Guest Speaker

"Professor, we talked a bit about the research we both did starting while still on exchange, and then after returning, and Nat even before this first bondage had encouraged me to keep on surfing the web looking for stuff for clitless talk and roleplays?" The professor was nodding before I finished my question so I just continued. "For both of us, stuff involving women who were mutilated as girls or teenagers is not a turn-on, not even in fantasy about Nat, the only reason we looked at any of that material, porn or women discussing it, is because we were looking for what sort of techniques women without a clitoris, or with a damaged clitoris, used in terms of sexual pleasure and for some, what they were able to do to orgasm. For those able to orgasm, it was generally either they still had part of their clit, or had reconstructive surgery, or could come from penetration or g spot stimulation, or could come from stimulation of the clitoral scar area, especially with a strong vibrator. We had tried, with and without bondage, the penetration and g spot stimulation and strong vibration of the clitoral scar area, and as we discussed possible reconstructive surgery would have to wait for us to see the effects of androgel after a year and possible longer if need injections. So that could be as late as after our third year of college, and by then we might as well just wait another year until we graduated. I mean we've talked about this, our student insurance covered consultations but not reconstructive surgery when not part of gender reassignment, so we'd need for Nat to get a job with good insurance, or me to get one with coverage for her, or save money, or ask Nat's parents. I mean, they would help of course and they could afford to, but it's kind of a difficult discussion to have!"

The professor spoke up, "I'm not a parental relationship expert, but maybe it would be a good idea without going into details for Nat to say something like, she was assaulted in Europe, got legal advice and it doesn't seem likely that those involved can be caught, and while mostly okay she was injured and is ongoing treatment, it is possible that in a few years surgical help may be warranted, but you would rather not discuss details unless or until you might be asking for help. Just a thought."

Nat's eyes widened a bit and she said "Thanks professor, I'll think about that and talk to Jane about it." She then looked at me, inviting me to continue talking.

Hmm, interesting, honest but not revealing too much embarrassing information to her parents. I mean, being in a relationship with Nat my parents would I'm sure help also, as long as our relationship seemed stable, like if we had moved in together more permanently not just as students or if we got married. But back to sexy talk. "The sorts of topics that turned Nat, and as I admitted, me, on the most related not to women who could orgasm despite a clitoridectomy or other genital mutilation, sometimes much more serious, but to women who were unable to orgasm. I mean the stuff from women who could orgasm was useful for techniques and giving us both hope, but not so much for fantasies and talking. For that, fictional stories or possibly true stories but likely fictional, or I hope fictional for their sake, about women who were unable to orgasm since their clitoridectomy were the biggest turn ons. We did also watch stuff with women in chastity belts or much more rarely with clit shields, and read stories about both, but neither of us really found much inspiration in stories about women who still had their clits, unless of course it was a story about the clit being damaged or injured or burned or injected and the woman being unable to come, permanently or at least for a long time. Kind of ironic I guess, we want Nat to come, but the biggest turn on and what we use to try to get to that point is stories and talking about Nat as if she will never come again. Videos with clit torture, especially burning or painful vibration or even a few we've seen with an emery board or sandpaper, can be exciting, we generally turn it into a fantasy about either damaging the clit until orgasm is impossible, or play getting out of hand and then medical treatment, a clitoridectomy, being required. Oh, one other thing we both liked, I know because we've talked about it, is women who were unable to come since their clitoridectomy but still talked about having a healthy sex life and what they enjoyed about sex even without being able to reach orgasm. Some stuff about women who were paralyzed enjoying sex was also interesting, apparently some women who are paralyzed can still experience orgasm because there's another nerve pathway, I think the vagus nerve that even spinal injury may not block, but of course those women still have their clits, unlike Nat here." I looked at her and smiled as part of my tease, "Nat, who can walk and run but not come." Apologies to anyone who's offended, I'm not trying to make fun of people with disabilities, I'm trying to make fun of Nat! I continued, "I even found one woman, or claimed to be a woman, I couldn't find it again too much late night surfing I guess and it's not like I made notes, who said she wrote fiction about women without clits or who couldn't orgasm as a way of dealing with her own situation of being unable to come because of what had been done to her, sounded a bit like Nat trying to use fantasy and talking and teasing about her situation to deal with it and experience sexual pleasure and hopefully, one day, orgasm. Though of course except in serious talks I pretend in our sex life and roleplaying like it's a good thing that Nat had her clit removed and can't come. Anyway," I know, I know "after our bondage session and taking a nap, we had a nice lunch and watched some shows, we were each surfing a bit while watching and not talking to much but comfortable with each other, I had already of course done a lot of searching on these topics and I was making some notes about things to try talking about with Nat. More recently I've tried some AI, but maybe because I'm not an expert at what prompts to use, what I've gotten back in terms of stories or suggested dialog has just been too creepy, video the same thing. Maybe we'll get better results later. But when I was preparing for Nat, I thought of a couple of different approaches to try. One was, like I was discovering for the first time, like in a new relationship not like with our horrible discovery, about Nat being clitless and then learning she couldn't come. And then either being all sympathetic and trying new stuff, or alternatively, acting like it was a big turn on and I wanted to be in a relationship with a clitless slut who couldn't come. Then another approach was, I specifically looked online for a clitless partner who couldn't come, or I bought a clitless slave, or bought a slave and cut out her clit. That last one overlaps with the fantasy or roleplay about making Nat get a clitoridectomy, out of jealousy about the size of her clit or ability to come so easily, or because I was tired of her being the dom and wanted to switch and the only way was to take her clit. In this variation I would either persuade Nat to get a clitoridectomy, trick her, or force her, like in a drugging her situation. Or the creepiest, pretend like I had been given Hilda's contact info without Nat realizing it, and contacted her after Nat had left, encouraging her, or bribing her, or however I did it, getting her to trick Nat and deliberately make her get a clitoridectomy instead of just a hood removal, by creating confusion over what female circumcision in this context meant. Believe me, the last version creeped me out enough that I had to talk to Nat about it before trying it, before trying any of these, to make sure she was okay with it."

