Guest Speaker

"If you're sure you're ready, I do have some questions first on what you already talked about, before you continue. If you'd prefer, I can ask Jane and you can just jump in? I think your experience in having a clitoridectomy, along with how you cope with it, will be most important for my class when you explain, so I want to make sure I understand everything." The professor seemed sympathetic, but like she still needed answers to her questions.

"Thank you professor, please ask Jane the questions. Actually I know I'll be the one speaking to the class, but for discussing how we discovered what had happened to me, probably better she goes first anyway after your questions." Nat was already a bit more composed, and then nodded in my direction to encourage me to speak.

"Before you ask your questions, professor, let me jump ahead to possibly answer some. The lawyers we spoke with were very clear, that even if not taking legal action now, it was very important to save, and backup securely, the video of Nat's clitoridectomy." I figured I'd use the word the professor had just used, trying to be a bit more clinical to give Nat a chance to recover. She wanted me to continue to tease her even when she was uncomfortable, but as much as it had become something to turn us both on, I didn't want to be excessively cruel in a way she didn't want. For now at least, verbal teasing will resume shortly as you read ahead in my description of what happened! "Both lawyers also said, and we agreed, that to give a more considered initial opinion they wanted Nat to show the video, they didn't want to save a copy unless they were retained to take further legal action, but they wanted Nat to watch the video with them and be prepared to answer questions."

"I'm sure they also told you something about keeping the details of your consultation with them and what you discussed private?" asked the professor.

"Yes, professor, they were also reluctant to have me there, they insisted on speaking with Nat privately first, actually just like you did to make sure she wanted to be here. Nat confirmed they wanted to make sure that she was satisfied I hadn't been involved in what happened to her." I responded "But she was very clear she needed me there for emotional support, and to answer questions if she couldn't handle it."

"Okay, but I really don't want to hear about the details of the legal consultations, but my first question, not only did you describe but I saw, Nat's entire clitoris as well as the prepuce, the hood, and upper portion of the labia minora are gone. Her description of the procedure mentioned only injecting anaesthetic and pulling out and cutting through her clitoris." Wow, the professor was being clinical, but the way she described the details seemed to emphasize what had happened to Nat.

"Yes, professor, Nat focused on what was most important, I still don't think she's been able to force herself to pay attention to more than she absolutely had to for getting advice. As I mentioned, just in case we do do anything legally, we've kept secure copies of Nat's clitoridectomy video. Also, while she's definitely not ready yet, as time goes on given her desire to be teased about what happened as a way of reclaiming her sexuality as we discussed, there may come a time when I use the video in sex play with Nat." I almost couldn't believe what I was saying, but as difficult as it had been, I'd discussed this exact point with Nat before, and she agreed that she might one day be ready.

The professor's eyes widened a bit at what I said but she didn't say anything and I continued, "You've already seen what Nat looks like now, maybe we can schedule a time for you to watch the video of her clitoridectomy with me, I don't think Nat's ready to watch or listen to it again right now unless she has to. Or, just a thought I haven't discussed this with Nat," I looked at her and she looked at me with what I could tell was growing horror as I continued "Perhaps instead of Nat having to discuss with your class what she remembers of the procedure, she was pretty out of it and under anesthetic so most of what she knows comes from watching the video, maybe it would be better for that portion of her story just to show the video to the class? We'd probably have to do a bit of editing to blur her face though, the video taken by Hilda didn't only show Nat's vulva" I was about to say pussy but figured better to be clinical with the professor "but also her face was visible in some shots."

I could tell that Nat had thought about saying something but decided not to, waiting to hear from the professor. "Hmm. Not today. Seeing what Natalie's vulva looks like now was fine when I thought about it when you did that, she, I mean you" she turned to nod at Nat "are an adult who chose to show me something directly relevant to my consideration of whether to have you as a guest speaker. There was no issue of consent. Showing me the video though, I'd be seeing a record of something done without consent, though with your permission and desire to have me see it, if you do decide to give me permission, hmm." The professor was quietly thinking and tapping one of her index fingers on her desk. "No, not today, I think it would be useful for me to see it if you, Nat, are okay with that. Whether to show it to my class would be something to decide much later, and I would probably have to consult with our own university legal department to make sure it would be okay. So let's take a rain check on me seeing your clitoridectomy procedure, and whether or not to show the video to my class is a decision for a much later date and after getting advice."

