Guest Speaker

"Ms. Smith, I've warned you before. This is a serious subject and a serious class, don't try to turn it into your girlfriend standing here naked while we talk. I suppose this is as good a time as any, as mentioned I'll need to speak to you, Natalie, alone to make sure you understand and wish to continue discussing your situation. I'd suggest taking a break for a few minutes, washrooms are down the hall to your left if you want to wash your hands, Natalie. Natalie, only you come back. Jane, there's a waiting area outside the admin office on the first floor, one of us will text you when you can return here. Leave the door open until you come back, Natalie."

We both left the prof's office. I hadn't touched myself or Nat so didn't really need to wash up but was going to follow Nat until she turned to me partway down the hall and said "The professor wanted to speak to me alone, you should just go down to the first floor, I'll text you when you can return."

I couldn't think of what to say other than "Okay." and I went to the elevator. Nat told me later what the professor had discussed with her, no there wasn't any hands-on inspection or anything, it was more the professor being sympathetic and asking Nat questions surrounding whether I'd encouraged or pushed her to get circumcised, whether she was genuinely willing to be a guest speaker and emphasizing she could withdraw at any time including right before the class she'd be speaking in, that kind of stuff. And going over stuff I'd talked to the professor about in our first meeting and again a few minutes before with Nat, confirming the history. Did she feel comfortable risking exposing our relationship in class and thus potentially who she was also came up, and Nat suggested maybe sunglasses and a wig. The prof said that would be fine, but it wasn't like on tv or movies where the witness to a crime is interviewed in a dark room with their voice electronically altered. The professor also emphasized that assuming Nat wanted to continue talking, she'd prefer to talk to her alone. Nat, though, told her that she did find my presence emotionally helpful, and emphasized again that she wanted me to be edgy and mean about her inability to orgasm, that choosing to have me behave that way helped her feel she was taking control of her circumstances. Also Nat said that for discussing our relationship history, which she thought was interesting in terms of how our sexual relationship roles had shifted, it would be better to have me there also.

I was too distracted to do much surfing or reading on my phone, I was just wondering what Nat and the professor were talking about.

After about 20 minutes I got a text from Nat, telling me to come back to the office. When I got there the door was closed, I knocked and heard the professor to tell me to come in.

"Please close the door, and if you want to lock it again, go ahead, then sit down please."

After doing all that, the professor said "Jane, Natalie has said among other things that because your relationship roles, at least sexually, have shifted dramatically, that how you two met and first became involved is something I should hear about from both of you. I've already heard about Natalie's sex life before meeting you. If you're willing, please talk about your sex life before meeting Natalie."

Nat's sex life before we met, of course we talked about our history, but wasn't very unusual compared to our more recent developments. She hadn't thought much about her orientation until some point in puberty when she was unsure. She hadn't even had sex with anyone, male or female, until she was 18, which she thought was pretty unusual compared to her friends. She had sex with a man (Nat always says something about like if you can call an 18-year-old a man) before leaving home to enter the collegiate life, but according to her it had been uncomfortable, messy even with a condom, and not very satisfying, she'd had to masturbate afterwards in the shower to have an orgasm.

I was worse. As I told the professor, I mean Nat too but she'd heard this from me before, "My parents were reasonably open, they made sure I learned all about not just my body and periods and reproduction but that sex is enjoyable, at least in general terms. I mean they'd already told me growing up more about relationships how some men liked other men and some women liked other women, that kind of stuff. When I was older I didn't get a how-to talk, I told them I'd already learned everything and they'd given me books and suggested some genuinely educational not pornographic websites, but when we talked, they emphasized the importance of not being pressured into doing anything I didn't want, and not pressuring others or thinking that I had to do or not do the same things as other teenagers.  My Dad also talked about how guys think with their dicks - it was pretty funny that's not how he usually talked - and my mother talked more about peer pressure and societal expectations. And they made sure I had access, either from books or from the Internet, to information, and they emphasized how not everything on the web was true, not to expect real sex to be like porn, and so on. Pretty healthy I think, even though it's fashionable for everyone to complain about being sexually repressed by their upbringing."

"From Natalie's description of how you first met and what you said before, though, it sounded like you were not particularly sexually knowledgeable?"