The professor turned to Nat and asked her, "How did you feel, sexually at least, about these fantasies when Jane talked to you, I mean before trying them out on you but talking about the kinds of things she might try?"

Nat admitted "I've never been so turned on in my life as I have with all of Jane's teasing me about my clitoridectomy, being clitless, and unable to orgasm. I mean as terrible as what happened to me was, and as turned on and as orgasmic as I used to be, I had found it difficult to just get turned on and horny without then having an orgasm, either with Jane or masturbating myself to relieve the pressure. Even after I started using androgel, before my clitoridectomy I mean, my libido went out of control but I was never horny for long before I found a way to relieve myself with an orgasm. If in public I'd find a washroom and quickly bring myself off, I learned to carry a clean washcloth in my purse, no one seeing it would think anything sexual about it, but I would roll it up and bite on it if I needed to masturbate to orgasm in a stall, without being too loud. If I was driving somewhere with Jane, I'd just masturbate. Unless I was driving, of course, then I'd take the next exit, stop and switch places with Jane, or if there was a private area get her to eat me out quickly, or if not practical, depending upon what was there we'd stop at a place with a washroom while Jane ordered something. I've read stories about women masturbating or having a vibrator while driving, that seemed immoral to me, endangering everyone on the road, it's like drunk driving." We both took impaired driving very seriously, no immediate family member or close friend we'd lost, just we'd seen too many stories about people killed by drunk drivers. "It was so easy for me to orgasm, if my horniness got out of control, it never took long for me to take care of the problem. But now that I can't come, and can't quickly stimulate my clitoris, I mean I still get excited from stimulating my lips and clit scar and pubic area and with penetration, my nipples have always been nicely sensitive, but now everything I do instead of relieving my sexual tension, builds it up even more, I get more and more turned on the more I try. Up to a certain point. Then, to get past that point, I either need to fantasize intensely about my clitoridectomy or being clitless and unable to orgasm, or best of all, have Jane tease me about all of it. And teasing me about how she was involved in tricking me into getting a clitoridectomy instead of just hood removal, is a great fantasy, I mean for variety it's not something we try all the time, and I don't want Jane to overuse it, I don't want to get bored of it or used to it, but right now the thought, the talk, the fantasy, that Jane tricked me into getting my clit cut out and becoming unable to come for the rest of my life gets me so horny. I mean, not really, but I can understand and sort of pretend, that it was worth it getting a clitoridectomy just for how turned on and horny I get, with no release from orgasm. It makes me think that at least some of the stories I've read, or Jane has read, supposedly from women who say they like the buildup of sexual tension without the pressure of having to orgasm, or being in a relationship where it's all about serving their partner, may be true. Unfortunately most of the stories I've come across are a woman with a male partner, I mean sometimes if they're well written and exciting enough I'm still turned on by them, especially if I skip the parts talking about the guy's penis and focus on the parts of the story talking about the women trying to come, or being unable to come, or how terrible she feels about being unable to come, but rare as it is stories about dominant women making other women, or tricking them, to lose their clits and become unable to orgasm are the best."

