me or feel sympathy, or at least pretend they don't, just tease and mock me and my clitless pussy that will never, ever have another orgasm." Nat was still sitting on the edge of the bed, but when she shifted I could see from her crotch and the bed that she was soaking. I looked down and hey, I was too. This was a big turn on.

"I'm not sure, practically, how that would work, getting them to learn about you as a surprise without warning them in advance, but if you seriously want me to try to arrange this, I will. But if I can manage it, you'll have to accept it happening even if it's not on a teasing you weekend!" My thoughts were racing, how could I do this?

Nat slowly smiled and she even winked at me. Winked at me, in the privacy of our room! "I hope you manage it, even if you don't, looks and smells like we'll both be fantasizing about it!"