Guest Speaker

"Okay, so physically, sexually, we tried oral sex, licking what's left, plus vibrators and similar toys. Neither of us is into anal but we tried butt plugs and anal vibrators, anal beads and vibrating ones. Basically blew our fun money for the year on different toys, no vacation this year over the holidays or next spring break. I mean, already had a few and all the bondage stuff, but we needed more things to try to help Nat. Hitachi vibrator, you know the kind you plug into the wall with," the professor nodded, she obviously knew what I was talking about so I continued, "g spot vibrators that are curled to try to stimulate it, normal vibrators, vibrators on the nipples, clips on the nipples, screw on earrings on the nipples to adjust pressure, and we tried the same things, clips and screw on earrings, on nat's labia, inner and outer. We also had me use a strap-on with Nat, with and without all the anal and nipple stuff. We've tried all this stuff in combination. What we haven't tried so far, because of opportunity and what we think will or won't work well based on past experience, is having a man involved, and having a dog involved. A man, both because Nat's not really turned on by men, even in roleplays with a strapon we can both tell she's less into it, and because it would be tough to find someone who we could trust to keep confidential Nat's condition while also playing into her fantasy and talking about her being clitless and everything. I mean men can be jerks who don't notice a woman's clit even if she has one, if it was just the typical penis in vagina or anal sex no problem we could find a guy who'd be into it and not notice, but if we want him to be talking about how much fun it is to fuck a girl who's not distracted by trying to play with her clit while being fucked doggy style, who's not distracted by her own orgasms or something, they're not going to be ignorant, they'd need to be someone we really trusted not to talk about Nat. Or maybe a sex worker in another place, like if we were on another trip and went to a place like where we had the dog sex, and they also had men available like we had for me like we talked about. Or I had the idea of displaying Nat at a sex club here, not with someone in your class but I'm sure there'd be guys happy to fuck Nat's clitless cumless cunt." I used the same phrase Nat had when quoting me from that first argument, being past the most emotionally devastating parts of Nat's narrative, I was back to teasing her even while talking with the professor.

Nat added "Initially we were still doing the me being dominant, telling Jane what to do, fuck your mistress, lick my nipples while fucking me, use the vibrator while licking me, why are you so clumsy can't you coordinate using two hands and a mouth on different parts of me, that kind of stuff. But that didn't seem to turn on either of us the way me being a dom used to before."

With the reminder, I talked about the shift in our relationship. "Yes, we already had the bondage gear, we hadn't used it since we returned since I had always been the one restrained and now we were focused more on me being free to try to bring Nat to orgasm. So we picked new safe words for both of us, the ones we haven't told you, not like the original potato one for me, and decided to try sex with me in charge. No verbal teasing or roleplay yet, though I'd kept up with my research. Oh, I mean about specifics of clitoridectomy and fantasy stories and how to tease Nat if and when she was ready, nothing about school. When we returned, with the exchange we got back well before this school year started, after first year and when we knew we'd be going on exchange we found a place off campus, shared house, Nat and I having a single larger master bedroom with its own washroom, spending more for it but with two of us in the same room we're able to afford it, turns out a bit cheaper. We found a place that was happy to rent to us starting in August instead of September for a discounted rate since normally much less summer demand, tourists like nicer places to stay, it's okay for students but not really airbnb worthy! Also meant that we didn't have other people there yet, didn't have to worry about being quiet at any time, not that Nat could say much when gagged, but I needed her mouth free to service my own big clit, that I still have, and it's wonderful!" Was I laying it on too thick? No, looking at Nat she was still into this, and the professor by now didn't even roll her eyes at my behaviour, she'd gotten used to it. Sexy talk for social science! Anyway, obligatory aargh, back to our discussion.

The professor did interrupt me for another reason though. "Safe words for both of you? Not asking what they are, but before only you, Jane had one because Nat wasn't bound, but are both because you still want Nat to sometimes tie you up?"

