Guest Speaker

Since I'd met with Professor Gale Thursday afternoon, I wasn't expecting to hear from her, one way or the other until next week. So my girlfriend, hey I'll use her name now, Natalie, we're Jane and Natalie or Nat, spent Thursday afternoon and evening serving me. At least that was my plan, but walking home, I thought that if I could stand it, it would be more fun to build my own anticipation before then next meeting. And of course Nat had no choice but to build anticipation!

We both had assignments to work on for the weekend, no parties and neither of us were in the mood, we were distracted enough and found it hard to focus on work. I mean, I did, and while Nat had started to become used to her usual permanent distraction, we did talk about how she was both excited and nervous, hoping she would speak to the prof and be a guest speaker. Or at least speaking to the prof, being a guest speaker was pushing her comfort buttons - not her pleasure button, she no longer had one - because it was a larger group than was usual for our agreed-upon semi-public but confidential reveals of her condition. But even if she spoke to the class it would be next semester, literally next year, or that's how I told her to think about it.

Tuesday afternoon we had an email from Professor Gale saying that if we still wanted my girlfriend to be considered as a speaker - I hadn't told the prof her name yet - that she should fill out the external speaker waiver and consent form, and we could schedule for half an hour Thursday afternoon at 3, if the professor found it useful enough we could go beyond half an hour as she had no more appointments that afternoon, if we were both free, if not we should provide her a list of possible dates and times. She also stated that she would need to spend part of the meeting time with Natalie alone, to discuss her situation with her privately without me in the room. We were both excited enough that even if we'd had a class Thursday afternoon we would have skipped it - unlike some of our fellow students, we figure we're spending enough money or incurring enough student debt that to not take advantage of attending classes would be a waste. But for this, we would have skipped anyway!

Preparing for our Thursday meeting involved both going over a summary of our experiences, we figured it would be mostly Natalie with the occasional interjection by me, and it was difficult but I still didn't bring myself to orgasm before the meeting or fool around with Nat. Part of our prep was outfits, we wanted to look serious but not like we were trying to hard, I suggested we both wear skirts to be feminine and in case we decided to fool around afterwards before coming back to our room. I was horny enough that even one of those bathrooms would have been tolerable! I did tell her though, "Nat, don't wear a pantiliner. I know you'll be turned on, but I think it will be sexier if there's a spot, especially if you have to wipe the professor's chair before we leave."

Nat despite her varied experience still got embarrassed and turned red with anything that smacked of revealing her turnons like that, but she liked it too, and agreed. Of course I'd wear a pantiliner, I wanted to embarrass Nat, not myself.

You'll learn more about Nat later, but just in case you were wondering, yes of course she can't reach orgasm, she was never able to come from penetration or nipple stimulation or anything else we tried before or after she lost her clit, but she still enjoys being touched, and licked, and penetrated, and I try to be a good girlfriend and help her out, while also of course teasing her about how I'm wasting my time because she can't come. No, I'm not a bitch, or at least not for this reason, we discovered she likes being teased, like I told the prof, and we'll give more info in our meeting. Before we left to walk over I reminded her she'd need photo ID and asked her to check, she just rolled her eyes and showed me her student ID and driver's license.

"Nat, bring your passport too."

"Why? It won't show where I was in Eastern Europe or where we were in Scandinavia." Yes, even in this anonymous telling of our experiences, I'm still not specifying where in Scandinavia, and as I already mentioned, Nat can't recall where in Eastern Europe her clit kicked the bucket.

I practice phrases like that in my head, considering whether to use them on Nat. I didn't think this one was great.

"Yeah, but it will show when we entered and left Europe for the exchange program."

Nat sighed and went to get her passport from the drawer she kept it in, I could tell she didn't think it was necessary, but she tolerated my suggestion.

Like with her condition, details of our agreement will be discussed later, but just to summarize, it's only a sexual thing, I don't order her around, if anything she's more likely to tell me what to do in everyday life. She likes being teased about being clitless and orgasmless, and she likes being pushed a bit into semi-public but still confidential reveals, like if we're on a trip somewhere and meeting strangers socially. When I discussed this class and her being a guest speaker, she was both disturbed and excited, but agreed that it still sounded confidential, especially if our relationship wasn't revealed to the class and maybe she'd wear a wig and sunglasses or something. She didn't require 100% certainty that no-one would link us and her and her missing clit, it was more about not wanting her family or friends back home to know. About her clitorisless state, she doesn't care or says she doesn't care about what they think about our lesbian relationship. I think she cares, but everything's fine, I met her parents when they visited Nat - this was while she still had a clit - and they seemed nice to me, my own parents don't have a problem either, they're more concerned about whether or not I eventually have kids.