The professor had been nodding as Nat talked, acknowledging what she was saying, and when Nat stopped, she asked, "Thank you for sharing that with me, it's interesting and while not unheard of for women to turn a trauma into fantasy, like some victims of sexual assault, I haven't met or read reliable accounts of a woman who did that with her clitoridectomy. I've come across some of the same kinds of stories or scenarios the two of you have, though you're both probably more expert than me in this specific area since you're focused on clitoridectomy and anorgasmia fantasies and stories specifically, as opposed to my focus on human sexuality generally. Interestingly it seems far more common for their to be stories about male fantasies of castration or penectomy, but while that's of academic interest to me, you two seem much less interested in men." The professor smiled slightly at that comment, maybe because both Nat and I were nodding, and continued "from the discussion about bondage without any verbal teasing or comments about your clitoridectomy, Natalie, it sounds like you were still sexually aroused, just not as much as when Jane also teases you verbally?" At Nat's nod, the professor continued "So then it seems that you have a clitoridectomy kink, Natalie, not a fetish. Talking about or fantasizing about your missing clitoris, or being anorgasmic, increases your sexual arousal significantly, but you don't require it to be sexually aroused, as you would if it were more of a fetish." Nat nodded again and the professor again spoke "I do wonder, from what you've said you haven't involved other people in talking to Nat about this, I'm curious if you've tried roleplaying online anonymously with someone teasing Nat, I mean they would probably assume it's purely fantasy not a real woman with a clitoridectomy, or using computer text to voice to simulate a different person teasing you, Natalie, about your clitoridectomy? And for that matter, while you've both said that you prefer lesbian porn and stories, given that the doctor who performed your clitoridectomy was male, might a roleplay with a male or person pretending to be male, or a computerized voice presenting as male, be something that might interest you? I'm not trying to push you to try anything, I'm just curious if you have tried this, or if you do in future, I'd be interested in knowing the results."

I looked at Nat, she looked at me, I gestured for her to talk. "While I don't know if we've tried exactly that, in my fantasies and what Jane says in roleplay, is always about a woman, her or someone else, making me get a clitoridectomy. Or tricking me into it. Or starting a relationship with me, a clitless woman. Or maybe even cutting me herself if the fantasy is someone with enough skill. I mean, I know sadly from what I've read it's dangerous for someone without medical expertise to do it, maybe knowing that I don't have fantasies of it being something an amateur could safely do. But it doesn't really matter if it's a male or female performing the clitoridectomy surgery, so long as a woman is causing it to be done to me. I don't think a male voice would be a turn on, I mean I'd still be turned on talking about clitoridectomy and my clit being gone and stuff, just less than I would if it were Jane or I guess another female voice."

The professor had continued nodding during this and asked another question "Again not suggesting you try something but curious if you have, I think you would have mentioned it if you had, any involvement of other women in your sex life, or verbal teasing or roleplaying so far? I mean in person, not just in a possible online roleplay? Jane, you made a suggestion about having Natalie in a sex club situation with other people, was that a serious thought or just fantasy, and Natalie, how do you feel about it? Maybe you should respond first, Natalie."

Nat thought for a second, a slight frown on her face, not a frown of unhappiness but about thinking. Thinking, not RBF! "For a special occasion, like we talked about with Jane losing her virginity with a dog and then having sex with a man, I'd be open to trying something. Like, maybe even a fantasy reenactment of my clitoridectomy on the anniversary of it happening? I know I wouldn't be ready for that now, but maybe by then I will be?" Wow, Nat and I communicated well with each other, or at least I thought we did, about sex and other things, but I was learning more about what turned her on here from our talk with the professor. Good to know I could push the envelope of our fantasies at least a lot more, and we could talk about extending the physical aspects and possibly involving other people. "As for the sex club suggestion, I think as long as Jane was involved I'd be good with it, I liked the thought of Jane playing with me as requested by others at first more, but then I thought, if it was women only, and especially if they could pretend to be all judgmental about me and how stupid I was, and teasing me, that would be fun. I'd said how I had the impression that was probably wrong that women doctors were judging me, but in a sexual group context I'd like to actually be teased and judged, or pretend judged, that way. But from our relationship talks, before and after our clitoridectomy, we're monogamous but not opposed to, in appropriate circumstances, involving someone else. But we would both have to agree beforehand, and it would have to be with someone or a group we both trusted, or if with strangers like at a sex club it would have to be more anonymous and we'd have to be satisfied it was safe."