"No professor, I was knowledgeable in the academic sense, it's just, as a teenager except for right before my period I didn't seem really interested in sex or masturbating, and I'd learned to associate those feelings with, I'm about to get my period. So not exactly fun, except for irregular periods and cramping when I started puberty it's not too bad, it's just, I'm a bit of a neat freak and periods were messy, and sex seemed so messy, that I wasn't really that interested. I did try masturbating, only right before a shower or in the shower, but while I had some nice feelings anytime they started getting stronger I hated the feeling of starting to lose control and I stopped. Talking with Nat, I think not wanting to lose control is why until we went to Europe on the exchange and alcohol was more normal, I had tried alcohol but not drank much, even though my parents encouraged me to try some at home at family dinners, kind of a controlled setting. I don't know about my siblings, my brother is a couple of years older but has only had short-term girlfriends from what I've seen, and my younger sister seems kind of boy crazy at least by my, attracted to women, standards!"

"Jane, it's not so common anymore, but it's still not unusual for women even as sexually active young adults, to not have reached orgasm or at least not very frequently. So don't feel embarrassed about that."

"Thank you professor, nice to hear it from an expert! So Nat and I were roommates, random assignment, but she seemed happy and normal to me. I was a bit shy about being naked, even topless, in our room, Nat seemed more comfortable with nudity but she wasn't in your face with it." Nat chuckled and I realized what I'd said and quickly spoke up again "I mean, it was more like it just didn't bother her, not that she was making a point about it or deliberately being naked in front of me, just that it was okay if it happened."

The professor said "I understand, please continue."

At this point Nat spoke up. "Professor, I should say, while not very sexually active, I was a frequent masturbator, and I thought it was best to talk about roommate expectations like no borrowing clothes or makeup without asking unless it was an emergency, no guests even if in hours allowed by the dorm without letting each other know as a courtesy, that kind of stuff. And I suggested that we share our class schedules with each other and choose some convenient times for each of us to have alone time in the room."

I spoke up again, "When Nat said that, I'm embarrassed to say, I didn't get what she meant, I thought she meant time for study or phone or video calls, or being alone for mental health coping with being with so many strangers."

Nat smiled and said, "I did mean for mental health, but I saw you didn't get what I meant, so I was more explicit. I told her, professor, something like, I like to masturbate a lot, and I can bite on something if I'm under the covers at night with the lights out, but it would be nice to have a few times a week to indulge without having to be overly quiet or covered up."

"I was pretty embarrassed by what Nat said, but I told her that was fine, I was happy to agree on alone times, but I didn't think I'd need it as much as her. This led to her asking me questions and eventually it came out that I didn't masturbate much because I hadn't reached orgasm. Nat was not happy about that."

"I told Jane something like, did you come from some repressive background, and she said her parents were great, but that she could never make herself masturbate past a certain point of losing control. I asked if Jane was currently in a relationship, and if she preferred men, women, both, or what. And I volunteered that I preferred women, but that I hoped she wasn't uncomfortable."

"I wasn't uncomfortable, professor. Well, I mean I was uncomfortable with Nat talking so much about masturbation and making noise and stuff but not about her being lesbian. Anyway, she suggested that I look up some guides even if aimed at teenagers because she didn't want any woman to be missing out on orgasms. Ironic that she's now one of them!"

I figured the conversation had been serious for long enough that I could thrown in a tease to Nat, and the professor now, after having spoken with her privately, didn't seem disturbed by me doing this like she had been before. She just ignored it.

Nat gave a mock glare in my direction then said "A few days later it was Friday afternoon, this was the first week of classes and we'd also been going to frosh stuff, sometimes together sometimes different events, there were a bunch of parties but I was pretty tired of socializing and Jane was also. I suggested we pick up some of the free pizza our dorm had downstairs as a Friday welcome to all the new students and residents and just eat dinner in our room and watch something. No, I did not have any ulterior motives! My parents are pretty well-off so I have no problem paying for streaming and having food even outside the meal plan. I mean, yes I'd have to study but I had been pretty good about budgeting my time in high school and didn't think I'd be too distracted by watching movies and shows. I know it would be romantic to say what the first movie we watched together was, but honestly, whatever Netflix suggested based on my viewing was crap, it was some romance but without any action, or sports, or sex, or romance, that I remember."