Sorry about all the clit and clitoris and clitless and clitorisless, but again, I try rehearsing different words thinking about how they'll work with Nat as part of our sex play. I usually use clitless and cumless with her, orgasmless doesn't sound right to me, but clitorisless has a nice ring to it, I'll try that with her.

I never knew I had this fetish or kink until what happened to Nat - I still don't exactly know the difference between a kink and a fetish, I'll make sure to learn it before next semester's course - and of course I hate how many millions of women and girls around the world are tortured by FGM or whatever euphemism people use instead of being honest about what's being taken from these victims. But because we discovered Nat gets turned on by teasing and humliation, I've leaned into it and enjoy this sort of performance and wordplay and teasing with her, as horrified as I'd be in any other situation.

Anyway, back to the sex, I mean the hopefully sexy story of what happened. I'm going to leave out stuff like describing our walk over to the professor's office or how we were early and killed some time talking about politics - I'm not going to talk about that here though, it's probably even more of a mood-killer than having your clit cut off.

When we got the the professor's office I knocked, the prof looked up and said "Please come in, close the door and have a seat."

"Professor Gale, would you mind if I locked the door? I know it's unlikely, but we'd really rather not have someone barge in while we're talking."

She thought for a moment then said "That's fine, I already have your form and saw your photo ID, I also received your external speaker form, Natalie..."

"Just Natalie" she said, "I know you have my full name and everything, but please call me Natalie."

"Okay, but I'll need to see photo ID, are you a student at this university? If so I assume you're not taking the human sexuality course next semester or you'd use the form Jane used."

"No, only Jane." We both sat down, Nat then opened her purse and leaned forward to put her student ID and driver's licence on the professor's desk. After I pretended to cough, she looked at me, sighed, and gave her passport also. The prof looked briefly at the IDs and a bit longer at the passport, flipping through the back pages and seeing a few stamps from going to Europe and returning here to the US. She then leaned forward to put them all on the edge of her desk close to Nat, who picked them up and put them back in her purse, which she kept in her lap.

"Natalie and Jane, I'll be taking notes during this meeting. Nothing's being recorded of course, but I have notes already with your forms about what Jane stated last meeting. I am not a therapist or other licensed professional with legal protection around confidentiality, as the forms should have made clear, but I do keep the information confidential except in cases of serious illegality like if someone is actually a pedophile or murderer or kidnapping or raping people outside of fantasy. Or of course if you're a guest speaker, Nat, then information is revealed to the class. As I understand it what you two have done involves behaviour with animals that appears to have been legal where it occurred, and Nat, your own experience, in which you were a victim not a perpetrator, and as Jane briefly described it may have been a case of mistaken or misunderstood surgical consent? Meaning nothing I believe I am legally, morally, or ethically obliged to reveal to others."

"Professor Gale, before Nat starts talking, she'll do most of the talking but I'll chip in about our relationship, but there's an elephant in the room. Or lack of an elephant, Nat's missing clit. You were skeptical, and I understand why, and photos or video could be altered or AI. We weren't about to get a doctor's note specifying Nat no longer has a clit either!" Hmm, actually, making Nat get a note like that if it's not too expensive, sounds like a fun way to fit in with our semi-publicly but confidentially reveal her status, if I get her to visit not her usual doctor at the university clinic. But it's not like a sick note, what could she plausibly need to be excused from to need such a note? I'll think about it.

Anyway, the prof was still looking at me, I could tell from Nat's face that she thought she knew where this was going.

"Nat, please remove your panties, stand up beside Professor Gale's desk, hold up your skirt with your forearms, and spread your lips so that Professor Gale can confirm you no longer have a clitoris."

Nat had turned red in the face but she took her purse off her lap and placed it on the floor.

"Wait, this is not appropriate..."

"Professor, you've already heard, and will hear, extremely private things about us and Nat that no-one else knows. We trust you to keep information confidential. This is showing you proof that we're not trying to fool you, and I think without this proof you wouldn't be able to fairly decide whether or not Nat should be a guest speaker. She's only showing you, there's no touching, if you want to see anything specific she or I will manipulate her vulva to show you."

The professor just looked at me, thinking. Nat had stopped when the professor spoke up, looked at me, and I waved for her to continue. She humped a bit in the chair - sorry that's the only way I can describe it - until her panties were down past her knees, then realized she was sitting there with her panties around her knees and her shoes were still on. She slipped off her shoes, pulled her panties down the rest of the way and held them hanging from her right hand, looking at me.