I resumed, "No, I mean that was part of what we were thinking when we chose it, and maybe we'll try it sometime, me being a totally restrained pillow princess who can do nothing but receive sexual pleasure, but it was more, we were thinking that when we got into more roleplaying and me teasing Nat, which you've heard some of but I mean in the bedroom or in public, that Nat might be pushing me to say something to her that I wasn't comfortable with." The professor nodded silently and I continued. "So the first time, speaking of being a pillow princess, throughout our relationship before then sometimes that had been Nat, I mean she was good to me and sometimes the focus was mostly on my pleasure, but either in a bondage or she was in charge kind of way. Sometimes if she was tired, and she didn't overdo it, she'd tell me just to service her, that's how she put it, sometimes more specifics like start with my nipples, okay lick around my lips but don't touch my clit yet, I know it's so big it's hard to miss but be careful I want to be teased first, okay kiss my clit then start licking it gently, okay now suck it hard, hard, bite gently, lick my clit while sucking you stupid bitch, don't bite too hard or I'll hurt you, faster, buzz me, and so on. Obviously that was from before, when Nat was in charge and had a clit, before she became the first woman in my harem. I mean only woman in my harem." I licked my lips, this time the professor did roll here eyes deliberately but didn't say anything, I looked at Nat and she was smiling a bit while looking at me with only one eye, her other eye closed, like she does when she knows I'm deliberately being over the top, but her smile says she's okay with it. "To be clear, any hurting was not severe, it was consensual, if I was gagged and couldn't say anything while we were doing something we had other ways we'd read about that we used, like three quick grunts through the gag meant stop for a second and then if three long grunts it was take the gag out. We tried having the ball in hand and if too much let go to drop it, but I always got too turned on to keep holding the ball, or I was gripping it too tightly and then my hand was sore and I couldn't use it to service Nat properly. But now with clitless Nat it's different. I talked about physically, sexually the toys and stuff we tried, then the first time Nat wanted to try to be the one in bondage, she started by telling, no asking, me to try to be in charge of our life more generally, like she had been before. I started out overcompensating, and we're still of course consensual, we were always both pretty talkative with friends so I don't think anything to notice there, it would be more small things like before Nat would be like, hey, how about seeing this movie tonight, or going to a specific place for dinner and then when we were there suggesting what both of us would order. Saying what she wanted us to do, not asking me so much. Which I was fine with, she always had good ideas and wasn't pushy if I wanted to do something else, but it was presented as, here's the plan, any objections?" Nat was looking at me a bit surprised, I spoke up about what I realized "Okay, maybe I wasn't as okay with Nat being in charge outside the bedroom, but that was more about me not speaking up. Now, me being in charge of everyday stuff would be more like, me telling Nat I'm in a mood for a fun movie or a sad movie or action or whatever, what does she suggest, she's in charge of finding something to entertain me but because she makes the suggestion she still has control?"

"I think we're getting more into human relationships than human sexuality here" interrupted the professor.

"Sorry, you're right, there is some non-sex stuff that relates to teasing Nat, I'll try to limit it to that. Before I get back to the bedroom, though, obviously if we're alone even in a public restaurant or something, I can tease Nat verbally much more than when we're with a group, as long as I'm not too loud. Like any of the stuff we've talked about here would be fair game. But in a group, it's tougher, but I still push things a bit. Like when we're talking about Handmaid's Tale with some friends, I'll ask what they think about how Ofglen coped after her clitoridectomy, what do they think she tried to experience pleasure, and then specifically call out Nat for what she thinks. Or after Nat and I watched the movie Poor Things, that was a weird one, I don't think either of us knew about the attempted clitoridectomy scene before we watched it, but once we saw it, believe me I asked Nat questions and rewound the scene, we saw it at home. But then when we were out with some of our more artistic friends, I mentioned that we'd seen it recently and asked if they had and I could talk about it without spoiling it for them, they told me to go ahead and I talked about the clitoridectomy scene and what if it had turned out differently, and was thinking back to Handmaid's Tale, that sort of stuff, and making sure to ask Nat her opinion. Or about how I'm not vegetarian or vegan, but I have reduced the amount of flesh I eat dramatically, that it seems okay for me but Nat's having a difficult time with it. All verbal, pushing Nat's buttons, not her missing button, but I wouldn't feel comfortable doing something like sucking on a piece of pasta and saying how nice it is to suck and gently bite into a big piece of something al dente, both hard and soft, and how I can't remember the last time I did that. I mean, I've done that with Nat when it's just us eating pasta together, but I'd be uncomfortable doing it with a group, I'd be embarrassed. Though I do care enough about Nat that, if she really wanted something like that, I'd embarrass myself for her." Okay, enough with the heartfelt emotions I didn't look at either Nat or the prof before continuing "If we do something in a sex club or sex positive club whatever it's called, I'd be more comfortable embarrassing myself a bit more."