"Yeah, it was pretty bad." I added.

Nat resumed "We'd previously discussed that neither of us really had a problem with alcohol and drinking underage, we really don't agree with adults not being allowed to drink, but neither of us wanted to run the risk of sneaking alcohol into our rooms and keeping it there. I mean, not a huge risk, but neither of us are big drinkers so we didn't see the point. So it was just pizza that at this point was room temperature, diet sprites we'd gotten along with the free pizza, and a crappy movie that when I suggested turning it off, Jane eagerly agreed. So no booze and no drugs and no sexy romantic movie but a boring one, it was all me that made the suggestion to Jane."

I spoke up again "We'd already discussed that neither of us was currently in a relationship, and we both preferred women even though I hadn't actually had sex yet."

Nat resumed "So I don't know why my inhibitions were lowered, with no booze, maybe just relaxed after a long week. After shutting off the movie there was a bit of an awkward silence and without looking at Jane, I remember I was still embarrassed enough not to look, I said something like, hey, neither of us are in a relationship, right? We're just two girls here. Would you like some advice, or maybe some practical help, in how you can enjoy your alone time? Yes, I called it alone time again."

I spoke up "I asked her if she was sure she wouldn't feel weird about it? Because I have to be honest, while I'd like to be in a relationship, I don't feel particularly horny or like I need to relieve myself, I feel pretty happy."

Nat said "I told her, yes, I know that, I don't want you to feel pressure, but even after a few days I think we're friends, one or both of us may be in a relationship soon, and I think you'll be more at ease meeting other women if you're a bit more experienced, even if it's just with yourself. Or, I guess, a bit with me. I'll be honest, I'm a bit turned on at the thought, but I don't want you to feel pressured or weirded out."

"To summarize what happened the rest of that evening, professor, Nat showed me how she masturbated, in general terms. Her clitoris at the time was large, but she hadn't started taking T."

Nat added "A transdermal androgen gel. I know it's more expensive, but as mentioned I get financial help from my parents. In general terms, they help me out, and I have money to spend on stuff, I didn't have to ask them to buy me that gel specifically! But as Jane said, that's later."

I resumed "She didn't masturbate to orgasm, just showed me what she did with her nipples and lips first, pubic area, and then later her clitoris. She showed me her vibrators, one for insertion one for her clitoris, but didn't use them at that point. She then asked me if I was more comfortable showing what I did, or having her touch me. I said since I was unsuccessful at masturbating to orgasm, I'd prefer she did it. But I said I didn't want to be penetrated by the vibrator or fingers if it meant losing my virginity."

Nat shook her head slightly and said "I then explained how virginity was about not having had sex with someone, not whether or not any hymen tissue was present, and that not all women had hymens especially but not only from everyday activity not just sports or tampons. Jane said she'd never felt very comfortable at the thought of tampons despite her mother's suggestion, and when she'd tried masturbating and looked at herself in a mirror, she thought she still had a hymen. As I soon saw she did, but right then I suggested that if she was sure she wasn't pressured and consented to my helping her, that I'd use my fingers and hands on her body including her breasts and genitals, I'd kiss her on the lips, on her face, and her breasts and maybe suck, but that I'd ask before any oral sex. I'd just start with rubbing and fingering external areas and at most one finger."

"It was great, professor, Nat really took her time, and I got really excited and a bit noisy, Nat stopped and took a break, and asked me if I was okay with oral sex. And I mean really asked and made sure I thought about it, not taking advantage of me being turned on. I said yes, but it turned out badly."

"How so?" asked the prof.

Nat took over "As she got more turned on and I was reaching up to pinch one of her nipples gently while using the other hand and my mouth on her lips and clit, she got more and more excited, and then when she was about to come she hit me, scratched my face and pulled my hair, not towards her, but away from her, it was extremely painful and she said it was too intense. I'm afraid I said something like, what the fuck did you do that for? Just say stop! With tears in my eyes. She apologized immediately, but the mood was broken and I told her not to talk to me and ignored her the rest of that evening. It was just red marks from her nails on my face, nothing bleeding or I'd have had to seek medical attention to make sure there was no scarring, it was the hair pulling that hurt the most."