The professor now spoke up again. "Let me think for a moment." She closed her eyes, then opened them and used her mouse to find something on her computer. She then said, "Okay, thinking about it you have a point, and double-checking the waiver forms it says revealing, showing, displaying photos or video in a confidential setting with me and if desired a support person - that's you, Ms. Smith - or in class if agreed upon. So okay for now, but like I said in our first meeting, Ms. Smith, I don't like being used for someone's kink or fetish or being blindsided like this. Go ahead if you are okay with doing this, Natalie." She said the last to Nat, of course. And also, aargh, I still don't know the difference between a kink and a fetish!

I could smell - and see, Nat had worn white panties today and even with how they were hanging from her right hand I could see the wet spot - that Nat was aroused. Holding her panties toward me she was about to say something.

"Nat, I don't want my hands to smell like sex, and I don't have gloves or a bag with me." That was a lie, I had gloves with me in case the professor had been willing to examine Nat, or for me to wear if I needed to pull Nat's lips apart more than she did, to show the prof what was no longer there. Make it look more professional and medical. Wow, even typing this after the fact I'm totally turned on. "You need your hands free to spread yourself, so just grip your panties between your teeth or wad them up and stick them in your mouth. Your choice."

Nat, still red in the face, glared at me, and it looked like the professor thought about saying something, but before she did Nat turned to her and said "Professor, please, this is genuine but I also still like this, it helps me to still feel sexual, like we'll discuss afterwards, this is consensual." Then she turned back to me and said "Just between my teeth, I don't need to gag myself, thanks, and I know you're lying about not having gloves."

She then stood up, carefully bit down and hung her panties from her mouth, leaning forward a bit so they didn't touch her blouse - I guess she was worried that depending upon how they hung down the wet area might otherwise stain her top - lifted her skirt, held it up with her forearms, and spread her outer and inner lips at the top with her index fingers. Her clit hood, the female foreskin or prepuce, had been removed as part of her surgery.

The professor's window overlooked an open area on campus, we were on the third floor, Nat was not close to the window, and there were no buildings close by. I suppose someone could have been looking with telescopic surveillance gear, but it seemed unlikely or even impossible given it was a tinted window, I didn't even bother teasing Nat about being exposed that way.

"Professor, it's probably easiest if you roll your chair over." I suggested.

The prof glanced at me, stood up and rolled her chair over. The scent of arousal seemed even stronger to me, or maybe that was just my imagination. Not just Nat, but like I mentioned I'd worn a pantiliner today to avoid leaving a wet spot on the professor's chair.

Another aside, except for all the sexy stuff I'm not going to talk much about what it's like being a woman and periods, it's necessary but not sexy. Well, some people are into it but just like anal, I'm not into it at all. Both Nat and I take extended-cycle birth control pills (we're not having sex with men, but we take pills to control our periods, we take them without the monthly week of placebos instead we stop about every 3 months, so that we stop our periods except for every 3 months. It's safe but talk to your doctor first.)

Back to what we've all been waiting for!

The prof leaned forward. I spoke up, "Since Nat can't talk right now, I'll summarize and she can fill in the details and the circumstances of her circumcision - and the confusion in terminology - later. As you can see, her outer and inner labia are intact, except for the portion of her inner labia near the top, where they met up with her clitoral hood, or prepuce. That's gone, along with her clitoris. It looks like a neat job, not that I'm an expert except when it comes to my close examination of Nat, but I think the scar is bigger than it would normally be because Nat's clitoris was so large. The scar as you can see is whitish-pinkish, Nat's white and fairly pale so it doesn't stand out as much as it would if she were darker skinned. Well, it doesn't stand out at all because there's nothing left to stand out!" At that the professor turned to look at me.

"Sorry, professor. So anyway, because Nat had such a large clitoris, there was a lot more flesh to remove. Her clitoris wasn't large as a medical condition, I mean she says it was much larger than average from what she's read and seen, but still within the range of normal, but as I'm sure you know professor, here - whether you mean here this state, or this city, or this campus - physicians are very good at supporting gender affirming treatments. So Natalie wanting a prescription for testosterone - sorry I keep on getting mixed up between DHA and DHT and whatever's legal and effective here, but it's on a prescription - was pretty straightforward. Me too, we'll discuss how Nat encouraged me to get similar treatment, though of course I still have my large clitoris."