Was the professor deliberately saying "clitoridectomy" as much as possible? Probably I was just imagining it, but I'd think about it in fantasy or for teasing Nat later, maybe something like a roleplay where I'm the professor pretending to examine her for the first time and getting into sex play saying clitoridectomy as much as possible. Bad Jane, wrong for me to sexually objectify professor I'm taking a class with next semester! Or is it okay if it's all unknown to her, like fantasizing or masturbating about an actress you find attractive but haven't met? It's not like I can ask the professor about the ethics of pretending to be her in a sex roleplay with Nat!

My flight of imagination, or imagining what I might imagine, didn't take long and the professor was still thinking and tapping her long index finger, again bad Jane! I'm going to try to stick to fantasizing about how I'm going to tease Nat, and with my resolving to do that, I just had another idea. "Professor, something else to think about, and you'd probably need advice on this as well, but what about a field trip involving the class and Nat? We find a local sex positive club that's willing to have a private event, stick a hood on Nat so she can't be recognized, put her on display, and let the class examine her. We can have a box of gloves. Hey, maybe not just the class, not a private event, let anyone in the club examine her in exchange for a donation to charity or something."

The way Nat was looking at me and as much as I'd learned about her moods, I couldn't tell if she was angry, embarrassed, turned on, or some combination. The professor sighed "I'm not willing to do anything involving sexual contact with class members and a guest speaker. Examination even wearing gloves of Natalie's genitals would be sexual, her being involved with you would make it more problematic, I mean ethically and maybe legally, even if you're both okay with strangers touching Natalie."

I flushed a bit in embarrassment "Sorry Natalie, I wasn't thinking of that. But hey, what if it was visual only, I could wear a disguise also, not everyone in the class would attend so it wouldn't be obvious it was me, I could take requests for what to do, like someone asks me to spread her labia so they can look at where her clit used to be with a magnifying glass or something. We'd probably want a no cell phone rule though, we'd need one for the class where we showed the video also. And if someone does realize it's me, and then that Nat's my girlfriend and then figures out who she is outside class, well isn't that the sort of slight risk that turns you on?" I turned to Nat as I said the last bit and raised one eyebrow suggestively. I think it was suggestively, maybe it just looked like I was having a seizure or trying to get something out of my eye. I was just skipping over the part where the professor hadn't even been sure it would be okay to show the video, not to mention Nat not being sure it would be okay with her. Wow, I was really horny. Glad I wore the pantiliner. Nat after all the underwear off and on, or had she put her panties back on I couldn't remember anymore. I'm sure she was leaving a wet spot, or even a puddle, on the professor's chair. Too bad I couldn't tell her to lick it off the vinyl when we left, but I could still embarrass her by telling her to make sure to clean the chair thoroughly.

"We're getting offtrack here, my primary questions were about the description of Natalie's clitoridectomy not having described removal of her clitoral prepuce and portion of her labia minora, and whether or not the video still existed, I wasn't thinking about showing it to the class or the surprise suggestion of having the class examine Natalie. You've answered both those questions Jane, I'd like to hear about how you both discovered what had happened to Natalie's clitoris when you removed the dressing, and then I want to hear from Natalie again, what treatment you sought for your clitoridectomy at the time." The professor was talking to me about removing the dressing but then turned to Nat for the last bit. "You mentioned some more recent medical measures you've taken including continuing androgel for potential growth of the remains of your clitoral tissue following your clitoridectomy, but I'm interested in the immediate reaction to sexual trauma, the clitoridectomy and resulting anorgasmia of a highly sexually active adult woman." Wow again. In just three sentences, and to be fair they were long complicated sentences, the professor had used the word clitoridectomy four times, clitoris once and clitoral twice. I could take lessons from the professor about teasing Nat by emphasizing her lack of a clitoris. Well, I mean I was taking lessons, or would be next semester, but about human sexuality not Nat's sexuality. I was now even more sure that the professor was being, not sarcastic, I don't know the word, but kind of not teasing Nat in an unprofessional way, but being clinical to the point of actually teasing her? I'm probably reading too much into it, I'm sure the professor isn't doing it consciously. Hmm, how many times can I fit clit words in a sentence about Nat. Her clitoral lack of a clitoris following her clitoridectomy leaving her clitless? Whatever, I'm not a poet.