The professor spoke up "From how you spoke with me here, and your description, Jane, I think I have a decent idea of how you verbally tease Nat in private or public situations. Unless either of you think of anything significant, if you do feel free to add it, I'd like to discuss how your private, sexual relationship has changed in terms of who is in charge. Given what you've said, I think for this part start with Jane and Natalie interject if you have a correction or are asked?"

Did the professor have a smirk on her face? No that would be unprofessional. Well, no, not unprofessional, we can't always control our facial expressions. I swear, if one more guy says anything about RBF, no, back to Nat and the bedroom! But first, Nat spoke up "There was one thing, no two things. First, semi public, we watch most stuff at home, you know Netflix and chill, or sometimes actually watching Netflix, but sometimes we do go out to see a movie, and until classes started in September our days were mostly free so even for popular movies we saw some daytime shows with not many people there. On one occasion, I mean it's silly but not entirely verbal, Jane spilled some popcorn in my lap and told me, no, she'd take care of it, she brushed most of it off but one piece had gone between my legs, I was wearing jeans, she reached between my legs and said something like, not finding anything, nothing there, nothing there anymore, oh wait, I feel something, can it be, no of course it wouldn't be that, it's just a piece of popcorn. Okay all done, you're nice and clean, nothing between your legs anymore, nothing to distract you while you watch the movie." Nat had closed her eyes while saying this, probably to help her remember, I can't believe I forgot to mention this! "And, I don't want to get too off track here professor, just before Jane resumes, it's been hard for me to bring this up with her, and I think she would think it taking me too far, but if there's a situation in which, not 100% but mostly safe, a dark restaurant, we're left privately because staff rarely comes around and when they do she'll say I dropped something, I read a story once in which a woman was hiding under the table, and started playing with and then eating out the woman eating her meal at the table. I mean the story I think somehow had them not know each other, obviously nothing ridiculous like that, but that's something where it's like I'd be servicing her, as the only one in our relationship with a clit, but there'd still be a chance at embarrassing her if she couldn't control herself, or like that old movie When Harry Met Sally." Nat still had both her eyes closed, I was waiting but I think she was waiting for me to resume speaking before opening her eyes again.

Hmm, that did sound interesting, I'd say it would be nice for Valentine's Day but I don't want to wait a few months. I turned to look at the professor again and said "That does sound interesting, despite risking embarrassing me, we'll talk about it later. But, before I again try to get back to the bedroom in our discussion, and what Nat said about a restaurant reminded me of some videos I've seen, I've thought about getting one of those remote controlled vibrators, you know where either it's a remote or controlled by your phone. Obviously not a butterfly or similar clitoral stimulator, there'd be no point, literally, but I've seen some stuff about women inserting a remote controlled vibrator and then going to a public place, and having someone else control the intensity. I mean typically it's a man controlling it, that's obviously not of interest here, but remotely stimulating Nat in a public place, maybe in a group setting, okay not at first but later, with Nat being sexually stimulated but she could relax, no worries about having to stop herself from coming, she can't! Even if she still had her clit she wouldn't be able to come from a vibrator in her vagina only, she'd have to pretend to drop something in her lap, popcorn maybe" my smile got bigger "and stimulate her clit to come. But as Nat described with the movie theatre, there's nothing there anymore, so I could use the remote and just stimulate Nat as much as I wanted, with the group there, and Nat being distracted but not having to worry about concealing her orgasm. Only her blushing, heavy breathing, and having to wipe off the seat when she stands up. Because of course if, no when we do this, she's not going to be wearing a pad, it'll be a thin pair of panties to keep the toy in and a white skirt, so that she has to bunch it up behind her, not under her, to not leave a stain on it. And with this group, and with the remote going full speed, I'll have to bring up Ofglen or Bella or otherwise talk about what it would be like to not have a clitoris, to not be able to come ever again."