I paused then continued, the prof I assume was listening to me but was focused intently on Nat's clit . (did you like that? I thought the strikethrough was amusing, when Nat reads this I hope she likes, or hates, it!) "When I said Nat's clitoris wasn't large because of a medical condition, I meant that it was within the range of normal before she started testosterone, but believe me, it grew large enough I can understand why that European doctor thought it was abnormal and she might plausibly want it removed." At that both the professor and Nat looked at me, Nat with more of a glare, but the kind of glare I recognized as a good kind of angry glare, I was fulfilling my prescribed role in teasing and humiliating her. Of course when she turned to glare at me the panties hanging from her mouth waved and I imagined a wave of feminine arousal spreading through the air. What do you want, I'm not a poet or romance novelist!

I smiled slightly and continued. "I should mention, Nat still is prescribed and still takes testosterone, or rather, I help her apply the creme to where her clit used to be. The reason is, while we've been unable to get Nat to reach orgasm, from discussing the situation with her doctor, it might be possible that with surgical treatment some portions of the clitoris and nerve might remain there underneath the scar tissue, to be exposed and allow for Nat to experience greater pleasure, and possibly orgasm. However, if there is any clitoral flesh remaining, it's advisable to grow it as much as possible before the surgery to hopefully help her, so that if there's anything left, there's more clitoral tissue to expose when the surgery is performed. So even though Nat had been on - I'll just call it T, professor - even though she'd been on T, and had experienced clitoral growth, there might have been more clitoral growth possible, and so we're continuing with the T for, well, as long as possible since there's really only one chance at it. And it's pretty expensive surgery and we need an expert. For obvious reasons, Nat doesn't want to go to an Eastern European expert, even though it would be more affordable!"

I paused again, I really should have brought a drink with me. I mean water or coffee, not alcohol! "Of course, one side effect is that, with continuing to take T, Nat's libido is strongly enhanced. This makes her inability to reach orgasm even more frustrating since she's essentially always sexually excited, but since that feeds into her desire to express her sexuality by being teased about her inability to reach orgasm, it seems to be working out okay so far. Though Nat is even more into sports and meditation and stuff than she was before, to help her be distracted and to still be able to focus on her studies."

The professor spoke up while still not turning away from Nat's vulva. I tried to sound more scientific and medical when summarizing Nat's condition, still thinking that way when I was recalling what I said when writing it down now. Typing it down. Keyboarding it down. Whatever!

"What is she studying, and you, for taking my course next semester?"

"I'm mostly sociology and psychology, I know everybody takes those, I'm planning to major in one or both, Nat's brainier and is taking biology with some other sciences and maths, if her marks stay high enough she might try for medical school."

"Anyway, professor, again to summarize and Nat can explain more, before all this happened Nat was very sexual and very orgasmic and multi-orgasmic, but only with clitoral stimulation as a significant part of the experience. She had tried orgasm through penetration and G-spot stimulation, nipple play, anal penetration, and never succeeded. By herself or with me. Since her clitoridectomy we've tried, together and her alone, the same plus hitachi vibration over her clit scar and pubic area generally, and combinations, and Nat gets very, very turned on, and feels like she's approaching orgasm, but she said she feels like she only gets maybe 80 to 90 percent of the way there. Maybe on a good day with extra stimulation for hours 95 percent, but never closer. I know it's not math, that's just how Nat describes it. In terms of appearance, except for her clitoris she looks the way she did when our relationship started, she actually is blonde although her pubic hair is a bit darker, yet another thing I tease her about, but it's still clearly blonde. But she shaves regularly, we're considering electrolysis and possibly tattoos to emphasize her lack of a clitoris to those who see her in changing rooms or something, but that's a bigger step in terms of her desire for semi-public humiliation we need to think about."

The professor was still staring at Nat. "Thank you but you've summarized enough, I want to hear more from Nat on those topics and her sexual experiences before and after. But I will ask you, I do wonder, what kind of tattoo were you thinking of?"

"Nothing concrete, we were thinking tattoo in the pubic area that said "clit" with that red circle and a diagonal slash through it, or "no clit = no orgasm", we thought those might be subtle enough that the first one could be interpreted as she didn't want to be touched, the second as unless no clit touching means no orgasm, well in her case that's still true but not in the way most people would think! Or more obviously and more crude, "clitless bitch" or something, neither of us likes gendered insults like "bitch", but for sexual stuff since we're both women we'll use it sometimes."

I took out my phone and put the flashlight on. "Professor, I'll just help make sure you see. Well, from the glare and the smell, you can tell Nat is really wet and sexually excited. Not a surprise, given her circumstances, this conversation, and the T she's using! When I pulled out my phone I realized I do have gloves with me." (as I said, and as Nat knew, I lied when I said I didn't have them, just so she'd have to take the bit, or in this case her panties, between her teeth). I'll put them on, take Nat's panties, and then she can start talking while you can still take a look about what she's talking about, or at least imagine what used to be there that she's talking about!"