My mental wandering must have taken longer than I thought, both Nat and the professor were looking at me. I coughed lightly to clear my throat and spoke "Okay, so we were back in our room, our shared room on the exchange, ready to remove the dressing. I was still pretty pissed off at Nat for having tried to push me to get what I thought would have been just removal of my own clitoral hood, and she was I think both wanting to apologize, but also excited about how she'd look and feel. I was excited also, though I was annoyed enough to try not to show it, I still wanted to see what she looked like and wanted to suck, lick, and nibble at her now permanently exposed giant clit. Once she had recovered enough for sex which I thought would be 8 to 10 days at least. I mean, I'm trying to remember what I thought and how I was feeling before I saw and realized just what had been done, Nat's clitoridectomy." Hey, I was still using clit and clitoridectomy and clitoral at a lower average per sentence than the professor.

Nat spoke up "Before Jane continues, I was feeling pretty excited also, I mean I felt sore but had been taking ibuprofen, I didn't want to take the other pills I'd been given, the ones for pain relief and which I thought had made me pass out, I threw them out before we came back from Berlin. Stupid, if I'd kept them they could have been analyzed and maybe supported a case against Hilda and the others depending on what they drugged me with, and if they'd been something serious could have gotten police involved in tracking her down since would make clear that what happened wasn't just a mistake but drugging me, but at the time I of course didn't know what happened and just didn't want to be tempted to take something unknown. The other set of pills were an antibiotic, amoxicilin from the label, that had been prescribed as one a day for a week. Most of the label had been scraped off, probably by Hilda to remove identifying information about the doctor, just like she'd kept the prescription and consent form, but I could still see amoxicilin, which I'd looked up to confirm it was a form of penicillin, and 1 and a slash and a d which I assumed meant one per day and from what I looked up made sense. This was all before the dressing was removed that I'd looked this stuff up, even though I didn't suspect what had been done to me I did think I'd been given pills previously by Hilda to knock me out or at least leave me pretty much senseless."

I was glad that Nat's voice and behaviour seemed to have returned to normal, though knowing her I could tell she was talking about medication and stuff to delay my starting to talk about the discovery. As terrible as her clitoridectomy was, and being recorded on video, she wasn't aware at the time what was happening and was numbed during the procedure. Once the dressing was removed though, that's when the nightmare really started. I mean, yes she engages in fantasy and being teased by me now, but that's a coping mechanism, she's not one of those women who secretly fantasized about being an orgasmless slave. No, anorgasmic, the professor said anorgasmia or anorgasmic, I'll have to remember to use that more clinical word, maybe something like, Natalie, your clitoridectomy has rendered you anorgasmic, without sufficient clitoral tissue remaining it is impossible for you to reach orgasm. I'll work on it, I'll do better when next teasing Nat! But not now, this is still the most terrible part to come, the discovery, the realization of what happened.

"No more delaying Nat, I'll do the talking at least to begin with, so the professor hears about discovering your clitoridectomy from my point of view, and then she'll want to hear yours. We discussed this, you thought that overall it would be helpful to you and fuel our fantasies, your therapist that you met with under the student coverage supports your approach, if it's too much for you we'll leave, but we both thought it would be better to just go ahead and push through this." Nat didn't say anything but nodded at me with a more determined look on her face than she'd had for the last few minutes, and I continued.

"So professor, we were upset with each other but there was a printed note, not from the doctor or at least not on letterhead I think Hilda had printed it, saying after care, one antibiotic pill per day, ibuprofen as needed, use warm water to loosen dressing, remove carefully and wash with gentle soap and water, avoid sex, masturbating, douching, avoid alcohol while taking antibiotic, use pads to avoid spotting from surgical site or as needed for period carefully for at least 8-10 days. Not that periods were a concern for a while given we controlled them as we mentioned with oral contraceptives, but at the time we were looking forward to sex after 10 days, and Nat eating me out as soon as we got through our argument. I mean, that's how I was thinking. So I got a pitcher of warm water from the bathroom, had a washcloth and some towels handy, as well as a box of pantiliners I'd bought. As annoyed as I still was, I still wanted to enjoy the experience and figured we'd be over our fight in a few days at most, Nat was fine with me taking photos and video, I started recording her as she stripped down to her panties, then carefully pulled them down slightly exposing a white dressing, and she sat on the edge of the bed. At this point, we were both still excited, no clue what we were about to find out."