The professor spoke up "Understood. Unless there is something significant either of you can think of now, I think I've heard enough. You've shared the types of fantasies and roleplaying you engage in enough for me to understand, I don't need to hear a specific reenactment of the last time you had sex. It's been very interesting to me, as an academic and as a woman, to hear about your experiences and I thank you both for sharing them with me. Even if you both also enjoyed yourselves as part of your kink, yes kink Natalie not fetish! I think it would be valuable for my class to have you as a guest speaker next term Natalie, and I'll follow-up with you sometime after the start of classes to discuss scheduling. I want to emphasize, it will totally be up to you, you haven't committed to anything. Jane you'll be a student but your marks will not benefit in any way from having Natalie as a guest speaker, and Natalie the only benefit to you aside from your fantasies" the professor smiled slightly at this "would be the honorarium, which this being a college, is not a lot of money. And, again, if you are willing to speak, we can discuss closer to the date the format it will take, whether or not any video is shown, whether background information is presented in writing and you just answer questions, something different, we will figure something out." We were both nodding at this, the professor continued, "I'll consider whether or not I would want to watch the video of your clitoridectomy, Natalie, and again even if I'm interested it will be your decision whether to show it to me. I probably won't decide until again, early next term, since I'll also check with our college legal department about whether it would be okay to show it to the class. Of course even if you show it to me you're not committing to show it to the class, even if I think it would be useful, totally up to you. I will be following up regarding the video and being a guest speaker only with you, Natalie. I'm fine with you sharing or discussing my follow-up with you with Jane, I'm fine if we meet again and you bring Jane along, but this is your decision, your story, and you are my primary and sole concern, not what Jane may want."

Nat nodded and I said "Of course."

"One last thing, and I don't want you to answer now. As I said this has been a very informative and interesting discussion, valuable to me even if you, Natalie, decide not to be a guest speaker. We had discussed the possibility of you involving another person, or persons. Because of my research and discussions, I meet with many people and have discussions even if they don't end up being a guest speaker. There's someone I know who I think it might be interesting to both of you to introduce you to, given the switch dynamic in your relationship, and what you were saying about, in appropriate circumstances, involving someone else. If you might be interested let me know, and don't answer now, wait at least a few days, and if I never hear from you on this topic I won't bring it up again. But if you are interested, I would tell this person that there's someone I think they might want to contact. And neither of you nor this other person would be provided with any information about the other without explicitly agreeing to it. I'm not a matchmaker, it's just that you've both been very helpful to me here, even if it also turned you on, and if everybody agrees I don't mind facilitating a contact. Don't answer now, I look forward to following up with you, Natalie, next term about being a guest speaker, and Jane, I look forward to having you in my class, though obviously I won't be acknowledging that we've met and had a discussion. Thank you and goodbye, for now at least."

With that we nodded and smiled a bit, maybe less than we would have if not for wondering about that last potential introduction the professor had talked about and why she was bringing it up. We were both surprised enough that neither of us remembered to have Nat wipe the chair she'd been sitting in. It was a vinyl or leatherette chair, not fabric, so it was pretty obvious she'd been turned on, but hey, the professor knew she'd been turned on already. I was embarrassed when after we'd left we looked at each other and I said "the chair", and Nat's eyes widened and she looked back but I just said, "too late, let's go home".

Will we ask the professor for the mystery introduction? Will the professor watch the video of Nat's clitoridectomy and if so will she show it to her class? Will Nat be a guest speaker? Will there be a field trip to examine Nat at a sex club? You'll find out eventually, if you keep reading and I keep writing. Well, except for whether we ask the professor for an introduction to the mystery person. Whether we do or don't, I think I'll be writing about what our sex life was like after our meeting with Professor Barbara Gale and some of the things Nat and I had learned about the extent of our fantasies, and most importantly, that Nat was okay with me being turned on by her clitoridectomy, she liked that it wasn't just about me forcing myself to support her fantasies about clitlessness and anorgasmia. Or to put it more crudely, about Nat being a clitless cumless cunt, perpetually and permanently horny because of androgel, whose focus in life was now to service my huge, pierced clit, and bring me to orgasms, since she couldn't have any more herself. Forever.

Hey, Nat reads this too, I have to make sure to tease her even without speaking!

THE END (for now!)