Guest Speaker

"Sorry to interrupt," interrupted the professor, "but just to be clear, please don't feel the need to discuss your arguments in detail. What is relevant to my research is more, how did you first discover that being teased about your clitoridectomy was a turn on, your encouragement of Jane teasing you about it, and how far you've taken your teasing. So I would really like you to talk about, not so much focusing on your argument but more, the key aspect where you made your discovery. And then, don't worry about jumping ahead in time, if you can discuss the development of your sexual interest, I'll call it that rather than kink or fetish for now, how it's developed over time. If acceptable to you, Natalie, this is one area where I'd like Jane to add her thoughts as you discuss the development of your sexual interest, how she reacted to it. Both I, and my class, would find it interesting to learn about how someone may develop their own interest in their partner's sexual interest. I am correct, am I not, Jane, that it is not merely a matter of helping Natalie, that you enjoy teasing her?" I was momentarily taken aback when the professor turned to me for the last bit.

I'm not sure if I was blushing, but I think I was, more out of embarrassment about how Nat might feel than about the professor. "Umm, yes, professor, it's become a bit of a, no not a bit of a, a huge turnon for me to tease Nat, to act like a pillow princess sometimes and tell her how she just needs to service me since it's a waste of time doing anything to her. I do, I mean she can't come, I mean orgasm, but I still like to bring her what sexual pleasure she can experience, but I'll sometimes roleplay like I'm not going to do it any more or do it halfheartedly and then sigh in frustration. I mean, I hope Nat knows that of course I never wanted this to happen to her or anyone, but since it did, and since Nat wanted me to tease her at first, I started really getting into it, Nat I'm sorry, I"

Nat interrupted me, "Dont be an idiot, you think I couldn't tell from how aroused you get and your killer orgasms how this, how me being clitless and orgasmless, anorgasmic, turns you on? I'm glad it does, that you're not forcing yourself to do something unpleasant just for me, and I really appreciate the effort you put in, before you realized it aroused you so much, to tease me the way I asked you to." Despite the topic she was smiling at me, I felt relieved. Nat turned to the professor and said "Okay so I won't talk too much about the non-sexual aspects of our arguments, or I'll try not to, but I think I need to kind of at least summarize how things started that first Thursday, and then how it developed once we flew back here and amid the specialist consultations and my being free to have sex again as I recovered."

The professor nodded and said, "Please go ahead, and as I said, for this part I would like to here from Jane also. And both of you, please don't feel the need to edit your word choice. If it feels more natural to talk about being clitless rather than having had a clitoridectomy, or orgasmless or cumless rather than anorgasmic, please do so. If I got offended at word choices I picked the wrong subject to become a professor in!" she smiled a bit at the last bit.

Nat nodded and began "So I was feeling pretty bitchy, I mean understandable given what had happened, and despite our previous argument and me running off secretly the consequences were so terrible that of course Jane wasn't calling me on my behaviour and didn't continue our argument or silent treatment. But once we were back after lunch, I was nasty and pushed Jane until she responded nastily. Understandable, but her angry response gave us our first clues about teasing me. Back in our room I quickly changed, I mean took my bra off and put a t-shirt on, so just shirt and panties, took an ibuprofen, I'm calling it that because it wasn't Advil it was generic, and said something about how Jane didn't have to have wine at lunch when I couldn't. And then said something about her drinking too much and it leading to stupid decisions. And then I said something like, if she had just agreed to get circumcised, by which I meant have her clit hood removed, that we would have been together and nothing would have happened to me. And then Jane blew up." Nat closed her eyes for a second, thinking back. "I mean she'd been letting me treat her unfairly, and until then also I'd been more dominant in our relationship, but she just lost it. She said something like, it was me being a brainless drunk stupid blond being all slutty and stupid with strangers and sneaking out alone that led to me becoming a clitless cumless cunt. I remember that last bit especially, Jane's not always good with words but when she gets angry she can be almost poetic." Nat smiled despite the seriousness of the topic and continued. "We looked at each other and I could see Jane was horrified by what she'd said and was thinking of fleeing from our room, but I quickly grabbed her in a hug and said something like I was being a bitch, don't worry about it. But it was while I was hugging her that we both realized, or I realized and then pulled away from the hug and looked down and Jane realized also, my nipples were incredibly stiff. I mean, I know they get more erect with sexual arousal, but I literally could not remember when they had been this stiff, this hard, outside of sex. And during sex I was always pretty distracted, or had been until then anyway. Then Jane looked down and said, she sounded surprised, something like, are you turned on? I didn't realize what she meant at first, I mean I was still swollen after the surgery, the clitoridectomy" Nat was getting better at saying that word, and was deliberately saying it more I thought, "and of course I had no more big clit to get erect, but then I put my hand down and realized there was a huge wet spot in my panties. And thinking about it, I thought, yeah, I'm excited."