"This is interesting and related to the subject of how you tease Natalie, but like I said before, I don't want this to be about, or at least not entirely about, you two having sexual fun. Obviously Natalie will choose whether or not to commit to being a guest speaker, but I want to know that you're both taking the prospect seriously, not just using me as a prop in your sexual roleplaying." I could tell from her tone of voice the professor was less happy with us.

"No professor, both Jane and I, I mean when we first started as roommates before the exchange trip and were discussing consent and ethics and everything, one thing that I'd read about that made sense was, for stuff like exhibitionism, it's wrong to make other people, even if they're all adults, part of your game because they can't consent. For stuff like Jane talking about movies or shows with clitoridectomies, that's with friends we'd talk about that stuff with even if nothing had ever happened to me, just like we would talk about sex or sexy people or whatever. We don't roleplay religion though. This is a bit out of left field, but as she said Jane wasn't sexually repressed because of her parents, they were pretty open about sex as were mine, and all good people, we're not actively going to church every week right now but we both went and prayed when we got back after this happened to me, and we go when we visit our parents, for us it's positive and comforting. If our relationship continues, and I hope it does, we've talked about we both eventually want to get married, or at least blessed, in a church that does that, have any children baptized, that sort of stuff. I'm only mentioning it because we were talking about ethics and morality, and we have both been clear, from when our relationship first started, that whatever we do, anything religious, for any religion, is a hard no for both of us in a sexual context. No safeword needed, it's a no go area. Discussing Handmaid's Tale isn't a problem, that's such an extreme fictional world that has nothing to do with what we've both experienced in our own upbringing."

The professor seemed a bit taken aback by how strongly Nat had spoken up, and I was vigorously nodding in agreement. But I wanted to change the topic from religion, and I'm sure you, reading my account of what happened later, don't want to hear about religion.