I spoke up "Yes I had gotten really angry and blew up at Nat, unfairly, but she was so understanding, and then as she said we both realized she was really turned on. I said something like, you just had surgery we can't, and she nodded and said something like, don't worry about what you said, I pushed you, and weirdly it looks like it turned me on? Let's just drop this for now and once we're back home and I can do something, we'll talk about it again. But in the meantime, and Nat said she was sorry to ask me, she said that she didn't really have the willpower to look at more of the stuff we'd been looking at the day before about sexual consequences of clitoridectomy and surgery options and stuff, or even worse the sexual fantasies about stuff like men with women that couldn't come anymore, but she'd like me to spend some more time looking at all that stuff so that after we were back, if she asked me, I could do a roleplay or pretend being angry again or something."

Nat nodded and continued "We've talked a bit about the medical advice I got when meeting with specialists back here, fortunately the scope of what I was talking to them about fit closely enough within the scope of genital surgery for gender reassignment to be covered under the student health plan, or at least for the consultation to be covered, not so much any surgery. Or maybe they were sympathetic enough when they got the basics of what happened to me to meet me regardless. Basically it's like we said before, reconstructive surgery may be an option, but having examined me and watched the video of my clitoridectomy to judge exactly what had been done, I was told that it looked like a very thorough, professional job had been done." Nat frowned and continued "I can understand the bad news but I keep on getting annoyed by having my clitoridectomy, that, that, being described as a professional job! Anyway" Nat wasn't as bad as me with that word but had come to use anyway more probably picking it up from me, "with one of them in discussing my medical history they had a thought, that androgel which we'd both been using to stimulate clitoral growth, might help grow whatever clitoral tissue might remain after my clitoridectomy." Nat was teasing herself here and using clit words a lot! "The downside of course would be not just the side effects which we discussed again, but that the specific side effect of increased libido would probably be even more frustrating to me unless I would be able to orgasm. The doctor, this last one I liked the most despite being male like the one who did this to me, perhaps unfairly I thought women doctors were judging me for being stupid, seemed quite sympathetic. And of course, applying androgel topically, and in doses low enough to hopefully not cause excessive facial hair growth and other side effects, would take time, before I could be reassessed and they decided whether anything had happened, if there had been enough clitoral tissue remaining to experience growth, and if reconstructive surgery was a more viable prospect. And if there didn't seem to be growth, then maybe injections rather than topical treatment should be tried, but that carried an increased risk of side effects like voice change and hair growth. So right now we're still in the phase, they recommended a visit after a year, of seeing whether topical treatment helps. Oh, and of course I asked about sexual activity once I was healed and was basically told, try anything including strong vibrators on the clitoral area, penetration, whatever, but no tattoos or piercings or electrolysis in the pubic, genital area. So Jane's description of a potential tattoo for me there is just a fantasy unless, if eventually nothing can be done. On good days I'm okay if that's the case, I mean I otherwise have my health, Jane's great, I enjoy sexual play even without orgasm, but on bad days, my stupidity and my inability to come are so frustrating I could cry. And I do. But it turns out, that's also when I like being teased and dominated the most by Jane, it gets me out of my funk."

"I'll want to hear your perspective as well Jane, but if I may summarize, please confirm, Natalie, that this is the situation. One, since your clitoridectomy your are anorgasmic, you cannot orgasm despite everything you've tried. Two, doctors are skeptical whether reconstructive surgery will help, but there may be a chance, and that chance is improved if there is enough remaining clitoral tissue to experience growth either from topical application of androgel or, if that doesn't work, possibly injections. Three, you still enjoy sex with Jane, and specifically enjoy being teased about your clitoridectomy, not having a clitoris, not being able to orgasm, and so forth, and Jane enjoys teasing you about it. Assuming that is all correct" we were both nodding without saying anything, the professor saw and continued "before you discuss your experience Jane, I should say, obviously since you will be a student it would be difficult to have you also be a speaker while retaining some degree of anonymity even if you were willing, assuming Natalie is willing to speak, and from all we have discussed I think it would be valuable for the class, we would probably summarize your views as part of the written background provided to the class. Or maybe we'd even do it as, everything presented in writing, and have a question and answer session with Natalie. We can discuss that later, I just wanted to reassure you, Jane, that while I want to hear your perspective, it's not because I expect you to say anything in class about it. After you talk, Jane, I'll probably want to ask you both some more detailed questions about your sex life and specifically ask you, Natalie, about your current masturbation habits and things you may have tried since your clitoridectomy. But for now, Jane, please give your perspective on getting started with teasing Natalie about her clitoridectomy and inability to orgasm. Since it might come up as I mentioned in background, I would appreciate, if you're willing, to discuss specifics of your fantasies and roleplaying with Natalie around the topic, as well as of course your sexual behaviour and what you've tried, either with the goal of orgasm or just in service to the fantasy and sexual pleasure without the expectation of orgasm. Or to put it more bluntly, I want to hear about both what you've done to try to make Natalie orgasm, and what you've done just to tease her and engage in sexual play with no expectation of her reaching orgasm, if that makes sense to you.

I nodded and began.