"Finally, back to the bedroom." I think everyone was relieved to leave the topic of religion and the professor's earlier questioning about our seriousness. "When Nat asked me to take charge, I'd already been doing research, I mean about lesbian bondage generally, about how women with a clitoridectomy or worse were with sex, what they liked from real stories, or what was particularly painful for some, though that was more about women who'd had FGM as children from an unskilled woman. And yeah, as you know professor it's usually a woman doing this in families or villages or whatever. Men are typically even more ignorant about the clitoris than men here are, and I read more than one real story about a man finding out about what was supposed to be women's business, and forbidding their wife from doing it to their daughter or something. One of the few patriarchal, man taking charge things I totally agree with! Though I also read about some men who were more in favour of it, sometimes for religious reasons as they said, or saying it's more sanitary, or controls women, all mostly out of ignorance. But my focus was on, what to do or what to avoid physically. I was also looking at fiction and fantasies, not intending to get into roleplaying or a lot of verbal teasing on our first time with me in charge, but I was preparing. I was surprised to find, I mean who knows if they're real or fantasy or men pretending to be women, but a lot of accounts of adult women knowingly agreeing to a clitoridectomy, either with the intention of eliminating or reducing the intensity of orgasms, or to express love to their male partner, whatever. Most of the discussions that seemed real, for women who said they could still orgasm, was g-spot stimulation or very strong stimulation of the clitoral area like with a hitachi, something strong like that needed. A few saying how they could come from anal sex, I found those less believable though as Nat mentioned it was one of the things we tried. After our disastrous trip to Germany, or because of it, I mean with limited knowledge of the language and search tools I found a lot of German language discussions of slaves having their clits removed, some with consent, some tricked or forced into it. I really hope it's fakes and fantasies, at least for those who didn't do it willingly, but given Nat's experience I fear it's more common than people think. And of course for millions of girls and women where it's more common, I don't want to act like it's worse for western white women, but I do think it's much worse for Nat, because she was so sexually active and orgasmic and multiorgasmic so easily before her clitoridectomy, if she'd grown up not knowing what she was missing it would still be terrible and a human rights violation, no moral relativity here, I don't care about your culture or religion wrong is wrong, but I think it's worse for Nat because she went from multiple orgasms every day to nothing just like that." So much for my finally back to the bedroom, now I'm talking about mistreatment of millions of women, I could see the professor was impatient and continued before she said something "For our first sex with me in charge as dominant, I decided to start with me doing something I'd never done before, at least not unbound, me being a total pillow princess. I told Nat that it was her job to gradually excite me and bring me to orgasm, and then bring me to orgasm repeatedly, until I told her to stop. After coming back from exchange, and having the house to ourselves for now, I tended to masturbate alone and privately so Nat wouldn't feel bad, like in the shower, but for our first time with me in charge I'd forced myself to stop for a few days to make sure I'd be excited, ready, and not sore, ready to be stimulated a lot. Neither of us needed lube except for when we tried anal, but we did keep some both for when we'd tried that and in case we needed it during any marathon sessions. Just mentioning it because I kept it available for my first time as pillow princess, didn't need it, but otherwise had all sorts of toys there, some vibrators, clips, fantasy whips I mean fluffy not leather the leather was part of the bondage stuff, except the anal stuff, but no bondage gear. There was even suction clit sucker and licker, not that Nat could use it anymore, well maybe on her nipples, for me because of the large clit ring at the head of my clit I couldn't use it and I didn't want to remove my clit ring, at least not yet. The stud a bit further back I definitely wanted to keep! Nat looked a bit uncertain, I told her to start with kissing me and playing with my nipples, she could move on from there, but that I expected by the time we finished that she'd find it hard to talk, her tongue and mouth would be so tired from licking and sucking my clit. I didn't emphasize her missing clit, wasn't trying that yet. It was great, I did have to give her some specific instructions for stuff involving pulling on my clit ring, couldn't really pull on the stud further back, holding a vibrator to my clit stud to stimulate the inside of my clit while gently pulling on the ring in the head and even twisting it slightly while doing this, that sort of stuff that even while Nat had a clit she wasn't too familiar with because she hadn't had piercings, and before she'd been great about bringing me to orgasm even as a dom, but her questions were more about making sure I wasn't too uncomfortable or in pain, not seeking advice on how best to use my clitoral piercings to stimulate me. So that first time, we were in bed for literally hours, I had five orgasms, no six I remember pushing Nat and myself to make sure I reached half a dozen, by then we were both so tired I told Nat just to lick me gently to clean up, then to get a washcloth and wipe me down with warm water, then to take a shower and clean herself up before coming back to bed with me. When she came back, she was disappointed when I told her I was too tired from all the orgasms to try to do anything for her, told her what I wanted for breakfast but only when I woke up naturally, and that if she woke before me not to get up and go to the bathroom until I was awake because I didn't want her getting out of bed to wake me up. Nat looked pretty pissed off but didn't say anything, just put on a sleep t-shirt and got in bed with me, I normally wear a sleep tee also but the temperature was okay, I just snuggled with Nat who was wearing a shirt, but only snuggling, no getting busy with my hands." Even a couple of months later, I smiled at the memory. "I didn't want to leave Nat too long without something for herself, when I woke up I told Nat she could go to the bathroom and make breakfast, I'd be along soon. Then I made up some excuse for my toast not being toasted properly and I could tell she'd spit in my food, so that I'd have to punish her. I told her to go back to the bedroom, strip, and get the bondage stuff out. The other toys and lube were still out from last night, but I told Nat not to get out the anal stuff because I'd just eaten and didn't want to have to deal with her shit, literally. I actually said, literally. I could tell Nat wasn't pissed at me, I mean neither of us liked anal to begin with, and she knew I wasn't seriously criticizing her cooking, she's much better than me, I was just looking for an excuse for bondage and punishing her. Before she left the kitchen I got serious for a moment and just checked she remembered the safewords and procedure if gagged. I'm going to stop mentioning each time that we do that, just assume it's a given that we always do that, and the safewords are something that are innocuous enough to be used publicly if we've gone out. So, now professor, I'll talk about the first time being a more physical dom with Nat here, a switch in our roles, and the night before hadn't involved any bondage or punishment just me as a pillow princess being brouth to orgasm repeatedly by our clitless cuntlicker Nat here."